Actually, it would be the perfect relief to let go on him. I need to hit something, hurt someone. To bash a motherfucker’s brains in to give me the fix I desperately need. But soon enough, I’ll find whoever the fuck sent that bitch after her, and when I do, I’ll skin them alive.
Siân doesn’t let me go, and this time it is her who coaxes me away. We don’t stop, ignoring the whispers of onlookers and the gargled cry from the guy. Maybe that will teach him not to interfere where he doesn’t belong. Trying to be the hero never ends well. In my world, the villain always wins.
We make it to the elevator, boarding it the moment it opens. She steps in, puts her back against the wall, and crosses her arms over her chest.
“What is wrong with you?” She berates once it’s only she and I without the ears of others around us. “Are you incapable of being a decent human being?”
“The question is, what’s wrong with you? It’s not safe. Why would you go anywhere without me?”
“I just wanted a fucking bagel. In case you forgot, Christian, we didn’t eat. I haven't eaten in days.”
“And I should spank your ass for that.”
She flinches, her cheeks growing visibly flushed. She’s pissed, yet my threat to spank her still does something to her.
“Stop. For once, just have a conversation with me. No threats, no trying to dominate me. Please. It’s the least you can do.”
“You don’t get to make demands when I’m trying to keep you alive. You were almost murdered. Do you fucking get that? Someone somewhere managed to find a way into our home and tried to kill you. I don’t give a shit about that asshole downstairs, the bum in the alley, or anybody else. The only person’s life I’m worried about protecting is yours. ”
“You wouldn’t need to if you’d have just left me alone. But you didn’t for some sick, twisted reason. You’ve been holding on to some archaic arranged marriage, forcing me into this life. Between you and whoever sent that woman, I’m not safe, Christian.”
I get closer to her, my chest heaving. “Do you understand how fucking crazy I went just now? I don’t give a shit about you not liking being here. You don’t have to like my methods, but you’re going to need to get used to them real damn quick. Don’t go off without me again. Do you understand me?”
“Why do you care so much? You’ve done nothing but hurt me. You’ve lied, manipulated, berated, and abused me. Now all of a sudden, I matter to you. You need to protect me and keep me safe.” She mocks me, her voice mimicking my own—accent and all. “Is it because only you can hurt me? You want to be the one to kill me when this is all over?”
I freeze in place, thrown off by her words. “You’re the last person I would ever want to kill.”
“Like you really care about me.”
“Can’t you see how insane you make me?”
The lift dings, alerting us that we’ve reached the penthouse level. Siân breaches the threshold, holding the doors apart with her hand.
“I don’t make you insane. You do that all by yourself. But don’t worry, I may not be safe from you, but I am safest with you. So you don’t have to be concerned about me running.”
With that, she drops her arm and turns the corner that leads to our room. Her words replay in my mind, and I fight the urge to smile. She isn’t going to leave.
I follow her, watching her back and meeting her gaze when she glances back at me,
“And where are your shoes?”
I stare down at my bare feet, suck in a deep breath, then move forward. “Good question.”
17
SIN
After his big blow-up in the breakfast area, Christian has had me glued to his side. If I go to the bathroom, he’s at the door. If I’m in the middle of a shower, he watches me. It was only yesterday that he started to let up. I caused him to distrust me, and for some weird reason, it affected me. He’s done horrible things, but seeing how afraid he was for me helps me see him in a different light. Especially now that he’s softening around me.
For a few days, it's almost like being back in Florida again. Back at Christian's apartment, before I knew anything about the real him. When all I could see was what he wanted me to see. What I needed to see. His kindness, his attentiveness. His desire to give me everything I wanted.
His indulgence, too. We've streamed countless movies, all my favorites. He sits and watches them with me, cuddling with me. Nothing forced, though. He's left it up to me for once.