“And your father? He wants only what is best for you.”
"He made my marriage into a business deal."
"I have only met him a few times, but this seems to be his way. To do what he knows. To believe he knows best."
It was an accurate summation of her father's take-no prisoners approach to business and life. And no doubt about it, he understood business better than people.
"Catherine?"
What could she say? She could not regret having Hakim in her life. Her heart had been shredded by the men's deceit, but it had not ended with the pain and the past few weeks had given her hope that perhaps one day her marriage would truly be one of love, not a business deal. "I'll call Mom and get something scheduled. I want to see Felicity too."
"You and your sister are very close."
"She's always been there for me."
"This is a good thing. Latifah is very important to me, but after the attempted coup we were no longer raised in the same household. We are not close."
It always surprised her when he opened up with something like this. He kept his deeper emotions under guard so much of the time, except in bed. Then his passion was as volatile as a live volcano.
"What about your cousins?" He'd been raised with them. Had they taken the role of brothers?
"It was determined early on that I would accept the role of diplomat and so I was educated abroad from the age of twelve."
"It must have been lonely growing up being part of a family, but having a destiny that placed you on the outside in many ways."
He shrugged, his powerful shoulders shifting with the movement. "I am no longer alone. With you, I am very much on the inside."
The sexual innuendo made her blush, but at the same time, her eyes filled with unaccountable tears. She'd been extremely emotional the past week and couldn't help wondering if the fact her menses were two weeks late had something to do with it. Had all Hakim's concentrated efforts paid off?
She blinked away the moisture and went for an expression of amusement. "I'll say." She gave him her best version of a lascivious wink and squeezed his thigh.
Deep, masculine laughter erupted around her as he caught her hand in his. "Behave, wife."
"I thought I was behaving, husband." She drew the word out in a long, slow, intimate breath of sound.
His fingers laced with hers. "We are fully reconciled, are we not?"
“Yes.”
He was silent for a couple of miles. "You are no longer considering divorce?"
She was surprised he felt the need to ask. "No. I told you I was committed to our marriage."
"And you do not think I am lower than the underside of a lizard in the desert?"
That shocked a giggle from her. "No. I don't think that."
"Then why have you not repeated your avowal of love since the day after our wedding?"
Tension seeped into her body, making her muscles contract. "You didn't marry me for love."
"Does this negate your love for me?"
What difference could it possibly make to him?
She pulled her hand from Hakim's and turned to look out the window. Gray sky and wet concrete made an uninspiring view. "What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to tell me you love me."
The blatant request buffeted nerves that she thought had settled. She could make her own demand for the same thing and did not doubt he would comply. It was his duty to come to love her, so he would will himself to do so, but she didn't want a duty vow. She wanted the same hot cauldron of emotions that seethed inside her to churn in him.
When she didn't answer he brushed her cheek. "Is it so hard, little kitten?"
"I'm not sure this is the best place for this discussion."
She could see him return his hand to the steering wheel out of the corner of her eye. His jaw clenched for the second time in twenty minutes. "Perhaps you are right."
She hated feeling like all the rapport they had shared for the past few weeks was going up in smoke.
How could she explain that telling him she loved him made her feel vulnerable? That somehow keeping the words locked inside protected her heart from his indifference.
Only he wasn't indifferent.
He wanted to hear her words of love. Could it be that he was coming to love her? Did he feel just as vulnerable as she did because she hadn't told him she loved him since learning of the real reasons behind their marriage? Perhaps by trying to protect her own feelings, she was not leaving room for him to express his, or at least to allow his to grow into something stronger than dutiful affection.
She turned to look at his tense profile. "I do love you." Her voice was low, almost a whisper, but he heard her.
His grip on the steering wheel tightened until his knuckles showed white. "You are right. This is not the place for such declarations."