“I know. It’s just that I know this is going to be a difficult conversation. I envy you sometimes,” Penny admitted. “You’ve been married to James since college, so you got to skip the whole dating rat race. No matter what happens, you know he’s there for you. You guys may fight, but at the end of the day, you’re still a team.”
“We work well together and that’s important, but that’s not why I married him, Penny. If all I needed was a teammate, I could have married one of my girlfriends and gotten sex on the side.”
Penny shook her head. “I didn’t mean to imply you’re like roommates. I know you love him.”
“I’m not offended. I just want you to understand. I’m not with him because he’s great at handling money and keeps my shopping binges in line. I’m not with him because I need help. I’m with him because I want to be. I want to snuggle with him after a hard day and wake up each day with him. I’m happier when we’re together. I’d still be married to him even if he wasn’t so organized and smart.”
“You make it sound so easy. That connection is what I was hoping I’d one day feel for Scott. I thought it would come with time, but it didn’t.”
“It’s not easy, but it is simple. Love isn’t complicated, Pen. It’s all the other stuff that’s complicated. Money, careers, in-laws. The love is the easy part. Do you love Scott?”
Penny looked down at her hands. She’d twisted the rubber band she was holding into a knot. “I guess the fact that I even have to think about it says it all.”
Georgia patted her shoulder. “You know what you need to do. Go talk to him.”
Penny went back to her office to gather her things. She took a minute to brush out her hair and wind it back up into a neat bun. She left her white coat hanging over the back of her chair. Georgia waved as Penny left the building.
The bar across the street had an official name, but no one ever used it that she knew of. It had always just been “the bar.” When she walked in she immediately spotted Scott sitting at one of the tables on the far right. It was good that he’d gotten a table.
Their sure-to-be-awkward conversation wasn’t one she wanted overheard.
He stood when she approached. “Hey, I already ordered you a beer.”
“Thanks. I need it.”
He slid the bottle across the table and she took a sip. The cold liquid sliding down her throat shouldn’t have felt so good after being out in the icy wind, but it cooled the blush in her cheeks.
Breaking up with someone was never easy.
“I’m sorry about dinner.” Scott grimaced. “I went about that entirely the wrong way. What woman wants her marriage proposal announced at the same time as a job transfer? I didn’t even get down on one knee.”
Penny took another sip of her beer. “It’s okay. I apologize for being so cold afterward. I was upset, but I could have handled it better, too.”
He smiled at her across the table and she wondered why he couldn’t be the one. Why couldn’t she go all mushy when he smiled at her? Why didn’t she want to go to sleep with him every night and wake with him in the morning? It would be so much easier if she did.
“You don’t want to marry me, do you?” It wasn’t so much a question as a statement.
Penny didn’t look up as she answered. She couldn’t meet his eyes. “No. I don’t. I’m sorry.”
He let out a breath and drummed his knuckles against the table. “I know. But I’d rather hear it straight out than always wonder.”
They sat in silence for a while, each taking sips from their beers. The music changed from the latest country hit to a dance tune and the lights dimmed. The bar was filling up with a much younger crowd. Penny couldn’t remember what it felt like to be that young and carefree anymore.
A young guy who didn’t even look old enough to drink legally asked to borrow a chair from their table. Scott pushed it toward him.
“It’s starting to get crowded. That’s my cue to leave.” He waited until she looked up. “I’ll come by to get my stuff this weekend.”
“Of course. There’s no rush.” They sat in uncomfortable silence before she blurted out, “This is your dream job, right?”
He grinned for the first time since she’d sat down. “Yeah, it is.”
“It’s what you dream about at night. It’s what you want to do when you wake up in the morning. Just the thought of it makes you happy.”
“It does,” he admitted.
“Have you ever felt that way about me?”
His smile dimmed.