Eternal

ALEC

“How weird is it to be with her?” Jax asks, lifting a half-empty beer to his lips. Walker elbows him in the ribs, but Jax persists. “No, really. Is it like being with a stranger? Or like being with your wife like normal? It’s gotta be freaky, dude. In more ways than one.”

I roll my eyes at Jax, not rising to his taunts. As the rookie of the group and the resident playboy, Jax is always the one with the snarky ass comment. “Not as weird as half the shit you’re into, I’m sure,” I say, leveling him with a look. “It’s a birthday party, dude. Try to keep it PG.” I glance at Walker, who grins back and helps redirect Jax to the refreshments table.

Shaking my head, I return to the grill I’m manning and dutifully flip hotdogs and hamburgers. Around me, a gaggle of neighborhood kids and the girls’ classmates screech and dart from the gigantic bounce house to a collection of sprinklers and water toys. A rainbow of balloons dances in the background, several already deflating in the Florida heat. The scent of grass, sizzling meat, and sweaty kids hangs in the air.

Tana flits from the table to the kitchen and back again, her face flushed with too much sun and exertion. I’m not entirely sure when she got up this morning, but my internal alarm woke me up at six. She already had two trays of cupcakes cooling on the counter. The whole interior was decorated with balloons, streamers, confetti, and God only knows what else. By the time our driveway began filling with cars, she’d also hung dangling lights, arranged tables in the backyard for presents, prepared a veritable feast of every dessert imaginable, and still looked sweet as hell in a summer sundress that swished around her tantalizing legs.

I curse as the hot dogs begin to burn and quickly remove them to a serving tray before they’re completely charred. Kids are screaming, the backyard will be a disaster zone, and the girls will probably be up for the next month based on the amount of sugar they’ve consumed alone but damn if I’m not content for the first time in what feels like weeks.

“What are you smiling for?” Remy asks as he divests himself of an outrageously sized birthday gift bag. He grabs a beer from the adult section of the beverage station, pops the top, and drinks deeply.

“Got a lot to be thankful for today, man. Glad you could make it.”

“Well, little squirt made me promise I’d come and give her shooting lessons.”

I glance up from the grill. “Don’t tell me that’s a gun in there, man.”

At this, Remy cracks an uncharacteristic smile. “Fine, I won’t tell you.”

“Jesus Christ, Rem.”

“It’s just a BB gun. She can’t do much damage with it yet. Didn’t you get one when you turned ten or eleven too?”

I hold my tongue because if Tana hears me say something about gender, I know I’ll get a lecture about women being as capable as men—that at least hadn’t changed after the accident.

“Whatever, just keep it away from her until all these potential victims leave the scene.”

We fall into a comfortable silence for a while, punctuated by the sound of the doorbell ringing occasionally and doors slamming. Remy sticks to the corner near the grill, a shoulder leaned against the deck railing observing the going’s on without joining.

“You hear Lettie’s back?” he asks without looking at me.

I glance up sharply. “You’re shitting me,” I say, dumbstruck.

“No less than five people stopped me on the way here from the front yard to tell me.”

“She here to see her mom?” I let the question hang off. From the stiff set of his shoulders, I deduce Lettie Samuels didn’t return to Battleboro for a friendly visit.

Remy’s frown deepens. “She’s moving back. Been here a couple weeks. I guess making it big on Broadway didn’t work out for her.”

In a town like Battleboro, Colette Samuels, former Miss Florida returning with her tail between her legs, may have been front-page news. The fact that she and Remy got along like oil and water explains why Remy looks like he swallowed a porcupine.

“That’s crazy,” I say as I plate up the rest of the hamburgers. Tana comes to take them from me and gives me a heated look over the trays.

“It is what it is,” Remy says and lifts a shoulder. “As long as she sticks to her side of town and me to mine, we won’t have a problem.”

