There is no denying Gavin is gorgeous. Even more than the last time I saw him. Time has treated him kindly. Wish I could say the same for myself.
Seeing him today has stirred up so many festering emotions, bringing them to the surface. Pain and hurt I thought no longer existed or held me hostage. But the second I heard his voice; it was as if my prince returned and kissed his sleeping princess. My body stirred back to life and my heart resumed its rhythm. Hope flickered for the briefest moment for the first time in years.
But I shut that shit down. Reminding myself what he had done thirteen years earlier. Reminding myself how I felt after what he did thirteen y
ears ago. And there is no way in hell I plan to relive that anytime soon.
Minutes ago, he and his agent strolled out and left Erin and me to clean up in awkward silence. But not before he managed to make things a little more confusing between us. He doesn’t need to say or do much, just his presence put me on edge. Being close to him wasn’t always like this. There wasn’t always this looming tension hovering over us. But now, how can there not be?
I have this inkling to explain myself to Erin. To share fragments of my past to help her understand my behavior today. The way I acted when he came in the room is out of character for me. On more than one occasion, Erin stared at me with shock in her eyes. I maintained my expert smile and kept my voice as neutral as possible. But the tension could be cut with a knife.
But I keep my cards close. If Erin broaches the subject, I will spill my heart out to her. Until she asks, though, I won’t say a word. Until she asks, I will process it all and devise a plan on how to work with him for a week. Gavin is just one of those topics I hate bringing up.
As if she can hear my thoughts.
“So… what was up with all that?” She gestures to the doors, waving her hand aimlessly.
“What do you mean?” I play coy.
She freezes and glares at me as if to say you’re shitting me, right? Silence stretches between the two of us for minutes—her glaring at me, me ignoring her penetrating gaze. A game of cat and mouse. But the longer we stand here, the more I come to realize she is not caving until I answer. Damnit.
“Ugh. Gavin and I knew each other in high school,” I mutter.
“And…” She draws out the single syllable and leaves it hanging like bait on a hook. She is relentless and won’t give in until I hand her more information. Only I don’t know how much information I want to give up. Not that I am scared to share history with my close friends. More like I am scared of what will happen to me when I dredge everything up.
“And we dated for years.”
There, I have said it. Got it out in the open. The sour taste on my tongue turns bitter.
I haven’t discussed anything relating to Gavin in so long, I am not sure if I am being relieved of a burden or gaining a new one. Shelly, and her brother Micah, are the only two people in my current life, other than my parents, who know about me and Gavin. They also know not to mention him around me.
“You know I’m going to need more to go on. Spill,” Erin coaxes.
But I am not surrendering everything I have worked so hard to forget in one sitting. I don’t mind sharing with her, but will do so at my own pace. And now is definitely not the time.
“Maybe later. Right now, my head is pounding. I just want to gather up all the equipment, shove it in the car, and head home. Perhaps drink enough to pass out, but not so much I will have a hangover tomorrow. Since we’ll be in the blinding sun for hours.”
Erin nods and collects equipment from around the room, placing it in the appropriate storage crates. A few minutes pass as we break down the set in silence. Just as I think how great it is of her to stop playing twenty questions with me, she speaks up.
“I’ll drop the subject for today. But tomorrow…” She pauses for a breath. “You’re catching me up on this whole Gavin-Cora history. We can do it at your place or out somewhere. Either way, you’re giving it up.”
I stop and stare at her, realizing she is more than just an assistant. Erin is a bestie. One I am proud to have at my side. My team. All the years of not sharing this part of me, it was for selfish reasons. All because I didn’t want to rehash old wounds. Or cut new ones when hope sparkled in my eyes at remembering him.
Wounds heal, right? Sure, some leave scars. But scars don’t define you; they mend you. Give you thicker skin. Show you different paths.
I am more than that small, worried, heartbroken girl. Now, I am a woman. A woman who takes no shit. Or allows anyone to trample over her heart. And gives no fucks to someone such as Gavin Hunt—a selfish asshole who didn’t have the decency to try and keep his word and what we had.
He doesn’t know it yet, but because of him… no one can ever knock me down. No one can take my heart captive.
No one. Not even him.
Chapter Four
Gavin
The last few hours of the shoot were a blur of confusion. I did my best to focus, but my head was all over the place. Every time Cora held the camera to her eye and peered through the lens, my skin flamed. Yes, she was doing her job, but it felt like so much more.
Thirteen years have passed since I last saw Cora. Thirteen years since I last spoke with her. And somehow, it feels like thirteen years is about to catch up with us in no time.