Forbidden Lust

21

Barrett

Whatever the fuck that was, it wasn’t happening again.

My legs grew heavy as they carried me back to my room. I shut my door, walked over to my bed, and fell onto it, where I stared at the ceiling.

My phone beeped, pulling me from the feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. Turning my phone over, I read the trail of messages from the boys catching up from the last few hours. They were flying in tomorrow night. Magnus declared it, wanting to forget about his missus and organized the boys for a fly-in-and-out trip. Great.

I turned to my nightstand. The clock glared, 12:10 a.m. Having Lourde around was becoming way too comfortable, and I’d let my control go wayward. Pleasing her and not only between the sheets was what I wanted to do. In fact, it was all I could think about.

Who the fuck was I turning into?

I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. Then I’d divulged the truth about my family, well half of it. I left out the most important part of how my parents died. But I felt compelled to tell her something. Lourde needed to know, like me, she could get everything she ever wanted, especially when it looked like there was no way out, even if we had come from different circumstances and our motivations were completely different.

She had limitless means. I had to support my sister and find her the care she needed from her gunshot wound.

Lourde had a first-class education. I lied to get my foot in the door at a local realtor.

Lourde could do whatever she wanted in life. I hustled, working day and night just to make ends meet and pay Evelyn’s medical bills. Commuting from Providence to Manhattan every day for that job led to meeting people like Connor Diamond—the break I needed to start new and build my business. Now hundreds of employees’ entire livelihoods depended on me, but I didn’t deserve any of it. Just like I didn’t deserve Lourde.

Yet, she was the spark, grinding back my sharp edges each day we spent together, making me believe differently. She deserved someone who could treat her right. Someone dependable and from a noteworthy family. Someone without my dark past. I closed my eyes and welcomed the darkness.

* * *

Today I left early, leaving before dawn just to avoid her. I raced through meetings. We got the signed contract with the ten million off—like I knew we would—and all that remained now was due diligence and the legal team to do their thing.

I could’ve left days ago. But I was still here.

I should be in my office back in Manhattan. But I wasn’t. Instead, I was sitting opposite my Vice President of Sales, Lucio, Olivia, my interior designer, and her second in charge, Jessica. All because I summoned them to the Hamptons to discuss the launch of a site in Brooklyn.

I tossed the coin, flipping it over my knuckles repeatedly, then back again. The taste of her lingered on my tongue, and her smile was etched on my mind. If I was any more of a pussy… Fuck! I slammed the coin down on the table.

All eyes drew toward me. “Everything okay, Barrett?” Lucio asked as he lowered his glasses.

“Perfect, why?” I glared at Lucio. “Let’s just finish up. It’s getting late,” I said, sliding the plans back across to Olivia.

She regarded me, then took the plans and started rolling them up.

“Right. You heard the man. We’ll have the interior decorating of all eight homes complete in two weeks.”

She put the elastic band over the plans and stood up. “Lucio, I think we have a plane to catch. If there isn’t anything else, Barrett?”

The sun was setting. People were arriving at my house. There wasn’t anything else I needed except her.

* * *

My phone sounded through the Bose speakers as I drove back to the house. My sister’s name flashed up on the dash screen.

“Evelyn. I’m sorry, I should’ve called you earlier.”

“Hey. I understand you’ve been busy. Congrats on the sale of 21 Park. I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks, sis. When that completes, I’ve got a condo in Soho with your name on it.”

“Plus, the 21 Park apartment and my house in Boston? Stop buying me real estate, Barrett!”

“Not going to happen, sis. I’ve always got your back.” If I bought enough real estate in Manhattan, maybe she could move here.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Barrett? I’m happy in Boston.”

“But I don’t get to see you that much.”

“I know, but I’m happy here.”

“How’s physical therapy going after the operation?”

“Slow, but I feel more and more each day since.”

“I’m so pleased you’ve got some movement back after the last operation. You know I’ll help get you whatever you need. Just tell me, and it’s yours.”

“You know I will. Tell me, how are you? Still bedding anything that walks?”

I laughed too loudly for my own ears.