I seriously doubted that. Eight years ago, Remy’s dad married Lettie’s mother. Lettie and Remy fought more often than not, and it was a coin toss as to who was the bigger bully. Remy may be the size of a tanker and intimidating, but Lettie is half Italian and hot-headed to boot. They spent part of the time living together in vicious confrontations and the rest trying not to tear each other’s clothes off. During Lettie’s senior year of high school, everything came to a head when their house caught fire. Lettie made it out. Remy’s dad didn’t.

Things between them were never the same, and Remy never forgave her.

“I’m sure she’s changed.”

“It doesn’t fucking matter. She'll steer clear of me if she knows what’s good for her.”

“Excuse me,” Tana says, worry knitting her brow. “Have you seen Paisley anywhere? I can’t find her, and it’s time to eat. Can you help me look for her?”

Remy nods to me. “You go. I’ll clean up around here.”

“Thanks.” To Tana, I say, “She has to be around here somewhere. There’s no way that girl would miss out on cake.”

“Of course,” Tana answers, but her frown is pronounced, and there’s sweat on her brow. The first ribbons of unease tangle in my stomach.

We look in the bounce house first, but we only find Gemma and a couple of their friends. With a quick word to my mom to keep an eye on Gemma, we go through the house room by room, calling Paisley’s name. But she’s not in any of them.

“When’s the last time you saw her?” I ask Tana when we’ve exhausted all the rooms in the house. I shove a hand through my hair and spin in a tight circle. There’s no one around but a couple parents sneaking foul-smelling cigarettes in the front yard. The excited shrieks from the children in the backyard sound light-years away, and the blistering summer sun bakes my skin, making me feel itchy and tight all over.

“I swear she was just here. I thought she went inside to go to the bathroom.” Tana’s voice is frantic, and she twists her hands together. She’s trying to stay calm and composed, but her mouth quivers.

“She has to be here somewhere,” I say, more to reassure myself. “Let’s split up. She can’t have gone far.”

Several other parents have noticed the unease in the air. I hear a couple of them dividing up, some to stay with the kids and distribute cake to keep them distracted, and the others peel off in cars to cruise the nearby streets. I see Jax, Walker, Zeke, and Remy take to the sidewalk to go door to door, but I can’t make myself move for fear that she’ll come back and I won’t be here when she does.

Please be okay.

The thought of losing someone else… it’s unfathomable. I only just got Tana back. Losing one of my girls… I can’t even contemplate it.

“Daddy?” comes Gemma’s voice. “Daddy, what’s wrong? Where’s Paisley?”

I turn to find Gemma in her Little Mermaid swimsuit, soaked and still dripping from the sprinklers. She’s holding a juice in one hand and a balloon on a string in another. I choke back a sob and get on my knees in front of her. “She’ll be right back. Why don’t you go and get some cake while we wait?”

Gemma, who normally won’t turn down a dessert, frowns at me. “But we didn’t sing Happy Birthday to her.”

“It’s okay. She won’t mind if you have some.”

“No, I’m not having cake without Paisley.” A tired whine colors her voice. “Tell her to hurry up.”

“Okay, baby, okay. Go to the backyard and wait for her. I’ll tell her to hurry up.” She hesitates for a moment and then does what I say.

My head droops, and I order myself to pull it together. Shoving to my feet, I grit my teeth and try to think. Paisley may be stubborn and emotional, but she would never wander off, especially not during her birthday. Not without good reason after what happened to Tana. There has to be something I’m missing.

It’s then I hear her raised voice. My heart clenches in relief, but she isn’t shouting with joy. She’s screaming.

I bolt toward her shouts, flying past Jax and Walker. I ignore Tana’s concerned face and vault over a locked fence gate.

“This is his fault! If it weren’t for him, I’d still have my mother!”

The words don’t make sense until I round the corner of the brick house, veering around a broken-down lawn mower and wading through knee-high grass to find Paisley being held back by Angela. Leon cowers in front of her, stone-faced and shirtless, his shoulders blistering in the sun.

