“We need an official name,” Everly tells me, and Maria nods.
I'm feeling stupidly emotional again—and floored by how many views some of these videos have gotten.
“We certainly do,” I agree. “Give me some suggestions.” I scroll through some of the comments, taken even more aback by how kind people are; praising us for taking care of these horses and posting their support. “I'm very impressed,” I tell the girls. “Bringing awareness like this—it's amazing.”
“That's not even the best part,” Everly and Maria say at the same time. They look at each other and laugh. One of their friends, a girl whose name I don't know, steps away from Lucy, brush in hand. She seems just as excited as Everly and Maria.
“Should I be nervous?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.
“Definitely not,” Everly assures me as she takes the phone back, scrolling through to something else. She flips it around and I'm not quite sure what I'm looking at.
“How did you get so much money in a PayPal account?”
Everly’s face brightens once again. “It's all donations! We post the same stuff on an Instagram account and add a donation button. I know it's not a ton of money,” she goes on, “Though, the extra fifteen hundred dollars will definitely go a long way.
“Whoa. This is amazing!” I look at the teenage girls in front of me, all beaming.
“We just want to help the horses,” the girl who was grooming Lucy says. “I’ve lived in Silver Ridge all my life and even met Kim Walker, but I didn't know she had rescues like this.”
“I’m starting to think that's pretty common around here,” I say, wishing even more that I had stayed close with Aunt Kim over the last few years. She seems to be well-liked around town, yet not too many people knew of the hard work she put into taking care of animals nobody else wanted.
Now that I'm home, and I can hold the phone, Everly wants me to record several videos of the girls dancing around the horses. I don't want to rain on their parade, but I draw the line at dancing on the horses like the girls wanted to do. Someone will get hurt for sure. And I haven’t even met the other two girls’ guardians yet and have no idea if they’re even allowed to be around horses like this at all.
I make a mental note to call Louisa later, to run everything by her and make sure it’s legal to accept these donations when this account was set up by minors.
Everly ends up dragging me into a video, and we all laugh as they attempt to teach me a TikTok dance. I want to freeze this moment. I want to be able to look back at this anytime I'm feeling like I can't do this, like it's too much work, or I'm too exhausted to continue on. Because this right here is everything I had dreamed of for myself and my daughter.
* * *
A meaningful life, where we make an impact on others. A house to call home that actually feels like home…in a place where Everly can grow and thrive.
I've never fully considered myself an optimist, because I'm a world-class worrier and can see the bad in every situation. But I commend myself for the faith I've continued to have. My adult life started much sooner than I expected, but overall, I've been met with support and love. And I know it's because of this that I've been able to get through some of the toughest situations.
I want to believe that no matter what, this is the life I will always be able to provide for my daughter. But I can't help the dark cloud of worry that hangs above my head, threatening to rain down on me at any moment. Because the truth is, I know all of our happiness could be washed away—leaving me treading water, unable to keep my head above the surface.
Chapter Thirty
JACOB
I wake up Monday morning feeling just as exhausted as I was when I finally crashed into bed only five hours ago. I'm still drained from the weekend—Saturday felt like it was three days long instead of just one. Despite our best efforts, we were not able to save the mare. Putting down any animal is hard, and it's not something vets get used to. You just eventually learn to numb your emotions enough to survive. This mare was due to give birth in under a month, and her owner was an 11-year-old boy who stayed with her until the very end.
Yesterday was another day filled with emergencies. It started with a horse who ran through a fence, getting big lacerations on her chest, and ended with another euthanasia of a cow who stepped over a low-hanging fence and got hit by a car. I’m emotionally drained and haven't yet decided if going to the clinic is going to be a good or bad thing.