“Stop encouraging her, Alessio!” my mother chides, as she sashays past in a cloud of perfume and laughter. “Come, Rosalyn. Your father is busy with zio Renato in his office, but your zio Matteo has just arrived and he’s brought you a gift.”
My uncle Matteo was responsible for making sure that the ‘produce’ moved through Newtown smoothly, without being intercepted or delayed. Since he was the one who taught me to shoot a gun, I’d always assumed that the ‘produce’ meant firearms, but recently I’d overheard snippets of conversation from my father’s office that told me drugs were Matteo’s specialty. And also, his weakness. Even at eighteen, I knew you didn’t sample your own product. It made him increasingly unpredictable and unstable according to what my parents discussed in hushed tones when they thought I was tucked away in bed. Tonight, is about me, and the Asaro family, so I store away the rumors and whispers for another day.
“Go!” Alessio shoos me away towards my mother. “The birthday girl must socialize. Buon compleanno, Rosie.”
After another hour of making polite conversation and being kissed by various Captains, I decide I need a breather. I make my excuses to my parents and slip out into the garden, ignoring the soldiers and other Family members milling around. The knot in my stomach has done nothing but grow, getting tighter and bigger through-out the evening and it feels like something is wrong, but I can’t put my finger on it. Was it the fact my father wanted me to marry a man I didn’t know? No, I’d known my whole life that this was the path I might have to take. I’d been prepared for it. This feeling was like an unrest in my core and I wasn’t used to this. I was trained not to hesitate, not to think twice. Felix Asaro had barely looked in my direction all evening and his wife, sporting another fancy scarf, had only given me weak, soft smiles. Their son was nowhere to be seen. I wasn’t surprised. Arranged marriage, while the norm amongst The Family, wasn’t a pill easily swallowed and the ballroom has been busy, almost bursting at the seams as the entire Family came out to watch and drink our champagne. I don’t really recall Julian Asaro from my childhood, which is strange as we would have grown up around one another. Then again, my father did try his best to keep me separate from the other Family children. He’d called them all ‘pawns in a game they couldn’t begin to comprehend’, ignoring the fact that I too was just another piece on the chessboard.
Sighing, I take a seat upon a bench near the roses my mother carefully nurtures. The enclosed rose garden was surrounded by large trees, for privacy and also to block out the noise of the suburbs, just as my mother preferred it. We always joke that she has the most beautiful garden, because my father fertilized it with the bodies of the men who flirt with her. It isn’t true, he has another site he likes to use to dispose of bodies, but his joke always makes my mother smile.
“Aren’t you cold?” a husky voice calls through the bushes. A shiver runs through me as the cool air moves over my skin.
Standing, I tense, ready to attack as I wait for the speaker to emerge from the bushes. The dark shadows swirling across the greenery trick my brain into thinking that there’s more than one person lurking in the darkness as I struggle to locate the intruder.
A young man steps forward, his dirty blonde hair is gently ruffled and sharp green eyes watch me cautiously. He looks familiar, his face reminding me of someone but I can’t place him. There are a few young men here this evening, all desperate to impress their Captains, my father and of course, Frank. All of them watched me in the ballroom like I was their meal ticket, their way into earning favors, but unfortunately for them I was already promised to another.
I answer brusquely, “No, I’m fine.”
“Do you mind if I join you?” he asks, motioning for us both to sit and for some reason I do. I don’t know why. He doesn’t make alarm bells ring in my head as he gives me a ghost of a smile. Instead, he makes me feel…oddly safe out here in the dark. In all likelihood, I’m probably the most dangerous thing lurking out here tonight, not that you can tell with all my pretty packaging.
Dragging my nails over the cream fabric of my gown, I squint, trying to make out the sharp angles of his face in the shadows. “Who are you?”
