Chapter Twenty-two
***Autumn***
ItossedandI turned for what felt like hours but was only about half an hour. I was going crazy. I couldn’t date three men at once. That was too wild. I especially couldn’t sleep with all three of them, which is what dating them would be. I was a modern woman, and I didn’t believe in slut-shaming, but sleeping with three brothers at once had to be crossing some kind of line. There was no way.
I was thirty. I was single. I was not getting any other dating prospects. Why shouldn’t I do it? That was the devil on my shoulder, urging me to have more mind-blowing orgasms with the Phoenix brothers. The devil didn’t care about what was right or wrong. Orgasms, that was the business the devil was interested in. How many could I have and how good could they be? The devil reminded me of my vibrator being stored in my kitchen drawer, sad and dusty.
Who the hell did I think I was, though? Griff had been married to a supermodel. Sure, she was worse than the devil himself, but still. Did I really think I could just march in and be sexually interesting to men who dated supermodels? I’d seen the proof, though. I’d had the proof leaking out of me multiple times.
Then, there were the kids. What if they found out their nanny was sleeping with their dads? That would probably be traumatizing. Although, I was pretty sure they were all going to need therapy anyway. I was pretty sure I was going to need therapy after coming into contact with Stacy. What if they found out, though?
I grumbled and groaned, twisting my sheets into a knot around me. How could those idiots just spring that on me? Like it was fucking normal to simultaneously date the same woman as your brothers? They were so calm about it. Had they been drunk? Had they been high? How else could they so calmly take a verbal lashing like I’d given them and then just casually mention dating? Maybe they were insane.
Giving in to the fact that I wasn’t going to be getting any sleep, I stood up and pulled on a shirt to wander around the house. I didn’t set out to find the guys, but halfway through my walk, I knew I was hoping to. I made myself walk around the second floor and then all through the rest of the house before I came near Griff’s office.
When I got to the door, I could hear the three of them inside, talking still. I gently knocked on the door and edged my way inside, embarrassed and confused.
Con was sitting closest to the door and he made the first move to stand up and come over to me. “What’s up, Autumn?”
I pouted. “I can’t sleep. These three guys I work for sprung something big on me, and I can’t stop thinking about it.”
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. “Those monsters.”
Burying my head in his chest felt good, too good. It reminded me of another time when I’d needed him and he hadn’t been there because he’d been off, getting married. That was a long time ago, though. I knew I had to let it go.
He walked me over to the couch and pulled me down on his lap. “Talk to us, Auti.”
Zeke settled next to us and pulled my feet over his lap, gently rubbing them. “Are you consumed with thoughts of how to tell my brothers that you’ve already sampled these goods and have made up your mind on me?”
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “I’m confused by the morality of this.”
Griff came over and sat on the coffee table in front of us. “The morality of it? You’re dating to see who you like better, Autumn. There’s nothing immoral about that.”
I bit my lip. “And when dating turns into something more?”
“Something more?”
I shifted uncomfortably and stared down at my lap. “When dates turn into sex.”
Con wrapped his arms around my waist and stroked the bare skin of my upper thigh. “As long as we’re all consenting, there’s nothing wrong with it. We’re all adults; we’re all being safe. Nothing immoral about it.”
Zeke cleared his throat. “Um. Not all the way safe.”
I slapped my hands over my face. “This is so embarrassing. I wasn’t just letting you do…that…without a thought. I can’t have kids. Although, I should’ve thought about STIs, I didn’t. I just assumed you’d be clean if you were willing to have unprotected sex with me. Which was stupid. Oh, god. If either of you gave me something, I’ll murder you.”
Griff growled. “Nothing from me. I’m clean.”
Zeke shook his head. “Same.”
Con had gone still under me. “You two fucking idiots. You really had unprotected sex without talking about it with her?”
Zeke groaned. “You had to be there. It was intense.”
“Same.”
I shook my head hard and let out a helpless squeak. “This is weird! Right? Am I the only one sitting here, thinking about how weird it is that the three of you are having this conversation about me? Me. One woman. One average me.”
Griff leaned forward and caught my chin. “You are far from average. And honestly, it doesn’t feel weird. I don’t know why the fuck not, because it should be. It’s just not, though. I don’t love the idea of sharing you, but if I have to, these assholes are the only other men I’d trust you with.”
“He’s right.” Con kissed the side of my head and sighed. “I trust my brothers to be good to you. And to be deserving of you if you decide at the end of the summer you like one of them better.”
I shifted off of his lap and stood by the end of the couch, watching the three of them. They were all so handsome, and they’d all already stolen little pieces of me, but that was as much as I could give. I’d tried to be with one of them before, and it had nearly destroyed me. Entirely.
“And what if, by the end of the summer, I don’t want any of you?” It was almost comical how pathetic I sounded. I didn’t even believe the idea myself, even though it was what I was telling myself was necessary.
