I accept it without saying a word. It's perfect, pure.
“Cynthia, I need a moment alone with my husband-to-be.” I gaze down at the rose, rotating the stem between my fingers.
“We don't have much time,” he reminds me. I only stare at the flower while Cynthia's footsteps ring out, eventually ending up in the hall. “What's this about? Don't think you can get away with—”
“I'm not trying to get away with anything.” I raise my head, locking eyes with him. He looks incredible in his own right, wearing a dark suit I’m sure was custom-made. “But I do want to get a few things straight with you before we exchange vows.”
He tilts his head, his lips twitching like he's waiting for the punchline. “Go ahead.”
“It occurs to me I've been approaching this all wrong. It's about time I step into the role I was born to play. I am my father's daughter. A Guiliani. I was always intended to be your wife and stand by your side at the head of the Russo family. And I intend to take my place.”
“That's all I wanted to hear.”
“You aren't talking now. I am.” He blinks rapidly, and I push forward. “If I'm going to be your wife, I'm going to be the equal you promised I would be. I have to thank you now for taking the time to toughen me up over these past months. I understand now why you needed to do it. The life I'm about to step into, it isn't for the weak. I appreciate that now. I'm ready to be the wife you need me to be, but in turn, you're going to be the husband I need. No more treating me like a doormat. No more degrading or humiliating me, no matter how much it gets you off. I won't accept it. Do you understand me?”
Either he anticipated this, or he’s too surprised to laugh. “I do.”
“Good. Because I'm sure, I can find ways to make your life just as miserable as you've made mine.”
“I never wanted to make you miserable. All I want is for us to be together. That's all I've ever wanted.”
“You'll get that, but I'm going to get something in return. If you love me, if you want me to be happy and take my place at your side, there's something I'm going to need you to do for me.”
“Anything. Name it.”
20
CHRISTIAN
I’ve been waiting for this moment since I was fourteen years old. At the time, I didn’t understand the significance. All I knew was that I needed her as mine. I’ve heard the tales of men growing emotional the moment they see their brides, and for the longest time, I saw it as nonsense.
Love and marriage in the traditional sense aren’t like that for us. Those who do get married do so as a transaction. Love isn’t a factor. It can’t be. All that mattered was the needs that the union would satisfy.
But now, standing at the altar in front of a bunch of people who ultimately mean nothing to me, I get it. Siân’s gorgeous, and I saw that when I was in her room just a few moments ago. Now though, it feels more prevalent. After all this time, she will finally be mine forever. Something shifts in me, a display of emotions I’ve never experienced before. It shouldn’t surprise me that everything is different with her.
I’ve spent all this time molding her to fit the queen I need, but she’s been doing that with me. Before her, I didn’t feel remorse or care about whether or not my actions had gone too far. I don’t second-guess myself or ask to be given a chance to prove myself. I don’t feel, I don't care. Yet with Siân, I’ve done all of those things.
Music fades into the back of my mind with each step she takes. It’s a slow descent, and the stiffness in her shoulders reminds me that while she looks graceful, while she is making her way to the altar to take me as her husband, she didn’t want this. A good man would see the pain and free her. We discovered a long time ago that that man isn’t me.
She’ll grow to love me, and I’ll learn to give her all the things she’s been asking me for. All we have to do is get past this moment, complete this ceremony and cement our place in each other's lives.
Then I think back to her request, her words vibrating through me. I haven’t given her an answer. It’s not that I’m torn over killing my father but more so that she’s the one who ordered it. The irony of the whole thing looming over us. From the moment I laid eyes on her, she has been the only thing that mattered, and everything I’ve done up till this point was just me going through the motions.