He must be from one of the other families, or maybe part of the serving staff for tonight. A nagging in my head makes me growl softly in frustration. I feel like I should know him, but nothing comes to mind. There’s no one else in attendance tonight with his coloring either, that golden hair glinting in the low lighting like a halo around his head. My gaze catches on a pair of expensive silver cufflinks shining in the dark, not staff then.
Moving closer, some of the darkness falls away and in the moonlight I’m able to see more of his beautiful face. And he is beautiful, especially given the crowd gathered tonight. There’s something softer about him, kinder than the hard faces of the men in The Family.
“You can call me Jay, and you are?” His words make me shiver again, I really should have brought a shawl or something out with me. It was silly to react to someone like this, cliched, like something out of those damn romance novels my mother read.
No surname. Interesting. In an organization where everyone knows everyone it wasn’t uncommon not to bother with surnames, but at a first meeting it meant he was hiding something. He didn’t want me to know who he was and to which family he belonged, he was keeping his allegiances a secret. Again, not unusual in the world we lived in. It meant he saw me as a potential threat.
Copying his nonchalant tone, I stretched out my legs. “Rosie.”
His eyes followed the movement, his gaze meandering up the length of my body before settling on my face. Grinning as he removes his tie, he gives a soft sigh. “I hate parties like this, they’re always boring.”
Raising an eyebrow at him, I cross my arms and lean back. He thought Mafia business was boring? Didn’t he realize what a hotbed of gossip, sex and scandal events like this were? These parties and events were literally the only thing that broke up the monotony of my days, which were filled with training—both weapons and martial arts, school, and my family. I had no friends, they were just a distraction, so I lived for these events.
“Then why did you come?” I ask with a tilt of my head, only mildly insulted that he didn’t seem to recognize me as Rosalyn Gambino at my own birthday party.
“Family business,” he smirks, as he crosses his legs and leans back, looking up at the night sky. The best part of living on the outskirts of the city is the night sky. Above us the sky is like a glittering blanket, shimmering and blinking like thousands of diamonds scattered in the blackness.
I can’t help myself as I snort, “Punny.”
My mother often joked that my sense of humor was awful, like my father’s but she always said it with a soft smile. I was an eighteen-year-old girl living in a dark, depraved world, so what did I have if not my humor and my looks? Those were the things that would keep me sane, while my hunger for violence and my talent for murder would keep me alive. I was lethal and the boy next to me was oblivious to it all.
“I do try,” he replies, the corner of his mouth twitching. He has a dimple on the left side of his mouth, and I find myself staring at it when he whispers, “Do you ever want something different?”
The loneliness playing on his shadowed features make my chest constrict as I think about his question. The Family was my life. My mother, family, even my old goat Nonna were all I’d ever known and I was happy living here with them. I liked making them proud. I excelled at my training and in school, but was I willing to give that up to marry Julian Asaro and become a trophy wife? My father thought he was arming me, protecting me, giving me options, but if I thought about it for too long, if I looked too deeply, I realized I was still trapped in the same patriarchal, chauvinistic world run by men with money and guns.
My tongue feels heavy as I say, “This is all I’ve ever known.”
He leans in toward me so that our shoulders are touching as we both watch the twinkling stars. The warmth from his body is like a slow burn, seeping into my bones from where our bodies connect. “And how does it feel? Honestly?”
“Empty.” I frown as the word slips from my lips. I don’t know why I said that. I don’t know what possessed me. I was happy with my life, I was spoiled, I never wanted for anything and one day I’d be running the organization, even if it would be on the arm of my husband. I was happy. Happy. I say that word a million times in my head, but what exactly did happiness feel like? I was happy. Wasn’t I? Flustered and feeling like I’ve said something wrong, I jump to my feet. My throat feels tight, and the heady scent of my mother’s roses are beginning to overwhelm me. I need to go back inside where my head is on my shoulders straight and I’m not distracted by a stranger with emerald eyes.
“Wait.” He grabs my hand as he stands. “Stay just a little longer.”
I say nothing as he takes my other hand and we stand toe to toe in the moonlight.