Griff smirked. “Not want any of us?”
I put my hands on my hips and frowned. “It could happen.”
Con just smiled. “If by the end of the summer you decide you don’t want any of us, you just leave. End of story.”
“But I think we all know you’ll be hitching a ride with me come the end of the summer.” Zeke shrugged. “I’m the real keeper here.”
“I don’t have the best experience with men. Chances are, I’ll leave by myself.” I looked them over, at the intensity in their eyes, and sighed. “It’s really not striking any of you that this makes me a…loose…woman?”
“Far from loose, baby.”
I glared at Zeke. “You’ll be lucky if I don’t avoid you for the rest of the summer at this rate.”
Con punched his brother and leaned forward. “There’s nothing wrong with a woman taking what she wants, when she wants it, Autumn.”
Griff reached out and caught my hand, using it to drag me into him. “You’re basically a mouthy angel, Autumn. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
“A mouthy angel? Really?”
He played with the hem of my shirt and nodded. “Super fucking mouthy.”
I pushed him away and put space between us again. “If I agree to this, there are going to be rules.”
“Rules?”
“Rules.” I ran my hands through my hair and tugged at it while I thought. “If we’re dating, it has to be normal dating. No millionaire bullshit.”
“Billionaire, technically.” Zeke laughed. “What does that mean, exactly?”
“It means no renting out an aquarium to get me alone.” I flashed a look at Griff. “And no expensive shit. Just normal dating, like normal people.”
Griff scowled. “We have the money. We should be able to spend it as we see fit.”
“With any other woman, you go right ahead. With me, though, there’s going to be a spending limit.” I bit my lip as I thought about it. “No more than twenty dollars a date.”
Zeke stood up, shaking his head. “No way. You can’t even get a good meal for that.”
“Then don’t take me out to eat.”
“Is this your way of keeping us from dating you?” Griff was all sour looks and huffs. “That’s cheating.”
I shook my head. “It’s my way of making you think outside the box. Plus, I don’t want the money. I’ve done the dating-a-rich-guy thing. It didn’t go well.”
Con cleared his throat and met my gaze. “I’m in.”
“And we don’t tell the kids.” I watched as they started to complain, but I shook my head. “I don’t want them thinking anything other than that I’m their nanny. I’m sure things are confusing enough for Caroline and Jones without thinking I’m just around for their dad.”
Zeke shrugged. “Fine.”
“And you three figure out how you’re going to work this out. I’m only one woman, and I’m busy. I don’t have time to book each of you in. Figure that shit out yourselves.”
Griff stood up and tugged me into a hug. “You’re seriously a massive pain in the ass. You understand that, right?”
I grinned up at him. “I’ve heard it a time or two.”
“I’m in, too.” He slipped his hand down and stroked the spot on my ass that was still tender from his spank earlier. “So in.”
I pushed away from him and backed towards the door. “Don’t make me regret this.”
Con pushed past his brothers and gently grasped the back of my neck. “I’ll walk you to your room.”
I laughed at the sound of Zeke and Griff fussing but let Con lead me out of the room and back upstairs. “I think you just became their least favorite.”
“They’ll live.”
I stopped at my door and looked up at him. “Here we are again, I guess.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know if we should start over fresh or if I want to hold onto some of those past times we had.”
“I’m not sure we could start fresh.” I took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “But I’m willing to try this.”
“The odds aren’t in my favor, are they?”
I smiled. “I don’t know. It’s hard. When I think about the past, I still want to punch you, but when you kissed me, it all felt like it could be worth a shot.”
His face changed into something brighter, lighter. Taking my face in his hands, he leaned in and kissed me. Con kissed with his soul, putting everything he felt into it. I could taste his desire for me, his need for another chance. And the thing he’d always done, lightly capturing my upper lip and slowly letting it pull between his teeth before letting go. It was a sexy edge to a gentle man.
I kissed him back, clutching at his shirt and fighting the urge to rub myself against him. Finally, I pulled back, breathing heavily and bracing myself with a hand against his chest. “Okay. Yeah. There’s that.”
“Let me in, Auti.”
I grinned suddenly, feeling like a fresh-faced nineteen-year-old again. “I’m just oh so tired, Con. I think I’ll just go in and slip into something more comfortable before getting into my big bed, all alone.”
He dropped his head back and groaned. “Okay. Okay, that’s fine. I remember this dance fondly. Go ahead and tease me. It makes finally taking you all the sweeter.”
I backed away and looked him over. Red lips from our kiss, tented pants, and white knuckles. He was still as eager for me as he’d ever been. That wasn’t hard to see and believe. I wanted to invite him in and see if we still fit together perfectly, but it was late, and I knew Grace would be crawling into my bed before the sun was fully up.
“See you tomorrow, Connie.”
“Dammit, Autumn.” He’d always hated when I called him that. Which just encouraged me.
I slipped into my room and finger waved him away before shutting the door and locking it.