All I Need is You (The Alexanders 4)

“Whoa, what is she doing?” Eli struggled to keep a grip on the baby as she squirmed in his arms. Finally, she turned over and then stood up, her tiny feet balancing on his thighs. She slapped two hands on his bald head and squealed. Delighted with this new toy, she patted his head again and then tried to move his head backward and forward.

Kay giggled along with her daughter. “I think she’s fascinated with your head.”

“I never thought I’d hear that from a woman.” A rare smile crossed Eli’s face and his deep chuckle rumbled through the room, the sound causing a bubble of joy to escape her own mouth.

How beautiful a sound to hear him laugh. It was the kind of thing dreams were made of, to have her daughter and the man she loved laughing and happy.

And she did love him, she thought. No matter what he told her, it wouldn’t take away that obvious truth.

She loved his gentle heart, his tender way with her daughter, his firm refusal to allow anyone to put her down including herself. In that moment, Kay knew for certain that nothing he could tell her would change that.

They worked together, cleaning the table and the kitchen. By tacit unspoken agreement, neither brought up the conversation they knew was coming. It was like a last moment of calm before the storm. She just wanted to enjoy it. Because even though she knew it wouldn’t change her feelings, there was no denying that whatever he’d done might impact their future. It was impossible not to speculate on what it could be. What if he was a drug addict? What if he’d killed people?

Kay bathed Hope in the hall bathroom and then rocked her until she fell asleep. She kissed the baby on her soft, fragrant cheek and then placed her carefully in the playpen. For a moment, she w

atched her sleep, her tiny features so peaceful. Peace was hard to come by lately.

When she left the room and emerged into the living room, Eli had dimmed the lights and a fire crackled cheerfully in the hearth. The flames threw soft light and shadows across the room.

Kay sat on the edge of the couch and waited. She heard Eli before she saw him. He entered the room from the kitchen and sat on the other end of the couch. It dipped under his weight, bouncing Kay slightly.

“I had just finished college when I met him,” Eli said.

Kay turned her head at his statement. She was afraid to move or breathe wrong for fear that he’d stop. So she said nothing and just waited.

“I was only twenty-two. Only a little older than you are now. Thought I knew everything.” He chuckled but she could tell he wasn’t at all amused. There was a wealth of pain in the sound.

“His name was Justice. Or at least that’s the name he went by then. There was nothing exceptional about him at first glance. He could have been anyone. He could blend into any crowd, fit in with any group. It wasn’t until later that I learned it was a skill he’d learned and developed over the years. A skill that I would learn and develop as well.”

He was quiet for a time, gazing into the fire and twisting his hands in his lap. There was just the soft crackle of the flames and the creak of his knuckles as he clenched and released his fingers.

“The first time I went with him on a mission, it was to break into a local gang’s hideout. They were into running just about anything you could think of. Drugs, booze, women. If they could make money from it, they were doing it. Our job was to get the girls out. To set them free. And we did. Or at least I thought we did.”

He turned to look at her and Kay shivered. There was nothing of the man she knew in that gaze. He looked like he was a million miles away, reliving whatever it was he saw in his head. And whatever he saw was bleak.

“We did this many times,” he finally continued. “Breaking into criminals’ homes and places of business. Taking their money and destroying their stashes of drugs and weapons. We were like modern-day Robin Hoods, stealing from the rich to help the poor. It was a powerful feeling.”

Despite his strong words, Kay could sense his fear and his shame. He glanced over at her then, and she leaned forward, worried that he’d stop talking.

“What happened then?”

“It was about six months after I’d joined the group that I discovered the truth. We were living in this hovel on the south side of D.C. I hadn’t seen anyone in my family during that entire time. The group discourages you from staying in contact with anyone you knew before. The Circle becomes your family. You live together, work together, and play together. It was hard, but we were doing important work. The police couldn’t help people the way we did. We weren’t bound by the rules of law. If a woman got beat up by her pimp, what was she going to do, call the cops? She’d end up getting arrested. But we could help. I regret a lot of things from back then, but not that. Beating the hell out of any man who puts his hands on a woman is something I’ll never feel guilty about.”

Kay agreed. She wrapped her arms around her middle. He looked so fierce while he was telling his story, but this was the side of Eli she was used to. The protector. The one who took care of her and would never let her come to harm.

“You shouldn’t. It sounds like you were just trying to protect people.”

He cringed and ran his hands over his head. “Yeah, I’m making us out to be real heroes. See, the thing is while we were playing Robin Hood, we had no idea what was going on behind the scenes. The girls we liberated? They were simply sold to someone else. The drugs we stole? They weren’t destroyed the way I thought. That was how the group leaders made enough money to fund our activities. I thought I was taking from criminals but I was working for criminals. I was a foot soldier in a war that I wasn’t even aware of. When I think of the girls I delivered to them…”

His voice broke and he pressed his palms over his eyes. He turned in the opposite direction and wouldn’t look at her for a minute. Tears welled in Kay’s own eyes, but she dashed them away with the back of her hand, afraid that if he saw them he’d interpret it as horror at what he’d been a part of.

Or worse. Pity.

He cleared his throat and glanced at her before continuing. “We were busted by the FBI and I was picked up in the raid. Most of the guys I’d lived with and trained with were killed fighting back. I was captured alive and held for weeks while they tried to ferret out the head of the group. Once they realized they’d captured a lower-level member, I was able to cut a deal. In exchange for telling them everything I knew and cooperating with their investigation, I was able to avoid jail. I’m still helping them to this day. It feels like I’m still under investigation sometimes.”

“That sounds miserable. Isn’t there a time limit that you can be held accountable?”

“There is no statute of limitations on domestic terrorism charges,” Eli stated.