My laughter is muffled by the edge of my sleeve. “There he is. There’s the Vin I know and–”
I cough, shocked at what I almost said.
“You’re here for you?” he asks quietly.
I know what he means. Technically I could be here in a professional capacity, maybe applying for a new job since I’m a nurse. But I’m pretty sure he already knows what’s up thanks to my little emotional breakdown so I just nod.
“Then I’m here for you, too.”
After signing in at the reception desk, I take the clipboard filled with forms the office seems to need signed every time I come here.
Vin sits next to me. As usual he’s dressed in a designer suit and looks completely out of place in regular life, like a prince amongst commoners. Especially right next to my leggings and T-shirt. His foot taps a steady rhythm on the carpet, scratching the rough fibers.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
His features are tight, the line between his eyes more prominent.
I know that intense look. He’s worried about me. The lump that’s been in my stomach loosens a little bit. I still can’t believe he’s here. He arrived just in the nick of time, knight in shining armor style.
“This is actually one of the hardest parts.”
His foot stops moving. “What?”
I motion around the room. “The waiting part. Sitting here with nothing to do but think about potential bad outcomes.”
He grabs my hand and his thumb moves back and forth over my knuckle.
“Tell me what to do. I don’t know what to do. I want to do the right thing.”
Hearing him so unsure actually warms my heart. I squeeze his hand back.
“You are doing the right thing. You’re here.”
He lets out a shaky breath. “Good. Because I have never felt so helpless in my life.”
We sit in silence while I initial the forms in various places. Then after I give all the information back to the nurse at the desk, I take my seat. There are a few other people waiting, an elderly couple sitting in the corner, a guy who looks about my age and even a pregnant woman. I take a deep breath.
God, cancer really is a bitch.
“Tell me something,” I whisper.
His presence has calmed me a lot but I can feel the panic hovering just beneath the surface. At any moment, they’re going to call my name and I’m going to have to go back there alone. This is as far as Vin can go. I’m not ready for him to see me in a medical gown.
Just no. I wish I didn’t have to see it either.
“Like what,” he whispers back, way too loudly.
“Anything. I just need to take my mind off what’s about to happen.”
“Okay. Um… I told my assistant that box of dicks you sent was a modern art display from Europe.”
What the hell? I turn to look at him. So does the pregnant woman who is close enough to overhear. My lips clamp together to hold in a giggle.
“Okay that definitely worked.”