Chapter Thirty-six
***Autumn***
Pregnant.Iwasfucking pregnant. The shock and wonder that I felt was overwhelming. After taking ten more tests that I forced Granny Lane to go out and buy, I’d scheduled an appointment with my doctor, and that test had come back positive, too. I was pregnant. When I’d demanded my doctor explain how it was possible, she’d calmly and kindly explained to me that the doctor who’d seen me when I was nineteen must’ve been mistaken. After performing an exam on me, she informed me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. She even suggested I file a formal complaint against the other doctor.
I couldn’t think of any of that, though. All that mattered was that I was pregnant. I was terrified, of course. The idea of making it so far and losing the baby being something that could happen again was in the front of my mind, and I found myself even walking gentler, like that would make a difference. I was at the mercy of fate. At least, it felt that way.
Being pregnant changed things. I wasn’t just the slutty nanny who stole Stacy Laray’s husband and ruined her family anymore. I was the slutty nanny who stole Stacy Laray’s husband and ruined her family and then got knocked up. Or something like that. I got angry again. I searched through all the articles written about me and the news stories that were so full of bullshit that it was sick.
I went through my messages and replied to the ones from friends checking on me and deleted the hateful ones from people I didn’t even know. I spent a few hours writing out a comment to give to the journalists that had gotten my number and I sent it off. Angry, pregnant, and in debt to a crazy old woman for twenty million, I felt no qualms about standing up for myself.
That intuition paid off when Granny Lane came in and high-fived me an hour later. “You did the damn thing.”
Mom was right behind her. “My baby. I’m so proud of you!”
Reading from an article, Granny Lane beamed. “They said you’re bold and brave!”
“You were so right, honey. You should be able to love whoever you want to love, as long as all parties are consenting. And the fact that you were outed in an act of revenge porn and then torn down for what you do in your private life, it’s bullshit!” Mom hugged me and placed her hand on my belly. “This little baby is going to be so loved and cared for.”
I bit my lip and nodded. “I need to call them now.”
Of course, instead of leaving, both women settled on the bed next to me. They didn’t even pretend to not be listening when I dialed and held the phone up to my ear.
Griff answered on the first ring. “Autumn? You okay, sweetheart?”
My heart felt like it skipped a beat at the sound of his voice. “Um, yeah, I’m okay. I just… I need to call and say that I planned an entire day at the beach for the kids for the Fourth and I think I should be there for it.”
Clearly caught off guard, Griff stammered. “The Fourth? Yeah, okay.”
“I mean, I planned cakes. Do you think you can bake the cakes? Have you learned how to while I was gone? Greta won’t do it, Griff. She’s not into dessert. Also, I organized matching outfits for the dogs. Do you know where they are? I could tell you, but you’re not good at finding things.”
He was quiet for a minute and then he growled. “You’re infuriating. Come home, woman. Say this to my face.”
“Tell the kids I’ll see them on the morning of the Fourth.” I hung up before he could say anything else and then flopped back in the bed. “I love that idiot.”
Granny Lane cheered. “I knew it!”
Mom looked at me with tears in her eyes. “I can’t wait to meet them.”
“Come with me. We’ll spend the Fourth with them. If they can survive a day with you two, that’ll prove their worth.”
“Your mouth is too much.” Granny Lane rolled her eyes and walked to the bedroom door, doing a little dance the whole way. “I’m going to tell those hunks that they’re sending me to Sandals, all-inclusive. For drinks and men.”
“Mom! You’re not going to Sandals.”
“Wanna bet?” Pulling up her shirt and flashing us, she cackled. “I’m going to earn all the beads!”
I bit back a laugh as Mom followed after her own mother.
“That’s not even right, Mom. You’re all confused. And that’s why I’m not letting you travel. Alone.”
Their cheers from the living room about traveling together were adorable, but I had things to plan. I wanted the Fourth to be amazing for the kids. Like the way Dad had made it amazing for me growing up.
I rested my hand over my stomach and tried to stay calm. I had a few days until I’d see the guys again. I needed to gather my wits and figure out how I was going to tell them I was with child, especially after telling them that I couldn’t get pregnant. I was nervous about their response. I knew how I felt and how I thought they felt, but I still wasn’t sure. Maybe the media response had scared them away from wanting to be with me.
I hadn’t gotten that impression from Griff, though. I could hear the desperation in his voice. I wanted to make that all better. I wanted to make everything all better. That included my own hang-ups. So, reaching out to the therapist I’d seen for years when I was younger, I made an appointment.
Waiting was hard. I grew more and more nervous the closer the moment came to seeing them. My morning sickness didn’t let up, and I was so tired. The morning of the Fourth, none of that mattered, though. I got dressed in a bikini with a pair of ripped-up jeans shorts and an oversized T-shirt over it. I did my hair and applied a little makeup to the bags under my eyes, and then I waited on Mom and Granny Lane to finish getting ready.
Finally, after what felt like forever, we were in the car, driving towards Southampton. With my heart in my throat, I figured it all rode on that day. I’d see how the guys reacted to me, my family, and then, the news of the baby. I’d see where I stood with them.
I had to stop on the way to throw up on the side of the road, but I wasn’t sure if that was the nerves or the baby. Either way, Granny Lane shoved a bottle of mouthwash at me and told me no one was going to give me twenty million with vomit mouth.