Eternal
Page 19
ALEC
“Ican’t thank you enough for taking the girls again. I really appreciate how flexible you’ve been with us. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
Mom beams at me and waves away my gratitude. “I am their grandmother. That’s what I’m here for. You two go out and have fun. You deserve it.”
“I’ll bring you back something to go.”
“That’ll be fine. Take as long as you need. All night, even.”
I roll my eyes. “Mom, don’t even start.”
She giggles and hustles the girls out the door. They, of course, put up quite a protest considering they have a new cat to play with, but they eventually leave. Tana is in the primary suite getting ready. My palms are suddenly sweaty, and my knees feel weak. It’s almost like our first date all over again.
I figured I’d keep it simple. I’m taking her to a restaurant near the beach with amazing food and a gigantic aquarium. We used to go there all the time, but it feels tonight is the first time. And in a way, it kind of is. I never thought I’d see the amnesia as a blessing in disguise, but I can’t deny I’m enjoying falling for my wife all over again.
Heels click softly against the floor, and I turn to find Tana stepping into the kitchen. She’s wearing a classic black dress with a deep V neckline. And that’s as far as I get because her tits look fantastic. I nearly swallow my own tongue looking at her. When the lump in my throat dissolves, I choke out, “Maybe we shouldn’t go out.”
Her lips quiver a little as she smiles. “What do you mean? Is something wrong?”
“The only thing wrong is that I’m not taking that dress off you right now.”
“Alec!” she squeaks out.
Grinning, I say, “Well, I promised I’d be honest. And the honest truth is all I want to do is take it off you.” She’s frozen in the doorway and there’s a moment of delicious tension where I almost give in, say fuck it, and take her to bed. But we both need to connect on more than the physical level. I want to take her out, treat her nice, and then I’ll bring her home and do dirty things to her. “But we’d better leave because I promised you a date.”
The newfound tension between us is electric on the short drive to the restaurant. I can’t stop staring at her legs. Or her tits, really. My eyes seem to ricochet from one to the other the whole drive there. We’re lucky we make it there in one piece.
We make small talk on the drive to the restaurant, but I don’t remember a damn word. We’re in line to be seated when a high-pitched squeal cuts through our little bubble. Tana instinctively moves closer to me, and I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her flush against my side as we turn.
Her head twists around to see where the noise comes from, and we see a sharply dressed older woman with vibrant red hair and a gigantic smile. Her teeth are so white and perfect that I do a double-take.
“Oh my God, Gary! I told you that was her. As I live and breathe, it’s Tana! From The Purple Cat!” The woman beelines for us and takes out her phone. “Can I get a selfie with you? My girlfriends won’t believe me when they learn I met the real Tana Dorran. We just love your stuff. Do you ever think you’ll open up the site again?”
Tana visibly freezes. Her expression goes blank. I immediately want to put her behind me, protect her. When I move to do so, she puts a hand on my arm. We share a look, and I back off.
She recovers quickly and gives the woman a sweet smile. “That’s so kind of you. I don’t have any plans to reopen in the immediate future. Unfortunately, I’m still dealing with health issues, as I’m sure you understand.”
The woman’s discerning eyes flicker to the pink scar on Tana’s forehead. “Bless your heart. In all my excitement, I totally forgot about your accident. I feel so silly.”
Tana gives her a gentle smile. “You don’t have to apologize. I’d be happy to take a picture with you if you want one.”
The woman brightens again. “I’d love that!” She pulls Tana close and hands me the camera to take a photo. Tana looks a little wary, but the woman seems satisfied when I snap a couple pictures of them.
“I’ll keep my eye out for your announcement when you want to open the store again. We all wear your stuff.”
“You have a good night now,” Tana says kindly without answering.
The woman’s husband gestures impatiently from where he stands by the hostess stand. A waitress leads the pair of them away, and I can feel Tana relax next to me.
“You okay?” I run a hand down her arm and intertwine her fingers with mine.
“Yeah, I’m fine. That just took me off guard. People have recognized me before, I assume because they’ve seen me around, but I haven’t been recognized because of the my like, social media presence. It’s strange. Did people really recognize me before like that?”
“Not often, but sometimes. Especially people around the area because it’s not a huge place.”
Our names are called, and we’re seated at a secluded booth near the aquarium. After the waitress takes our drink order, she watches the fish for a while. It hits me then—she’s nervous.
