Maxim (Carolina Reapers 10)

I swallowed hard.

“You’ve been around my family long enough to understand this, to have witnessed it firsthand, but I’m not sure if you’re connecting the dots.”

I tilted my head at her.

“My father only said the words I love you to my mother or brothers after he’d done something horrible.” Pain flashed over her eyes, and my heart squeezed. “He used those words like DuckTape, slapping it over any crack in the foundations of his relationships. He used it as a weapon, a tool to get what he wanted.”

Tears filled my eyes. I had seen that. Too many times to count.

Mila let out a slow breath. “I’m not saying it excuses Maxim’s inability to just talk to you about it. Give you solid reasons to stay even if he couldn’t say those words to you then, but I just wanted you to remember that your version of I love you and my family’s are viewed very differently.”

I crossed the space between us, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her like I could somehow soothe the darkness of her family’s past with my love for her alone. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, hoping she understood I wasn’t just sorry about her family dynamics, but also sorry I hadn’t even thought about that when Maxim had stood there stone silent, like he didn’t have a reason in the world to fight for us.

“I know,” she said. “And I’m not blaming you. He should’ve just told you all that himself, if that was his reasoning. He should’ve just talked it out with you. I know you would’ve listened.”

I would have. If Maxim had even given me a hint of what he was truly thinking, I would’ve listened. But he hadn’t said a word, and now we were here.

“Coffee,” Mila said, pulling out of my embrace and smiling at me. “I’ll be back.”

“I’ll be here,” I said as she headed through the doors and down the street to where a café rested on the corner, another total perk of this location. And I stood there, drowning in my own emotions, wondering if I’d made the biggest mistake of my life by not knocking on Maxim’s walls a little harder, digging for the truth that could’ve saved us both.

The next day, we were back to work at the gallery so early we’d needed two rounds of coffee before we could even begin. And after a night of tossing and turning, I’d finally decided to stop punishing myself for loving a man who didn’t love me back—especially after the truth bomb Mila had thrown at me. After all, my heart would heal, and Maxim would still be my family. With Mila being in my life, that meant he would be too.

Might as well rip off the Band-Aide now and get back to a common ground where Maxim and I could speak to each other without the pain fest. Plus, I missed him. I wanted to talk to him about what Mila had said, but I figured I’d already dug my own grave, and wouldn’t really blame him if he never wanted to speak to me again. But, that wouldn’t stop me from trying.

I pulled out my cell phone and fired off a text as fast as I could before I could chicken out.

ME: Good luck ??

The kiss emoji didn’t mean anything more than my honest-to-God hopes that the Reapers would win their game, because I knew if they won this game, then they’d win the Stanley Cup, and I knew how damn important that was to him.

Besides, it couldn't hurt anything anyway.

Couldn’t damage my heart more than I already had, and in the end, I would always want Maxim to be happy, regardless of where I was emotionally. And if that wasn’t love, I didn’t know what was.

19

MAXIM

The mood was a little somber as we went through morning skate on the Anaheim ice. Game six was tonight, and we had three wins and two losses.

If we pulled it off tonight, we’d skate away with the Cup.

If we lost, then the series would be tied three to three, and game seven would decide.

Our goal was to nail it down tonight and never make it to game seven.

I stepped off the ice, and David stood from where he’d been leaning against the hallway wall, typing something on his phone. We’d all been given one arena pass for family, but Dad had played here once-upon-a-time, which meant I’d been given two.

Had to admit, the fact that David was taking so much time away from the job he loved for me, and putting himself in a situation that could do nothing but dredge up bad memories, made me love him even more.

Love. See? I was capable of it, or at least capable of admitting it when it came to family.

“Busy holding up the wall, there?” Sterling teased David, coming up on my left.