Let Me Burn (Angel Sands 1)

Yeah, well he’d surprised himself with how much he’d enjoyed it. Strange how good things happened when you let go of the outcome.

“Anyway,” Chief Simons continued, “There’s a reason for my call. Marcus has requested some leave for personal reasons. I was wondering if you’d be ready to come back next week.”

“You want me back that soon?”

“Only if you’re ready. If you think you need longer, I can look for another replacement.”

He did want longer, but not because he wasn’t up for the job. It was because he’d only just begun to get to know Ember Kennedy. The thought of ending what felt like some kind of honeymoon was a kick to the gut.

But he was Lieutenant Russell first and foremost. Dedicated to his job. “I’m ready,” he said, trying to push down that feeling of unease. “Email me over the shift rota, and I’ll be there.”

“That’s wonderful, Lucas. Thank you for your help.” Chief Simons sounded effusive. “We’ve missed you here. We’ll be glad to have you back.”

“Likewise,” Lucas said, though he wasn’t so sure.

“Well, enjoy your last week of freedom and we’ll see you soon.” With that, Chief Simons ended the call and Lucas found himself sliding his phone back into his pocket.

He waited for a sense of relief to come over him at the thought of going back to his job, but it didn’t come. Instead he thought of Ember again. Of those nights where they’d make love until they were both sated, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

He’d felt a level of peace he’d not experienced in a long time, and now he’d have to give that up. He swallowed hard, as he realized it wasn’t the only thing he’d have to give up.

Yeah, they’d agreed not to define things, but even the easiest of relationships weren’t compatible with working twenty-four hour shifts at White City. Half the time he wouldn’t be around to see her at all, the other half he’d be too exhausted and too tightly wound up to be able to spend any time with her.

His hand curled into a fist at the thought of this thing between him and Ember ending as quickly as it had begun. For the first time in forever he’d felt easy and happy, and a whole load of other emotions he didn’t want to quantify right now.

But what choice did he have? He?

??d seen too many of his colleagues’ relationships break down because of the demands of the job. The higher you climbed, the more likely it was for your marriage to fail – the statistics bore that out. Hell, his own experience bore it out, too. Look at the way Mandy had left, saying she didn’t want to stay with him if he continued to be married to the fire department.

He knew in his heart that relationships – even casual ones – weren’t compatible with the kind of dedication he showed to his job. It was a choice between happiness at home and happiness at work.

Or maybe unhappiness at both.

But it was what he wanted, wasn’t it? Firefighting was his life. Everything else was less important. Even beautiful girls who made his heart speed up every time he saw them.

If he were a kid he’d tell himself playtime was over. It was time to get back to the serious stuff.

* * *

“Hey.” Ember’s lips broke into a smile as soon as she saw him, and Lucas returned that smile right back. He brushed the hair from her face, curling his palm around the back of her neck as he leaned in to get a taste of that smile.

It was delicious.

The door to her apartment was still open as he slid his hands down her back, cupping her behind as their kisses became frantic. She looped her arms around his neck, pushing her body against his, and for a second they were nothing more than a hot ball of sensation.

And then the oven timer went off.

“Damn!” she said, pulling away. “The cookies are ready. I don’t want them to burn.” She left him standing at her apartment door and ran across the room to the kitchen, grabbing an oven mitt to shield her hand from the heat.

Lucas reached up and touched his bottom lip, running a finger along the soft skin there. He already missed the sensation of her mouth against his. Then she opened the oven and the aroma of vanilla cookies wafted across the room, his stomach rumbling at the smell.

For a moment it felt as though he’d stepped back in time. Walking into the family home, greeted by a wife in her apron, and the sweet smell of baking. And if he was honest, it felt strange, because it was so far from anything he’d ever known. His mom hadn’t really been the baking type – the family consensus was that Deenie Russell could burn water if she tried – and he’d never hankered for the kind of life that divided men and women into hunter and home keeper. He couldn’t think of anything worse.

And yet they really did smell good.

“You didn’t have to bake for me,” he said, pulling the door closed behind him as he walked inside. He kept his voice light, yet it still felt strange.

“That’s good,” Ember replied, pulling the tray out of the oven and putting it on the stovetop. “Because I didn’t. These are for my class tomorrow.”