When the pies were gone, Travis’s brothers began to clear the table and the twins manned the sink.
“I’ll do that,” I said, standing.
Jim shook his head. “No you don’t. The boys can take care of it. You just take Travis to the couch and relax. You’ve worked hard, sis.”
The twins splashed each other with dishwater and Trenton cussed when he slipped on a puddle and dropped a plate. Thomas chastised his brothers, getting the broom and dustpan to sweep up the glass. Jim patted his sons on the shoulders and then hugged me before retreating to his room for the night.
Travis pulled my legs onto his lap and slipped off my shoes, massaging the soles of my feet with his thumbs. I leaned my head back and sighed.
“This was the best Thanksgiving we’ve had since Mom died.”
I pulled my head up to see his expression. He was smiling, but it was tinged with sadness.
“I’m glad I was here to see it.”
Travis’s expression changed and I braced myself for what he was about to say. My heart pounded against my chest, hoping he would ask me back so I could say yes. Las Vegas seemed like a lifetime ago, sitting in the home of my new family.
“I’m different. I don’t know what happened to me in Vegas. That wasn’t me. I was thinking about everything we could buy with that money, and that was all I was thinking about. I didn’t see how much it hurt you for me to want to take you back there, but deep down, I think I knew. I deserved for you to leave me. I deserved all the sleep I lost and the pain I’ve felt. I needed all that to realize how much I need you and what I’m willing to do to keep you in my life.”
I chewed on my lip, impatient to get to the part where I said yes. I wanted him to take me back to the apartment and spend the rest of the night celebrating. I couldn’t wait to relax on the new couch with Toto, watching movies and laughing like we used to.
“You said you’re done with me, and I accept that. I’m a different person since I met you. I’ve changed… for the better. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to do right by you. We were friends first, and I can’t lose you, Pigeon. I will always love you, but if I can’t make you happy, it doesn’t make much sense for me to try to get you back. I can’t imagine being with anyone else, but I’ll be happy as long as we’re friends.”
“You want to be friends?” I asked, the words burning in my mouth.
“I want you to be happy. Whatever that takes.”
My insides wrenched at his words, and I was surprised at the overpowering pain I felt. He was giving me an out, and it was exactly when I didn’t want it. I could have told him that I had changed my mind and he would take back everything he’d just said, but I knew that it wasn’t fair to either of us to hold on just when he had let go.
I smiled to fight the tears. “Fifty bucks says you’ll be thanking me for this when you meet your future wife.”
Travis’s eyebrows pulled together as his face fell. “That’s an easy bet. The only woman I’d ever wanna marry just broke my heart.”
I couldn’t fake a smile after that. I wiped my eyes and then stood up. “I think it’s time you took me home.”
“C’mon, Pigeon. I’m sorry, that wasn’t funny.”
“It’s not that, Trav. I’m just tired, and I’m ready to go home.”
He sucked in a breath and nodded, standing up. I hugged his brothers goodbye, and asked Trenton to say goodbye to Jim for me. Travis stood at the door with our bags as they all agreed to come home for Christmas, and I held my smile long enough to get out the door.
When Travis walked me to Morgan, his face was still sad, but the torment was gone. The weekend wasn’t a stunt to get me back after all. It was closure.
He leaned over to kiss my cheek and held the door open for me, watching as I walked inside. “Thanks for today. You don’t know how happy you made my family.”
I stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “You’re going to tell them tomorrow, aren’t you?”
He looked out to the parking lot and then at me. “I’m pretty sure they already know. You’re not the only one with a poker face, Pidge.”
I stared at him, stunned, and for the first time since I’d met him, he walked away from me without looking back.
Chapter Eighteen
THE BOX
Finals were a curse for everyone but me. I kept busy, studying with Kara and America in my room and at the library. I only saw Travis in passing when the schedules changed for tests. I went home with America for
winter break, thankful that Shepley had stayed with Travis so I wouldn’t suffer their constant displays of affection.