Neither of us moves for a moment. Instead, we lay impossibly still and absorb everything about this experience. The last time Gavin saw this much of my body, I was a sixteen-year-old girl. Although my body hasn’t changed drastically over the last thirteen years, I am not the same. And neither is he. Not just our bodies, but also who we are as people. Yes, I am still that girl under the tree in the courtyard who fell desperately in love with Gavin Hunt. A boy who only wanted to share the shady tree with me.
But now, I am the woman who has fallen in love all over again. The woman who is brave enough to give myself over to him, wholeheartedly. As heartbroken and devastated as I was over the last thirteen years, I forgive him for the things he could not control. Things neither of us could control. For all the moments he wanted to come back to me and was unable to. As much as I tried to deny it, Gavin was always here. Tucked away in my heart. Rooted deep in my bones. Flowing through my veins. Hiding in the corners of my mind. Holding me captive. Telling me to be patient and wait for him. I see this now. All these reasons are why I was never able to truly let anyone else into my heart. Because Gavin had it. Has it.
And he always will.
“I love you, Gavin,” I whisper as I comb my fingers through his hair.
He shudders above me before he feathers a kiss to my navel. The pads of his fingers imprint my back, my sides, my hips. They knead and paw and bruise in the most delicious way. His kisses transition from sweet to hungry and ravenous. I curl my fingers into fists and tug his hair as my back arches off the bed and I gasp at his touch. Gavin nips along the hemline of my underwear until he reaches my hip. He sucks and sucks and sucks, and it is not until a moment later that I realize he is marking me. Claiming me. As his. The notion of his lips and tongue bruising my skin sets me on fire and I moan.
After he is satisfied with his work, he raises enough to peer up at me. “Fuck. The way your soul coos for me, baby. You’re my own personal heaven and I never want to leave.”
“Never.”
“Never,” he repeats.
Gavin slips his fingers beneath the band of my panties, grazes the skin below one, two, three times, then hooks the cotton in his grip and peels it away from my body. After he tosses them to the floor, he stands at the foot of the bed and ogles every inch of me. His steely eyes sear my flesh as he takes in every inch of me.
Normally, I would be shy under such scrutiny. But with Gavin, I crave his appraisal. Long for his eyes to drink in every fragment of my wanton body. Beg for his undeniable need for me.
Over the years, I never allowed this with the few people I’d been with. Never let them that close to me. Hell, I never removed my clothes. I was good with celibacy.
But with Gavin… I willingly bared every aspect of myself to him. Heart. Soul. The good, bad and ugly. He is the missing piece. My forever. The be-all and end-all. And there will never be anything that stands between us.
My eyes lock on his for three panting breaths before he breaks the connection. His drift down the lines and curves of my body, and mine do the same. Down his neck, across his collar bones, the hollow spot at the base of his throat. When I get to his pecs, I groan as I read my name permanently imprinted on his skin. Who knew something so simple could be the hottest display of affection. My heart is a fierce monster beneath my breast bone—pound, pound, pounding to be set free.
In my periphery, Gavin unbuttons and lowers his shorts. Black boxer briefs barely contain his erection, and I unabashedly stare at his groin. Was he always that big? I swallow and know he hears it.
He palms his erection through the cotton. “See something you like, baby?” A hint of sarcasm laces his question.
“You have no idea,” I say, brazen.
My eyes pop back to his as he shoves his underwear to the floor. A second later, he presses a knee into the mattress and crawls back up my body. No barriers. No secrets. Just me and Gavin.
He kisses up my stomach, my breast, my neck, and stops when we are eye to eye. “I want nothing between us, Cora. Ever.” He inhales deeply and shuts his eyes a second. “I’ve always used condoms. It’s been a while since the last… and I got tested after.”
I reach up and lace my fingers behind his neck, draw him down to me and press my lips to his. He doesn’t want either of us to admit that we have been with other people since each other. Doesn’t want to tell me the ways he filled the void. And neither do I. But this is us. Open. No holds barred. No skeletons.
“Thank you.” I kiss him again. “I’ve been tested, too. And I’m on the pill.”
His whole body relaxes. A second later, his lips are on mine as he grinds his length against the apex of my thighs. I lift my hips and add more pressure. And god is it amazing. His pecs squash my breasts as his abdomen slides against my belly. Strong hands frame my face and Gavin worships my mouth with his. I caress his biceps, the sides of his torso and slip my hands around to his lower back. Time has made Gavin’s body a work of art. A sculpture. A god-like effigy worthy of worship and devotion.
I grab hold of his ass and paw at the muscular flesh in my palms. His hips rock into mine as his erection coasts up and down my entrance. A moment later, his palm grazes down my side and slips between us. With a lift of his hips, he slips his hand between my thighs and runs a finger over my slit.
“Fuck, baby,” he growls. “You are so damn wet.”
As his finger toys with my lower lips, I pivot my hips at the perfect time and his digit sinks inside me. It may be only one finger, but it consumes me. A second later, I rock forward again. Back and forth. Faster, faster. Gavin inserts another finger and I moan. His hand pistons as my hips plunge and we form the perfect rhythm.
As I fuck his fingers, he reveres my mouth, my neck, my breasts. He is everywhere. Every molecule. Every fiber. Every beat of my heart and breath in my lungs. Too much and not enough at the same time. Breath and heat and sweat. Friction and passion. While one hand pistons inside me, his other slides into my hair and clutches at the crown. He locks me in place with his grip and his lips and his fingers.
Fire blazes hot in my epicenter. Building faster, hotter. Gavin nips along my jaw and stops at my ear. “So fucking hot, baby,” he whisper-growls. Then sucks at the spot just behind my ear. The one only he knows about. The spot that tips me over the edge.
White hot heat detonates low in my belly and ricochets through every muscle. I pinch my eyes shut and stars glow on the backs of my lids. I bow into his body as mine clutches his fingers with every ounce of strength. High pitch gasps for air whine from my lungs and Gavin crashes his mouth to mine. Dizziness warps my vision as I ride the wave of my high.
For a moment, we lay motionless—Gavin hovering above me. Panting as the scent of sex floats in the air. I haven’t had an orgasm like that in years. Too many years. And I want more. So much more.
“Gavin?”
“Yeah, baby?” His breaths as labored as my own.