“Flames going up,” Nico says and tosses a burning lighter into a stream of gas. It catches fast and spreads, fire spouting all over in bursts and a dull roar as it hungrily eats the oxygen. The soldiers hurry out the door, followed by Nico and Gavino. I stand and hesitate, letting the heat twist the edges of the small hairs on my face. I want to take a deep breath and suck the burning black gas fumes into my lungs. I want to let it scar me and let the fire consume my flesh. I can burn here and now and end all this, but it’s self-pitying bullshit, not real strength. Dying now won’t save Fynn and it won’t bring Olivia back.
And it certainly won’t get revenge on Danil.
I turn and leave, the smoke billowing out behind me.
We return to the cars. The smell of burning wood and plastic mixed with blood sticks to my clothing. It was a successful hit, but it wasn’t satisfying. Gavino and Nico meet me at the car, both of them hard-faced, wondering why I stayed behind so long.
I look at my best friend and my brother. I can see an echo of myself on their faces—both of them are exhausted, on edge, and angry. Gavino’s riding that fine line between sadness and depression and he’s looking for the next crazy risk to take the edge off his despair. Nico’s struggling to hold himself together amidst my descent into chaos, and he’s got Karah and his baby to worry about. That’s holding him together.
I’ve got nothing. Only a wife that’s gone.
“He’s still out there,” Gavino says. The flames grow behind us and send a flickering orange light across our bodies. It makes Gavino’s face eerily distorted.
“We’ll find him,” Nico says. “I’ve got dozens of guys looking and asking around. This might send him into hiding, but it won’t matter. If he’s dumb, he’ll try to spark an all-out war, which would be ideal.”
“We can crush him out in the open if he’s stupid enough to step up against us directly,” Gavino says, nodding to himself. He seems almost eager.
My brother and my best friend. They can handle this—I know they don’t necessarily need me. The strength of the Bruno Famiglia doesn’t flow from one person and one person alone, it comes from each member working together, and that’s how we’ve kept power for so long.
And all at once a decision comes to me. It hits me unbidden from a dark, quiet part of my mind, the part that’s constantly ticking through possibilities and trying to weigh one path against another. It’s the mad part, the bitter part, the darkest recesses of myself.
“You two can handle Federov for a few days,” I say, looking from Nico to Gavino. “I have to go to Mexico.”
Neither of them seems surprised. Nico only nods and Gavino sighs and squeezes his eyes shut before opening them again like he’s dealing with a massive headache.
But this is the right decision. I need to take care of my own business before I can concentrate on finishing Danil. I have a runaway wife, and I’ll be damned before I let her disappear and leave me alone without at least seeing her one last time. She is mine, body and soul, and I will not release her until I’ve had my fill—and I am far from being sated.
“When are you leaving?” Gavino asks.
“Tomorrow morning. I’ll spend tonight at the hospital with Fynn then hit the road early.” I squeeze my brother’s shoulder. “I have to do this, Gav. I don’t want to leave with Fynn still out and Danil still alive, but I have to.”
“I know you do,” Gavino says, sounding tired. “You have to bring her back. Nobody’s going to question that.”
“Or at least I need to talk to her.” Because I’m not sure I’m coming back with her. I’m not even sure that’s what I want. “I want to understand why, after everything, why she ran away. And why I can’t let it go.”
“Leave the killing to us,” Nico says, nodding as he climbs back into the car. “We’ll keep hunting for Danil and murder any of his people we come across. The city might be a wasteland when you come back, but it’ll be red with their blood, my friend.”
Gavino looks at me hard and I can see the gears turning. “I know you love Fynn. I know you love the Famiglia more than anything in this world. You’ve already given so much, Casso. But I also know you love that girl, and you’ll be a wreck until you face her again. So go with my blessing, and anyone that speaks ill of your decision can come say it to my face. I’ll deal with them.”
“Thank you, brother.” I pull him into a hard brotherly hug and clap him on the back. When I release him, he’s looking thoughtful.