Playboy Pilot

“Are you the only young person here?”

“As far as I know, I am. But the thing is…even if I wanted to leave now, I’d feel a little guilty.”

“Why?”

“This is gonna sound strange…”

“Strange?” I quipped full of sarcasm. “There’s nothing about this situation that’s strange!”

“Many of these people have come to depend on me. For the most part, I live a pretty selfish life when I’m flying. But when I’m here, I leave my ego in the sky. You know? Helping these people out, whether it’s driving them to run errands or lifting something…it makes me feel good.”

Then, it hit me. “Oh my God. The Suburban. That’s why you have such a big car, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled.

“You’re like that van that shows up at the supermarket trucking the elderly around.”

“Basically, a few times a month, I am.”

“Wow. I guess there are a whole lot of things I didn’t realize about you, Carter.”

“There’s a lot more I hope to show you, baby. Trust me.”

“Don’t even try to act sexy on that fucking thing,” I said as we continued to roll along.

“This would definitely be the first time I’ve ever tried to seduce someone on a Segway.”

“Where are we going anyway?”

“We’re almost there.”

“Where?”

“My father’s house.”

“Your father? I thought your parents were in Michigan?”

“They are.”

“I’m confused.”

“You’ll get it pretty quickly. Remember what you told me back in Amsterdam…to just play along?”

“Yes.”

“That’s what I’m about to ask you to do.”

CARTER HAD A KEY to enter one of the other units. A man who looked to be in his eighties sat in front of an older television set.

“It’s about time, Brucey! My fucking feet are killing me.”

Brucey?

Carter glanced over at me with a smile. “Don’t embarrass me in front of my friend, old man.”

“What are you doing with Michelle Pfeiffer?”

“It’s not Michelle Pfeiffer, Pops.”