“Just think about what you’re doing. For me. For Shaun. Think about Mom and Dad, too. We need you, Court. You’re the glue that keeps us ticking since we lost Shaun. And now we’re losing you, too.”
Her eyes widened as a sob escaped his lips. She’d never seen Carl cry before. Not even at Shaun’s funeral or anything else that happened during those awful months after. He’d been stoic. Strong. Someone to lean on.
Her own eyes teared up in sympathy. “You’re not losing me. We’ll always be friends. And I’ll still work here. I’ll see your mom and dad. It’ll be okay.”
He brought his head up, his eyes red as he looked at her. Her heart broke a little more. “Please don’t do this,” he said thickly.
“I want to.”
He raked his hands through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. A tiny tear escaped from them. “I should go.”
“Carl…”
He opened his eyes. “Fuck it.” He reached out for her hand. “You know what, Court? I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since the day Shaun brought you home. And I said nothing, because he’s my brother. I said nothing when you stood beside him at church on your wedding day, and I said nothing all those times I saw you crying whenever you thought nobody was looking. I hate myself for it now. I hate that I didn’t ask you what was wrong. That I didn’t tell you how I feel. If I had, maybe we’d be together right now.”
“It’s not your fault,” she whispered. “And we wouldn’t be together. But we’d still be friends.”
“That’s not enough. I don’t want to be your friend, I want to be your husband. I want to take care of you the way you should be. I want to protect you from douches like Logan Hartson, who’ll break your heart all over again.”
“That can’t happen,” she told him. “I’m not in love with you.” And it hurt to see the pain in his eyes.
“Can’t I love you enough for both of us? I’ll take care of you and the baby. Be a father to them. I’d treat him or her like my own. You know I would.”
She swallowed hard. “I know,” she whispered. “But the baby already has a father. And I’m in love with him.” Pain shot across his face like she’d stabbed him in the gut. “I’m so sorry.”
He stood, curling his fingers around his cap. “I should go.” He wouldn’t even meet her gaze.
She reached for him, but he pulled away. “Carl…”
He shook his head. It was enough for her to know that nothing she could say would make this better. A tear rolled down her cheek as she watched him walk to the door, his shoulders slumped, his head bowed.
She hated this. She hated seeing him hurt. Hated knowing that this family wou
ld always be fractured, and some of it was because of her.
Without a word, he pulled the door closed behind him. After less than a minute his engine started up, and the headlights swept across the window.
Her phone started to buzz. She picked it up, seeing Logan’s name on the screen. “Hello?”
“Hey. How are you doing?” His voice felt like a balm to her aching heart.
“I’m good,” she lied, forcing a smile to her lips even though he couldn’t see it. “How are you?”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Logan looked around the restaurant, his critical eye taking in every detail. One of the lamps over table eight was misaligned. He’d get the electrician to fix that today. And table thirty was sloping to the left. Not enough for most people to notice, but it might end up rocking – every restaurant eater’s nightmare – and food or drink could slide in the same direction. He’d ask the carpenter to check the legs.
But even with the snags that any new restaurant had, he had to admit it looked amazing. And it should. Six months of hard work had gone into it, after all.
The past few weeks since Christmas had been full on. He’d missed Courtney like crazy. Yeah, they talked every day, and chatted for hours but it wasn’t the same. Still, she’d be here tomorrow, along with the rest of his family to celebrate the opening. And in a couple of weeks he’d be flying back to Hartson’s Creek for her twenty week ultrasound. It would be their first opportunity to learn the sex of the baby if they wanted to, though they were still on the fence about that.
He wanted all their firsts. That’s why this kind of lifestyle wasn’t sustainable any more. As much as it gave him pangs to think about leaving all this behind, what choice did he have?
He wanted his family. He didn’t want to be the guy who wasn’t there when Courtney needed him. He didn’t want her to be escorted to the doctor by her best friend or ex-mother-in-law when it was his job to be there. It was crazy how he found himself jealous of an old lady who’d lost her son, just because she would be seeing his child on a screen.
A rap on the front door brought him out of his thoughts. Seeing Cam on the other side of the smoked glass, Logan grinned, walking over to unlatch the lock and let him in.
“This is a surprise,” he said, slapping his brother on the back to let him know it was a welcome one. “What are you doing here?”