Let Me Burn (Angel Sands 1)

“I’ve pushed you away, haven’t I?” Ember said, her heart feeling heavy at the realization. “Just when you needed me most.”

“No, sweetie. You pushed me away when you needed me most.” Laura squeezed her hand again. “But I understood, you lost the two men who meant everything to you. You needed to rebuild yourself from scratch. And you did it, honey, you made yourself whole again. It makes me the proudest mom ever to see how strong you’ve become, but real strength is all about knowing when you need to ask for help. When you need somebody to lean on the way everybody leans on you.”

The tears that had been pricking at Ember’s eyes spilled over, rolling down her cheeks. Wordlessly Laura pulled her into an embrace, and Ember closed her eyes, breathing in the familiar, comforting smell of her mother.

Strength wasn’t about bottling everything up because you didn’t want to burden anybody else with your woes, Ember realized. It was about making yourself vulnerable, letting people see the real you, warts and all.

It was about allowing them to love her, the way she loved them.

“Mom,” Ember whispered, her mother’s arms still tight around her. “I’ve fallen in love.”

“Of course you have,” Laura said, a smile in her voice. “I could tell from the moment we spoke last night. You always did like to complicate things, to make them seem harder than they are.” She leaned back, catching Ember’s eyes with her own. “Are you ready to tell me about him?”

Ember’s smiled. “Yes, I really am.” She licked her lips, tasting the saltwater of her tears. “His name is Lucas Russell and he’s two years older than me. I went to school with his sister, Caitie.”

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“Band Caitie?” Laura asked, leaning forward to catch every word.

“Yeah, that’s right. He’s a firefighter. That’s how we met, sort of. Although he also helped me carry the propane tank for your birthday party a while ago.”

“He sounds helpful,” Laura said, sounding amused. “And strong. Everything I like in a man.”

It was as though a dam was breached and all of Ember’s feelings were rushing out, and she couldn’t stop talking about him. Her mom listened intently as she described the way he’d saved Carter from the roof, and how they’d served on the Angel Day committee together. She even told her about their first kiss on the beach.

“You always did love that beach.”

Ember nodded. “I love it even more now.”

“He sounds wonderful, so why are you still crying?” Laura asked.

Ember hadn’t realized she was. She lifted her hand to her cheeks and felt the fresh wetness there. “Because I’m afraid he doesn’t feel the same way about me.”

“Have you told him how you feel?”

Ember slowly shook her head. She wasn’t going to tell her mom about their taking-it-slow arrangement, it seemed so stupid now. “We were keeping things casual.”

“It doesn’t look very casual from where I’m standing.” Laura’s eyes were soft as she looked at her daughter. “Did you know that I was the one who asked your father to dance all those years ago? He was looking at me all night at our school dance, but he wouldn’t come up and talk to me. In the end, I had to walk over and drag him onto the dance floor.” She shook her head, smiling. “I was so scared he was going to say no, yet as soon as I asked he couldn’t wait to put his arms around me. And thank God I did, because otherwise you and Chelsea wouldn’t be here.”

“I didn’t know that,” Ember said, her eyes widening at her mom’s revelation. “I always thought Dad was the one who did the asking.”

Laura shrugged. “He was, mostly. I just needed to push him along a bit. It’s scary as hell to lay your feelings out to somebody, but the potential rewards are worth it.” She reached her hand up to cup Ember’s cheek. “Only somebody very strong can make themselves vulnerable like that.”

Ember’s breath caught in her throat. The truth of her mom’s words washed over her like an ocean wave. Being strong didn’t mean you had to be alone.

It meant knowing you had the choice to be with somebody else.

“Mom, I need to get out of here,” Ember said, her voice resolute as she stood up from the kitchen table. “There’s somebody I need to talk to.”

Not just somebody. He was everything. She needed to tell him that.

“You get out of here. I’ll lock up.” Her mom pulled Ember’s spare keys from her purse. “And when you’ve sorted everything out, remember to call your mother, okay?”

“Okay.” Ember grinned then ran for the door, only stopping to pick up her phone and keys. “Bye, Mom.”

There was a time to think and a time to take action. From the way the adrenaline was rushing through her veins, Ember knew her time for feeling sorry for herself was over.

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