“Oh, right. Thanks.” I take pictures and video clips of everyone, knowing Ev is going to want to see them when she gets home from school. Pongo is a totally different horse than he was weeks ago, and when I compare him today to the first photo Aunt Kim had of him, it’s mind-blowing to see how far he’s come.
“Josie,” Jacob says, and his voice sends a rush through me. I turn and he looks at me like he wants to strip me bare, bend me over, and have his way with me. And, fuck, I want him to as well. He strides over, stealing a look behind him before he takes me in his arms and kisses me. The worry fades away. I’m still going to make sure things are completely clear between us, but I know he feels the same.
I can feel it in his kisses.
“Any chance we can sneak away?” I ask, ranking my nails down his back. He’s wearing dark blue scrubs today with a white lab coat over top and a stethoscope around his neck and looks so fucking good.
“God, I wish. I have another appointment in a minute.” His lips curve into a smile. “Crystal said you were here, and I wanted to see you.”
"Yeah, I wanted to check on the horses and do this at least one more time.” I stand on my toes and kiss him before we break apart. No one wants to see their boss making out with someone in the workplace.
“This is making my day better.” He gives my ass a squeeze and then steps back.
“So, uh, can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“I don’t want to put any pressure on you or anything, but I, uh, I need to know where you see this going. Because I really, really enjoyed the weekend together, but I’m not a no-strings kind of person.” I swallow hard, reminding myself to speak slowly and not ramble because I’m nervous. “And I’m not saying I want a marriage proposal or anything—because I don’t—but I do know I want a relationship that’s exclusive with the possibility of becoming serious. I’m dating for the long-term,” I sum up, reaching up to nervously play with my hair.
“Josie…” he starts and it’s taking everything inside of me not to lay down on the desk, pulling him on top of me. But the fire in his eyes is gone, and his entire face pales.
No. No, no, no. My stomach drops.
His brows pinch together. “I can’t tell you what I want because I don’t know.”
“Oh.” His words hit me like a punch to the gut.
He opens his mouth to say something right as Crystal comes back into the barn, along with another tech. I look at Jacob, eyes lingering, and force a smile before turning and leaving.
I wipe tears from my eyes, unable to stop the pain I feel from being wrong about Jacob fucking Harris.
Again.
Chapter Forty-Four
JACOB
“Is everything okay with the horses?” Crystal walks swiftly back to the desk in the barn. “I saw Josie leave in a hurry and she looked like she was holding back tears. Did we get blood work back already and it wasn’t good news?”
Fuck.
I didn’t want to lie to her. I didn’t want to start something with anything less than total honesty. But now…now I think I ruined things before they had a chance to even blossom.
Swallowing hard, I keep my face neutral. “Nothing has changed since this morning with the horses.”
“Oh, good. That scared me. Did Josie just get emotional?”
“Yeah. She got upset,” I say and I’m telling the truth. I need to focus on my job, but my mind is blanking. It takes me a few seconds to get my brain working again, forcing myself to think about anything but Josie. “Pongo can go for a walk and the thoroughbred can go in an outside run next to the gray mare. Put her out first and bring her in last. He was very buddy-sour at the auction and got upset when he was separated from the mare he came in with.”
“Okay. That is a gorgeous horse. Do you know what Josie plans on doing with him?”
“She’s keeping him.” A lump starts to form in my throat and I swallow it down, feeling like I’m trying to force down a large pill with no water. It’s my fate, a fate I’m not sure I’m ready to accept. But, unlike a pill, I can’t cough it up and not take it.
If I can’t give Josie what she wants, then we were never meant to be in the first place.
“I’m almost disappointed. Not like I have time for a horse but look at him!”
I force a smile and feel like it’s so fucking obvious I’ve mentally checked out. Did I fuck things up? I told the truth, and the truth is that I don’t have a clear picture in my mind like Josie does. I’m not against getting married and settling down, and I really do want a family of my own, but I can’t promise it to her.