“So pragmatic. Your father would have said the same thing, but you both would have assumed I had the power to change myself. If I did, do you think I would have worked so hard at changing you?”
“So, that’s it? Things go on like always?”
“No,” Beatrice uttered with vehement urgency. “If you’ll give me another chance, I will do better now.”
“So, you have changed.” Could Chanel believe her?
“I’ve acknowledged the true cost of my weakness. The love and respect of my daughter. It’s too much.”
“I don’t know if I can ever trust you to love me.”
“I understand that and I don’t expect weekly mother-daughter dates.”
“I don’t have time.” Chanel realized how harsh that sounded after she said the words, and she winced.
Her mom gave her a wry smile. “Your time is spoken for, but maybe we could try for more often than once every couple of months.”
“Let’s see if we can make those visits more pleasant before we start making plans for more.” Words were all well and good, but Chanel had two decades of her mother’s criticisms and rejections echoing in her memories.
Beatrice nodded and then she did yet another out-of-character gesture, opening her arms for a hug. When Chanel didn’t immediately move forward to accept, her mother took the initiative.
Chanel responded with their normal barely touching embrace, but her mom pulled her close in a cloud of her favorite Chanel No. 5 perfume and hugged her tight. “I love you, Chanel, and I’m very proud of the woman you’ve become. I’m so very, very sorry I wasn’t a better mother.”
Chanel sat in stunned silence for several seconds before returning the embrace.
“You don’t think I’m too awkward and geeky for Demyan?” she asked against her mother’s neck.
Still not ready to see the older woman’s expression in case it wasn’t kind.
But Beatrice moved back, forcing Chanel to meet her eyes. “You listen to me, daughter. You are more than enough for that man. You are all that he needs. Now you need to believe that if you’re going to be happy with him.”
“It’s only been a month, Mom.”
“Your dad proposed on our third date.”
The synergy of that took Chanel’s breath away. Demyan hadn’t proposed on their third date, but he’d told her then that they were starting something lifelong, not temporary. “I thought you got married because you were pregnant with me.”
“I was pregnant, yes, but we’d already planned to get married. Only, our original plan was to do it after he finished his degree.”
“You said...”
“A lot of stupid things.”
Chanel’s mouth dropped open in shock at her mother’s blunt admission.
Beatrice gave a watery laugh. “Close your mouth. You’ll catch flies.”
“I love you, too, Mom.”
“Thank you. That means more than you’ll ever know. I know I don’t deserve it.”
“I didn’t say I liked you,” Chanel offered with her usual frankness and for once didn’t regret it.
Their relationship was going to work only if they moved through the pain, not try to bury it.
“You will, sweetheart. You loved your daddy, but I was your favorite person the first eight years of your life.”
“I don’t remember.” She didn’t say it to belabor the point. She just didn’t.
“You will. I’m stubborn, too. You didn’t get it all from Jacob.”
“What about Perry?”
“I’ll talk to him. I guess I never realized how bad it was in your mind between you. He really doesn’t hate you. He’s even told me he admires you.”
Chanel made a disbelieving sound.
“It’s true. You’re brilliant in your field. I think it intimidates him. He’s a strong businessman, but if he had your brains he’d be in Demyan’s position.”
With a penthouse with a view of the harbor? Her parents lived in the suburbs and she couldn’t imagine them wanting anything different.
Her mother left soon thereafter, once she’d promised again to change and make sure Perry knew he had to alter the way he interacted with Chanel, too.
No one could have been more shocked than Chanel when she got a call from the man himself later that night. He apologized and admitted he’d thought she had always compared him unfavorably to her dad, just like her mom did.
Chanel didn’t try to make him feel better. Perry did compare unfavorably with Jacob Tanner. Her dad had been a much kinder and loving father, but Chanel agreed to try to let the past go if the future was different.