There was another pause, and I knew she was fighting the urge to tell me all the reasons I shouldn’t move forward. But I was proud when she settled on, “Okay.”
“And I’ve moved into the apartment upstairs.”
“But the man lives there, doesn’t he?”
“Yes.” I closed my eyes, waiting for the world to explode, or at least my mom’s head.
“You’re living with a strange man you don’t know?”
I pushed to my feet and walked over to the window. “I know him. Okay, so I don’t know him super well, but I trust him.”
“People trusted Ted Bundy too, and look what happened!”
“Gideon isn’t a serial killer!”
“No one thought Ted Bundy was a serial killer either.”
“Oh my God. Okay, so he might be a serial killer, but so could anyone I walk by on the street, or a guy I go out with…if I ever went out with guys. The point is, anyone can murder me, but I don’t think Gideon will. He’s…nice. And funny. He didn’t make me feel weird when I said I had to leave before the restaurant got loud. He wore flip-flops the first day, but when I complained, he wore sneakers the next. And he ate my vegetarian food and drives me around and—”
“Oh, Milo.”
“Oh, Milo, what?” It was never a good thing when she said something like that.
“Do you have a crush on him? You need to be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt. Do you even know if he’s gay?”
“He’s queer. He told me because the first time I saw him I told him I’m attracted to him and then asked him not to punch me. He also said he dated a guy who used to suck on his toes, but that’s beside the point. I don’t have a crush on him. Yes, he’s very sexy, and I like to look at him—a lot—but I don’t think he’s noticed, and if he has, he hasn’t been mean about it. He’s my friend. And I don’t have many of those, or any really, but I met Rachel too, and I like her a lot. I trust him. I haven’t figured out why, but I do.” I really, really didn’t want her to ruin this for me. I didn’t want her to make me doubt myself. “I’ll be smart, and careful, and I won’t think something silly like Gideon will be my boyfriend. I just want a friend.”
“He would be lucky to have you as his boyfriend. You’re my favorite person in the world, and don’t you forget it. Any man should feel honored to have you.”
But she didn’t think I would find one. She didn’t have to say it for me to know, and I really couldn’t blame her. I was okay with that, though I did want to have sex. A lot of it. Without the annoying sex noises. “I know.” It wasn’t a lie. I was a catch, whether people got me or not. “I’m going to call a service so I can get my bed moved out—the one here is really uncomfortable—and some of my other things shipped.”
Mom knew me well enough not to ask why I didn’t buy another one. “Okay…and keep me posted. If you need help, money or anything—”
“I need to do this on my own.” Her breathing was slightly shaky. I’d made her sad, but I hadn’t meant to. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I trust you, Milo, and I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom.” I ended the call.
“Sorry about the bed,” Gideon said from behind me. I whipped around to face him. He was wearing nylon shorts and a T-shirt, his hair messy from sleep.
“I wasn’t going to tell you! I didn’t want to be rude.”
“It’s fine. It’s an old bed.” He nodded toward me with a half grin. “You’re showing the whole town what you look like in your underwear.”
“No one can see,” I replied, but stepped away from the window. “I can try to wear shorts if it bothers you. I just really like to be in my underwear.”
“You look good in them. I’m not complaining,” he replied, making my face turn hot. That was extremely unexpected. But then Gideon reminded me of the kind of person who flirted with everyone. He was just friendly like that.
“I’ll make you a veggie omelet for breakfast, and then I’m going to shower before starting on my to-do list.”
“Hopefully you get dressed first.” Gideon winked.
“That wasn’t a funny joke.”
He chuckled. “I suppose it wasn’t. You don’t have to cook me breakfast. I don’t typically eat it.”
“Gideon! You have to eat breakfast! It’s important. You need to fuel your mind and body before you start the day.” I went to the kitchen and pulled the eggs out. “We need to go grocery shopping. This is fun. I like having a roommate—probably just because it’s you. I hope you don’t start to annoy me too much.”