“If you weren’t a bunch of drunks, your son wouldn’t have hit my mom and killed her. She’s dead! If you were a better father, I’d still have a mom, and your son would still be alive!” I hear my words regurgitate from her tight lips, and my stomach rolls.

Paisley is a torrent of rage. Her translucent skin is reddened with anger, and her pretty curls are falling out of the elaborate updo she begged for this morning. Her bathing suit cover-up is dangling off one shoulder, and she’s not wearing any shoes. She’s still clutching a balloon in one hand, but she doesn’t seem to notice.

“Paisley,” I grind out. She doesn’t seem to hear me at first. She finally turns to me, tears streaming down her freckled cheeks, when I put a hand on her thin, shaking shoulder. “Paisley, honey.”

She throws herself at my side, her sobs wracking her entire body against me. “It’s his fault. It is! If he wasn’t such a bad dad, his son wouldn’t have been drinking and driving.” She gasps through a violent bout of hiccups. “He wouldn’t have hit Mom, and she would still be here, and I wouldn’t feel so alone all the time.”

If she’d shoved me into a speeding semi, I would have been less stunned. “Paisley,” I croak out.

“I think you should go,” his daughter says quietly.

Knowing I need to remove Paisley from this shitshow, I pull her up into my arms and turn my back on them. I’ll deal with them later. The first thing I see is Tana’s stricken expression.

Fuck.

“I want to go home,” Paisley says through her tears.

I send Tana a begging look, and she quietly steps out of my way so we can move by.

Within twenty minutes, the birthday party is shut down. Most of the cars are gone, and all that’s left are the garbage bags full of used plates and sticky cups, drunkenly hanging streamers, and stacks of unopened presents piled in the laundry room. Mom distracted Gemma in the backyard with water balloons, bless her.

The moment we got home, Paisley ripped herself from my arms, ran to her room, and slammed the door behind her. She’s been here ever since. I wanted to give her time to cool down, so I let her be until everyone else left.

When the door closes behind the last person, I turn and rest against it. Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I call the girls’ therapist’s emergency line and request an appointment as soon as possible. I’m doing my best to help them navigate everything, but let’s be honest, we all need professional help sometimes. And I’m pretty certain this situation warrants professional help. Because God knows I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

Tana is waiting in the kitchen, washing the same spot on the kitchen counter she’s been washing since the last time I checked on her.

“How is she?” Tana asks, clutching and twisting the dishrag in both hands.

“I’m about to go check on her. How are you?”

She gnaws on her lip and then says, “I’m alright. I think it’s probably best if I give you two a little time. I’ve already called Penny. The one who helped me with the cat. She’s going to let me stay at her place for a few days. Give Paisley some space to breathe.”

“Tana,” my voice goes out. I clear my throat and try again. “You don’t have to do that. Stay. Everything will be fine.”

She shakes her head, and I can tell by the stubborn set of her chin that she’s already made up her mind. “I’ve been so focused on me I didn’t even think of these girls, Alec. They’re what’s important here. You know that. Paisley has had problems from the beginning. She needs you now, I think.”

The radio squawks, and my phone alert goes off at the same time. “Attention. I need you to respond to First Baptist on Second Street for a structure fire.”

Tana’s face goes blank, and I grit my teeth before picking up the radio to respond to the call. “This is Battleboro 8. I’ll be en route with Tanker 2.” The last thing I want to do is leave Tana now with everything feeling unresolved, but we live the closest to the church, and if the feeling in my gut is any indication, it may be the second arson case our small town has ever seen. “I’ve gotta go, but I want you here when I get back.”

“Go. We’ll work everything out later. I’ll have your mom stay with the girls.”

“Just…” I shove a hand through my hair. “Don’t make any rash decisions. Stay with Penny if you need to but let me deal with Paisley and work this out. Please.”

“You should go,” she says.

“I’ll come for you when I’m done with this, and the girls are okay.”

She doesn’t say anything, but she hugs me fiercely. It’ll have to be enough for now.