The Things I Do for You (The Alexanders 2)

The rest of the evening went much the same. Even though dinner was just as lively as the one Julia had hosted at her house, Raina’s eyes kept going to her father seated a few places away. He ate slowly and methodically, one food at a time.

Raina looked down at her own plate in astonishment and noticed she’d just finished her corn salad. She hadn’t met too many other people who liked to eat all of one food before moving on to the next.

She noticed that Ridley made an effort to include their father in the conversation. William was perfectly polite but only spoke when spoken to, and though he seemed perfectly composed, there was something about him that was a little… awkward. He didn’t seem all that comfortable socializing.

Like me, Raina thought. It was odd to see where so many of her own character traits had come from.

After dinner, Ridley shoved a basket at her. “William, why don’t you show Raina the blackberry bushes? She loves them as much as you do. Bring back a lot for me, okay?”

Raina gritted her teeth at her sister but it was too late to get out of it. She glanced behind her at Nick. He nodded slightly as if saying go ahead.

“I remember where it is.” William led the way to the back door. They stepped out into the humid evening air and walked down the deck steps to the backyard. The air was just warm enough to feel like a caress as they walked across the springy green grass. William led the way toward the long wooden fence at the back of the yard.

“Here they are.” William gestured to the bush. “You don’t have to pick them if you don’t want to. I can do it. That was just Ridley’s way of throwing us together. Subtle she is not.”

Raina was startled into laughing out loud. She clamped her lips together and handed him the basket. “I’ve been trying really hard not to like you.”

He looked up at her with knowing eyes. “I know. You have every reason not to.”

Before she could stop herself, Raina was asking, “So why did you leave then?”

He pulled a few berries from the bush. They were so juicy t

hey left bright smudges on his fingers.

“I was afraid,” he said finally. “I was also selfish. I didn’t want to give up the excitement of being able to run off at the drop of a hat and party all night and do drugs.” He looked over at her. “I’m not going to try to spin some story to make myself look good. I was messed up. All I cared about was sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Not necessarily in that order. The racial difference also played a part. My parents aren’t the most progressive people. When I married your mother, they never really accepted it and I wasn’t strong enough to stand up to them. I’m not proud of that.”

Raina couldn’t imagine your new family ostracizing you just because of the way you looked. What if Julia and Mark had decided not to accept her just because she was biracial? She felt a pang of sympathy for her mother. It was easier to understand why she’d been so bitter.

“Do they even know about us?” Raina moved closer and yanked a berry off the bush. He held out the basket so she could put it on top of the others.

William nodded. “They do. Things have changed a lot in the world over the past two decades. I’m not asking you to meet them. I know I don’t have the right to do that, but I want you to know they regret how they treated your mom. I do, too.”

They worked side by side, filling the basket with the plump berries. Raina looked at him from the corner of her eye. He had a long, straight nose and an angular jaw. It was surreal how many times she’d wondered what her father looked like growing up. Now she was standing here picking berries with him.

“So, you’re clean now?” she asked.

He nodded. “Now, yes. But I was only able to get there when I was truly ready. I tried so many times to clean up my act and failed because I wasn’t doing it for the right reasons. Your mother tried to reform me and nearly destroyed herself in the process. That’s the only part I truly regret. I don’t regret leaving, because I think if I’d been there, I would have just passed my problems on to another generation.”

Raina thought about the changes she’d made in her life recently. She didn’t miss the hectic pace of her prior schedule and had started to wonder if going back to modeling after the baby was born was really what she wanted to do. But she’d come to that decision all on her own. No one had forced her to make those changes. Nick probably hadn’t realized before he made his offer just how different his life would be.

He came home to her every night and they watched television or relaxed on the couch and read. It was a far cry from the lives they’d both led previously. No wild parties. No traveling. No excitement. But he hadn’t given her any indication that he missed his old life.

Yet.

She gave herself a mental shake. Nick wasn’t anything like her father. He was his own man. And he would never leave her to take care of their baby alone.

William continued talking, oblivious to her thoughts. “Trying to go on the straight and narrow for someone else never works. You can’t escape who you really are.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN

A WEEK LATER, Nick was ready.

He was R-E-A-D-Y.

He’d been wearing his new loose boxers so his boys wouldn’t be squeezed. He’d started drinking raw fruit smoothies and taking his vitamins. His swimmers should be at their fighting best.

Because he wasn’t sure he could stand to see Raina disappointed again.