“Have you thought about what you want to do about the site?” I’ll admit I’ve been curious. It had been such a huge passion of hers before the accident.
She lifts a shoulder. “I don’t know what I plan to do, but I really just don’t have the desire to put my nose to the grindstone in a way that I know something like that would require. The thought of dealing with social media and customer service really exhausts me. I’m not even certain I have the mental capacity for it now. Would it upset you if I didn’t?”
I take her hand on the table. I can’t quite seem to stop touching her now. My heart gives a hopeful squeeze when she turns hers over to link her fingers with mine. “I’ll support you no matter what you do. I mean that. I always have”
Her eyes meet mine, and she doesn’t look away. “I’m starting to believe you.”
Warmth spears through me. Tana must recognize it in my gaze because her lips part and her chest flushes with heat. Then the waitress stops by with an old-fashioned for me and a mojito for Tana. We both drink deeply, although the bourbon does nothing to cool the surge of lust.
“Thank you for dinner. It was wonderful.”
I pull to a stop in the driveway and turn to her. Goddamn, but she’s beautiful. “You’re welcome.”
A breath shudders past her lips. “What now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Where do we go from here?”
I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips. “We go wherever you want to go.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she says.
“You let me worry about that. I’m a big boy; I can take care of my feelings. I’ve told you before that nothing has changed. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
“Because you’re committed to your wife.”
“Yes, that was why at first.”
Her eyes snap to mine. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, a part of me will always love who you used to be. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for who you are now. I’ve got plenty love for you to go around.”
Tears shine in Tana’s eyes. “But I feel like a completely different person. I don’t want to wear the kind of clothes she wore. I don’t want to be a social media influencer or care about fashion. I like yoga pants and T-shirts and working in the garden and helping Penny at the rescue. I’d rather dig in the dirt in the garden than get my nails done.”
“Yeah, what’s your point?”
“My point is, how can you love me if I’m nothing like her?”
“Because you are the one who took care of my babies when they were sick even though I know you would have rather been anywhere else. You’re the one who rescued a disabled stray cat instead of looking the other way. You’re the one who moans my name like I’ve given you the best orgasm of your life. You don’t have to be the woman you used to be for me to love you. I love you for you.”
I didn’t mean to say the words so soon, didn’t mean to play that card before she was ready, but there’s no taking them back. They’re true. At some point, my love for who she was and who she is now blurred. Now I can’t imagine living without this woman—in all her versions. Always.
“Alec,” she says through her tears.
I kiss the salt from her cheeks. “You don’t have to say it back now. Not until you’re ready. I’ve got all the time in the world to hear those words from you. All I ask is that when you say it, you don’t ever stop.”
She clears her throat and then nods. “Okay.”
“Okay. You gonna kiss me now, or do I have to beg?”
Laughing, she leans over the center console and kisses me. When she doesn’t pull away immediately, I deepen the kiss, parting her lips with my tongue and sinking my hands into her hair. I can’t get enough of tasting her… everywhere. When we part, she’s panting, her eyes are dilated, and her fingers grip my shirt collar.
“Can we go inside?” she asks.
I press my forehead against hers and try to get a handle on my impulses. “Sure. We can watch one of your true crime shows or something.”
She reaches up and touches my lips, then meets my eyes. “I don’t want to watch TV, Alec.”
It doesn’t take much to deduce what she wants instead. Groaning, I pull my hands back because I know if I keep touching her, I won’t be able to stop. “Hang on, I’ll get your door.”
I move before she can say anything and round the truck to open her door and help her down. She’s not fooled one bit. “Really?” Tana asks with a raised brow. “Do I need to get you drunk to put your hands on me again?”
The keys nearly slip to the concrete at my feet. “Tana…” I warn because my throat seizes. I move into the house and head to the kitchen, but I freeze when I see the kitchen island where I had her spread out in front of me, all pretty and pink.
I turn to move somewhere else, but she’s blocking my path. Gulping for air, I back hit the wall. Cornered. By a woman six inches shorter than me and probably half my weight. But I’m trying to be a good man for her, give her time and space. I’ve pushed her enough.
“What are you afraid of?” she asks and moves closer to me. “Don’t you want to kiss me again?”
I put my hands on her arms to stop her from moving closer. “Fuck, of course I do. But I want to do all the other things for you first. Take you out. Get to know you more. Give you time to get to know yourself and what you really want from life. You deserve to have so much, Tana, and I want to make sure you have everything.”
