“I don’t understand, Tair—”
“Ara died here. My wife—and my son. I held Zaki as he died, I held him and couldn’t save him, and I can’t do that again. I can’t. It would kill me and where would my people be?”
“Tair.”
“I thought I could protect you, Tally, but when you were taken from the garden, when they held you hostage I couldn’t do anything for you—”
“But you did, you found me, you rescued me.”
He shook his head. His dark eyes were shadowed with pain and suffering. “I was sure there’d be blood. I could see it all happening, what they could do to you. I was sure I would be too late.” His jaw tensed and he swallowed even as he reached out to lightly trace the curve of her cheekbone and then her upper lip that bowed. “You are too beautiful, Tally. I would rather live far from you and know you live, than have you here and know you suffer.”
“But I suffer when I’m away from you, Tair.”
His eyes narrowed. A small muscle pulled in his cheek. “Death is worse.”
“But away from you is death, too.”
He turned his head, looked away, thick black lashes fringing his eyes, concealing the sheen of tears. “It isn’t right to risk so much. It is selfish of me—”
“It’s selfish of you to send me away when I love you and want to be with you. It’s selfish of you to tell me I must be a coward and afraid. It’s not my nature to be fearful. It’s my nature to risk, and to want change.”
“Tally.” His voice broke.
“Tair, don’t fear for me. And don’t make decisions for me. I know the risks. I know what’s at stake but I’d rather have a month with you than a lifetime without.”
He reached up to shove hair back from his face. “That’s ridiculous,” he answered gruffly.
She leaned forward and reached out to catch the single tear on his lashes and wipe it away. “But romantic.”
“And foolish.”
“And exciting.”
“You’ll be the death of me,” he muttered, even as he turned to her and lifted her face between his hands. He studied her face for an endless moment, his dark gaze searching her eyes, searching for truth, searching for the answer that seemed to elude him.
“I like exciting, Tair,” she whispered.
The corner of his mouth reluctantly tugged. “You’re impossible.”
“But you like that, too.”
He bent his head, touched his mouth to her forehead and then her cheekbone and finally her mouth. “You’re beautiful.” His smile wasn’t entirely steady. “You’re exactly perfect, Tally.”
“You called me Tally.”
“I know. What was I thinking?”
She scooted toward him, practically climbing into his lap. “I don’t know. But just keep me, Tair. That’s all I ask. Keep me close to you.”
“I thought you were a wandering woman. Someone who couldn’t stay in one place long.”
She blinked hard, blinked to keep the tears from falling. He undid her. He, barbarian that he was, made her heart hurt and hope in ways she’d never thought possible. “That was before I met you.”
“You’re a changed woman, are you?”
“Mmmmm.”
“What’s that?”
She tried to avoid his searching gaze but he wasn’t letting her evade him. Tally sighed exasperatedly. “Maybe not that changed.”
“So why can you stay here with me?”
“Because you’re the ultimate challenge. You’re Mount Everest and the Amazon put together. How could I tire of you? I’ll never completely understand you but—” She broke off, took a quick, deep breath. “But I promise I’ll always try.”
Creases fanned from his eyes. His fierce features were inexplicably gentle, and the warmth in his eyes tangible. He stroked her cheekbone, and then the curve of her mouth, her soft pouting upper lip, the full lower lip and then down to her chin. “I love you. And I need you. I’m lost—” He broke off, struggled with the words, then forced himself to finish, “Without you. Come home.”
She moved the rest of the way into his arms. “I have.”