“Then stay,” she pleaded.
“I can’t. I can’t do this.” His own eyes stung with tears. “I’m sorry.”
Her eyes rose up to meet his. “And us?” she whispered. “What about us?”
Even crying, she was beautiful. Her eyes shone, her skin glowed, her lips as pink as berries. Lucas was right, she was perfect. The full enchilada. And he was making her cry like he hadn’t seen in years.
He was poison. If he wasn’t careful, he’d bring them both down.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice heavy. “There is no us.”
26
Caitie’s heart had been hurting all morning, and yet somehow she’d managed to keep it together as she sat with Ember and the other bridesmaids. As she had her hair washed and styled, she kept her facial expression as neutral as she could when the beautician applied her makeup.
Ember and her friends were in high spirits, laughing and teasing each other as they prepared themselves for the ceremony. Even Rachel had managed to shrug off her grumpiness about Breck being gone, and was sipping the champagne Caitie had ordered for them.
“Are you okay?” Ember whispered as the hairdresser sprayed her hair. “You look exhausted.”
“I didn’t s
leep much,” Caitie replied, urging her lips to smile. “But I’m fine, I really am.”
Lies, all lies. Her stomach was churning, her chest was aching. She needed to get through today, then maybe she could breathe again.
Because everything hurt. She wanted to call him, to message him, to see if he was okay. But he’d made it clear he wasn’t willing to talk to her. Didn’t want to tell her what was wrong. He preferred to leave her alone than open up and say how he really felt.
She might have been in love with him, but she had some pride. Even if she wanted to talk to him, now wasn’t the time. If she heard his voice she’d cry, and ruin the beautiful make-up the beautician had applied.
No, she would get through today and worry about everything tomorrow. Or maybe after Christmas, because right now her body wanted to sleep for a hundred years.
An hour later, they were standing in the lobby outside the ballroom. Even through her heartache, Caitie couldn’t help but smile at Ember, and tell her how pretty she looked.
“My brother is a lucky man,” she told her.
“I’m the lucky one,” Ember said, smiling. “I can’t wait to be his wife.” Her love for him was so easy to read; she glowed with it. Caitie tried to ignore the feeling of loneliness threatening to suffuse her.
She was going to get through this. She was.
“Are you ready?” her father asked Ember. The bride nodded. The bridal party formed into a line at the front, with Rachel and Caitie paired together in the absence of Breck. The music began as the ushers opened the double doors leading into the ballroom. And as each of them stepped forward, Lucas turned to watch them, smiling as his eyes met Ember’s.
For a moment everything seemed to stop. Nobody breathed, nobody walked, because they were all entranced by the emotion in Lucas’s eyes. His lips curled into a smile, and the crowd sighed, as the wedding procession began to make their way toward him.
Caitie looked around, her cheeks aching from her struggle to smile. The seat covers matched the bridesmaids’ dresses perfectly, the ivory flowers a contrast to the dark burgundy of the fabric. The music was clear, the guests were smiling, and the bride and groom only had eyes for each other.
Everything was perfect. And at least one couple was getting their happy-ever-after today.
* * *
As soon as he’d made it home in the early hours of the morning, Breck had been full of regret. Once he could breathe again he realized he’d been having a panic attack at the hotel. A massive one that felt like he was dying. He hadn’t had one of those in years, thanks to the therapy and work he’d put in after his mother’s death.
But now everything felt fresh and painful. And he had no idea how to handle it.
No matter what he did, he couldn’t forget the way Caitie had looked when he’d told her he had to leave. The shocked pain on her face had mirrored his own. But this time it had been his fault. He was the one who’d inflicted pain on the woman he loved. And it killed him.
His body was dog tired. His brain, too. But when he’d arrived back in Angel Sands at the early hours of the morning, sleep had been the furthest thing from his mind. Instead, he’d paced the bungalow, the deck, and even the beach, trying to work out what he should do. He’d wanted to talk to her, but it had been three in the morning, and there was no way he was going to wake her up. Making this wedding perfect for her brother was important to her, she’d made that much clear. He’d already caused her enough pain, he wasn’t going to make things worse by talking to her all night when she should be resting.
So instead he’d paced his bungalow, his hands clenched into fists as he tried to work out what to do. How to make things right. If this had been a movie he’d drive back to the hotel and interrupt the wedding ceremony to tell the whole wedding party how much he loved her. But he knew Caitie, and he understood she would have hated that. She didn’t like grand gestures; she just wanted to be treated kindly.