She cups my cheek with a hand, her eyes staring deep into mine. “There’s nothing you have to do to deserve me. I want you for who you are. Now take me to our bed, Alec. Please.”
I fight an internal battle for all of ten seconds—the longest ten seconds of my life—and then break underneath her heated gaze. I scoop her up into my arms with a groan, her surprised shriek ringing in my ears as I throw her over my shoulder in a fireman’s carry. With a firm smack on her ass, I say, “This is for ordering me around, woman.”
She shrieks again, but this time it’s punctuated with her laughter. “How do you know I don’t like it? What if I keep doing things because I want you to spank me more?”
I reach our bedroom and toss her onto the bed, where she lands in a sexy as hell sprawl, a feast in front of me. Something inside me unclenches at the sight of her back where she belongs. I know without a doubt this is where she’ll be spending every night from here on out if I have a say in the matter.
“Don’t tease me or I’ll have to redden that ass of yours to prove a point.”
She doesn’t even flinch. “Really?” In fact, if I’m not mistaken, the tone in her voice is excitement.
Groaning, I unbuckle my belt and set it down next to her on the bed. “You’re killing me, girl. I’m trying to be sweet with you for your first time.”
She rolls her eyes. “This isn’t my first time.”
“May as well be. Don’t you want it to be perfect?” I climb into bed beside her and stretch out. There’s no way in hell I’m going to rush this.
Tana unbuttons my shirt, her fingers tickling down my chest. By the time she reaches the bottom, my skin is on fire. When her eyes meet mine, so steady and sure, I’m trembling like it’s my first time instead of hers.
“It’s perfect because it’s with you,” she says, her voice breathy. Leaning forward, she presses her lips to the base of my throat. I shiver, full-body, and try to move away. “Don’t. Let me touch you.”
I roll to my back and put my hands behind my head. “All yours, sweet pea. Show me what you want.”
She pushes up on one hand. “Really?” Nibbling on her lower lip, she admits, “I don’t know where to start.” The contradiction of shyness and desire is driving me crazy. It fucks with my mind a little because Tana had been aggressive as hell before the accident, always the initiator and very upfront about what she wanted. Don’t get me wrong. It’s hot as hell, and I’ve always loved that she had no problem showing me she wants me, but damn if I don’t love having to coax it out of her now, too.
If nothing else, the accident has shown me all the different ways I can love my wife. If it all works out, I’ll have a lifetime to discover a thousand more.
I work around the lump in my throat. “Tell me all the places you want to start, and I’ll help you out.”
Her lips twist. “Sounds like you got the short end of the stick.”
“That’s for later, darlin’. And there’s nothing short about my stick.”
Laughing, she sits up on her knees by my side, dips a finger under my shirt, and says, “Take your shirt off first. Let me get a better look at you.”
I shrug out of my shirt and lay back on the bed. She sucks a lip between her teeth and lays a hand on my lower stomach, making the muscles twitch. Fire spreads from her fingertips. “This what you want?” I ask.
She watches her hands spread over my stomach and chest, and I realize my mistake. I’m going to die before she’s done. Her fingertips trace the lines of my abs, up to my chest, circle around my nipples, and drag down my shoulders and arms. She reverses direction, her hands ending at the waistband of my jeans. Without answering my questions, she says, “Pants now.”
“Go for it,” I choke out. Pretty sure my hands would be shaking so much that I wouldn’t be able to undo a fucking button.
She worries that lip between her teeth again as she undoes the button and zipper. I lift my hips as she pulls my jeans down my thighs. My briefs are melded to every inch of me, so I may as well be spread out naked in front of her. I don’t think I’ve ever been so fucking happy in my life.
“What are you smiling for?” she asks, sitting back on her heels.
I reach up and palm her neck, wanting to bring her close to me, touch her everywhere, but I know I need to let her go at her own pace. “Didn’t think I’d ever get to do this again. Have you back in my bed. Got a lot to smile for right now. Especially with your hands on me.”
“It’s not weird for you?” she asks and pulls back, putting her hands in her lap.
“Nothing with you could ever feel wrong, sweet pea,” I say and bring a hand to my lips, pressing a kiss to her palm. “Now come here and kiss me again. I want that mouth.”
The leash she’s had on her self-control snaps. She dives for me, and we tangle, lips and limbs.
Everything.