Her voice is singsong with innocence. “Nothing, daddy.”
“Hmm. Number five. You’re to write to your father every week, too, and I’m going to look into visiting hours at the prison.”
As I expected, she balks at this and puts down her pen. “No. I won’t go. If he wanted to see me he would have kept to the rules of his bail.”
This one is difficult, as I agree with her. If my own father had done what Mr. Westley had done I’d have a hard time forgiving him, too. But I’ve witnessed firsthand that there’s been no proper communication between Adrienne and her father lately, only screaming, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it has been like this all through her teenage years, too.
“Listen, Adrienne. It’s my job to set the rules and your job to follow them.” She takes a breath to protest but I cut her off. “This rule is a tough one, though, so I will explain my reasoning. For this one onl
y. All right?”
The set of her mouth is mulish.
“I asked you a question.”
“Yes, daddy,” she says, sulkiness lying heavily on her voice.
Compliant enough in the circumstances, I suppose. “Your father has acted irresponsibly both to you and your mother, and to his staff. He’s let a lot of people down. Sometimes you have to let go of people who are toxic and self-sabotaging, but before you do you should show them how much they’ve hurt you, and give them a chance to apologize. Have you told your father how disappointed you are that he broke the terms of his bail? Have you given him a chance to do better in the future?”
Her voice is shrill as she says, “He wouldn’t listen if I told him I was disappointed. And he’ll never apologize.”
I want to tell her that I agree with her, but if I do, she’ll never even try. “Possibly. But I want you to give him a chance.”
“Whatever. Fine.”
I take the pen from her so she looks at me. “That’s not good enough, babygirl. Do you need a time-out to calm down and think about what I’ve said?”
Her eyes widen. “Like, sit in the corner on the naughty stool?”
“Precisely.”
I can see her mind ticking over, wondering if I’m kidding. I’m not kidding. “What if I tell him that he’s hurt me and he doesn’t care?”
“Then it will hurt, babygirl, and I’ll be very sorry about that. But you will have done all you can and you can walk away with a clear conscience. And I’ll be here to take away your hurt after.”
She thinks about this a moment, twisting the pen in her fingers. “Okay,” she says finally, and writes it down.
I pause for a moment, wondering if this is a good time to broach something else that’s been bothering me. “Have you always had trouble expressing your stronger emotions?” I ask.
She looks puzzled. “Is that a tactful way of asking me if I’ve always thrown tantrums?”
“I suppose it is.” Adrienne frowns down at the page, and shrugs. She doesn’t seem to have an answer, so I don’t push it. “It’s okay, I was just curious. Shall we keep going?”
The rest of the rules are easy. Being kind to herself and telling me if anything has upset her or is worrying her are numbers six and seven. “And number eight,” I say, “is most important of all. Always remember that daddy is here for you.”
“That one,” she says, writing it down and smiling, “I can totally do.”
“One more thing,” I add. “Your safeword is oatmeal. Do you know what a safeword is for?”
She wrinkles up her nose, thinking, so I say, “It’s for if you ever feel unsafe, or in pain, or frightened, and you want to stop what we’re doing. It’s your word, and I want you to use it if you ever feel you need to or want to, all right?”
“All right, daddy.”
“Good girl.” I watch her as she rereads the list. “Do you like calling me that?”
“What, ‘daddy’?” She lays aside the notepad and snuggles into me, playing with the collar of my shirt. “Yes. It’s sort of sweet and sexy at the same time. I don’t think I could call you master or any of the other dom names. They’re too serious.”
I’ve always felt the same way. They’re perfectly acceptable titles but I prefer my subs to curl up in my lap, not sit at my feet. “You haven’t wondered if it means you have what are known as ‘daddy issues’?”