“No he won’t.” Becca joined them in the hallway, pushing Tanner aside so she could hug Logan. “Because he knows what’s good for him.” She looked up at Logan. “Hey, are you okay? You look really pale.”
“I’m fine.” Logan’s voice was gruff. “Just tired, is all.” He gave his sister a tight smile. “I don’t suppose I can go and freshen up, can I?”
Maddie
nodded. “Oh, of course. We’ve got you in the guest room on the first floor. In the room next to ours.” Presley started to cry on her hip. Or was it Marley? Logan wasn’t completely certain. Whichever of his nephews it was, they were loud as hell. “The twins inherited Gray’s voice,” Maddie told him. “Neither one of them came with a volume control.” She turned her head to the side. “Gray, can you come and show Logan to his room? Presley needs a diaper change. He stinks.”
Gray walked into the hallway, holding Marley in one arm and a bottle of wine in the other. His face split into a smile when he saw Logan standing by the front door. “I didn’t realize you were here,” he said, passing the wine bottle to Becca and reaching to hug Logan with one arm. “Sorry, bro. Was topping up dad and Aunt Gina’s wine.” He glanced at Becca. “Dad’s fallen asleep three times already. Sis, you may regret agreeing to be their designated driver.”
“I always regret being the designated driver.” Becca sighed. “And yet somehow I always get suckered into it.”
Logan took another deep breath, trying to center himself. The hallway echoed with the chatter of his family as Maddie and Gray started talking about what time to put the twins to bed, and Becca, Tanner, and Van started to discuss the set up in Gray’s recording studio. Presley had stopped crying, and was now pulling at Marley’s shirt, as though trying to take it off.
This was home. This was real. This was his family. For the next two days, maybe he could ignore the ache that was pulling at his stomach, and pretend his meeting with Courtney hadn’t happened.
Gray and Maddie swapped babies, and Gray inclined his head at Logan. “Come with me,” he said, heading toward the bedrooms. Logan followed him, his overnight bag in his hands, biting down a smile at the way Presley was looking at him over Gray’s shoulder, his head bopping up and down as they walked down the hallway.
Gray and Maddie’s kids were cute. Two little blond bombshells who were certain to be heartbreakers one day.
For a second, Logan wondered what his and Courtney’s baby would look like. If it was a girl, would she have Courtney’s dark curls and piercing blue eyes? Or would she look like a Hartson, with hair that grew darker as she aged.
His stomach twisted again as reality washed over him. That baby would grow up either way. Go from an infant to a toddler, then a child who’d learn to call him ‘Dad’. Maybe they’d look at him the way he’d seen Marley and Presley look at Gray. As though he was the king of the goddamned world.
Or maybe they’d look at him the way he saw his dad. As a disappointment. Somebody who was never there for him.
As the person who always let them down.
“This is your room,” Gray said opening the door to the guest room. Like the rest of the house, it was huge, with an oversized divan and expensive bedspread, the walls a soft gray, with a darker, thick carpet.
Logan nodded. “Thanks, man. I’ll just take a shower then come out and say hi to everybody. You need any help with dinner?”
“That’d be great.” Gray gave him a smile. “I have a feeling bedtime’s gonna be a battle tonight. Pres and Marl have been going crazy all day with all the attention they’ve been getting. They’re going to hate having to sleep.” He lifted an eyebrow. “I’ll tell ya, nobody ever prepares you to be a parent. It’s harder than anything I’ve ever done.”
Logan’s mouth turned dry. Presley started to grumble, arching his back to try to get out of Gray’s hold.
“You okay, man?” Gray asked. “You just went white as a sheet. You sure you’re not coming down with something?”
Logan opened his mouth to say he was fine, then closed it again, because fine was so far away from what he was feeling right now.
He was terrified. Confused. And already feeling like he’d failed before he even began.
“No,” he said, his voice rough. “I’m not.” He lifted his gaze to Gray’s, taking in the concern etched on his brother’s face. “Can we talk about it later?”
“Take this.” Gray tossed him a bottle of beer, then pulled a cap off the other and took a long gulp. “Okay,” he said once he’d swallowed it down. “Spill. Who’s the lucky lady? Is it someone from the restaurant?”
The two of them were alone in the kitchen, loading the dishes into the huge stainless steel washer that wouldn’t look out of place in one of Logan’s restaurants. He’d helped Maddie and Gray design this kitchen, and had worked with his contacts in Boston to supply the best appliances money could buy. Maddie and Becca were bathing the twins before their bedtime, and Dad and Aunt Gina were in the living room, waiting for Becca to drive them home. Tanner and Van had left after dinner. They had a week before the holiday season began at the drive-in they owned, and they needed to work in the morning.
Logan’s brows knit together. “Why do you think it’s someone from the restaurant?” he asked.
Gray made a face at him. “Because you’re never anywhere else.”
“Yeah, well Courtney lives about a mile away from here.”
Gray blinked. “The mom’s from Hartson’s Creek?”
Logan nodded. “You know Creek Edge Farm? On Main?”
“Yeah, I know it.” His eyes widened in recognition.