“Okay. My goal here is to get you back to one hundred percent. The tricky part is that your one hundred percent is about five times higher than the average guy’s.”
“I’ve been keeping myself in shape as much as possible. I don’t have the luxury of taking time off from my workouts. My goal is to qualify for the Special Forces. I’ve already gone to jump school. I was scheduled to go to Ranger school after deployment, but then the accident happened. You know the rest.”
“Jump school? So you jumped out of an airplane?”
Matt chuckled at her awed look. “Yeah. There are a lot of battle situations where it’s difficult to bring in ground support and dropping in from above is the best option. It’s important to have guys who are qualified to enter from the air and the Army always needs volunteers. So I offered to go.”
“Wow. I’ve always wanted to do that.”
At his confused look, she clarified. “Skydiving. I’ve always wanted to try it. I’m naturally risk averse. Everything I do, not just in my career but even in my personal life, is about minimizing risk. That probably sounds stupid to you.” She looked away, a beguiling flush of pink tingeing her cheeks.
Damn, she was cute.
“No, it doesn’t sound stupid at all. I can understand the fascination. There’s nothing like it. Free-falling makes you feel invincible. It’s one of the most incredible things I’ve ever done. If I can qualify to be a Ranger, then I’ll do even more incredible things. It’s been my dream since I joined the Army. Tell me you can give that back to me, Penny, and I’ll do anything you ask of me.”
Their eyes met and her lips softened and parted. It would have taken more self-control than Matt had ever possessed not to watch as her tongue darted out and traced the edge of her bottom lip. When she noticed where his attention was, she abruptly spun around and walked to the other side of the room.
“Mmm. I’m really glad you said that, because I have a feeling you’re not going to like rule number two.” She stood on tiptoe and pulled something down from a shelf. When she turned around she held it up so he could see it. It looked like a white bandage.
“Rule number two is you need to wear this for a few weeks.” She held up one end, then looped it over her head. She tucked her arm into the part hanging near her stomach.
“You want me to walk around wearing a sling again? I wore one when I was first injured. Shouldn’t I be past that by now?”
“Your shoulder is still weaker than it should be. While I work on the surroundin
g areas, we need to give the muscles and tendons time to heal without being jostled too much. Wear the sling. Trust me.”
He eyed the cloth she held out dubiously. It was bad enough having a bum arm without having to walk around wearing something that advertised it.
“Fine. I’ll wear it. I said I would do whatever it takes.”
Penny patted his arm. “Whatever it takes starts now.”
CHAPTER FOUR
THE DREAMS ALWAYS started the same way. The clawing fear. The panic. Everything was so clear, the image as perfectly preserved as a digital photograph.
It was pitch-black and there was nothing but the smell of burning rubber and smoke. He was on the ground, crawling, dragging his friend with him, determined not to leave him behind. He could feel the dirt and rock beneath his fingernails, the trickle of sweat running down his neck. Every few seconds the sky lit up with bursts of fire like some macabre parody of a fireworks display.
“Just leave me, Matt. Get out of here.” Cy started coughing before he could even finish the sentence. His legs were twisted to the side in an unnatural position. Matt couldn’t take time to dwell on what that meant. He just knew they couldn’t stop moving.
“I’m not leaving you behind, man. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but we’re getting out of here.” Matt had hooked his left arm over his friend’s chest and was using his right arm to drag both of them from the wreckage of the vehicle. Cy could barely move, so he was purely dead weight. Matt’s arm was screaming from the effort to pull both of them along, but he didn’t let go. He couldn’t let go.
The air was filled with the sounds of gunfire and screaming. Matt looked up to see the medics running toward them. They were going to be okay.
“Aah!” Matt cried out when Cy was pulled from his arm. His shoulder hurt so badly, as if he hadn’t been able to register the pain until he finally let go.
“We made it.” He looked to his right where the medics were packing Cy’s wounds. But when he looked, his friend had no face. There was only darkness where his head should be.
“No! Cyrus, no!” Matt woke up then, the scream trapped in his throat, almost strangling him. He patted the sheets next to him frantically, his chest rising and falling with the force of his breaths. For several long moments, he was trapped on the razor’s edge between nightmare and reality. Then his heartbeat slowed as he took in the familiar shapes of his room, the lamp on the nightstand, the dresser across the room. He was at Elliott’s house. In bed.
Safe.
“Aw, hell.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. His bare toes dug into the carpet. He’d never slept in clothes before, but he’d started wearing pajama pants since the dreams had started. He was used to getting up in the middle of the night.
He walked downstairs and flipped on the lights in the kitchen. After a glass of water and a piece of cheesecake that had been in his refrigerator long enough to be highly suspect, he trudged back up the stairs and got in bed. In therapy he’d learned to allow himself the freedom of remembering. It helped to think back on the events and remind himself that he’d done everything he could.
His friend’s death was not his fault.