Want Me (Mess with Me 4)

“So, what’s your deal?”

I can hear myself slurring slightly and it takes me aback.

It’s only taken a few drinks to loosen us up. Ariana is a riot and I’ve always had a good time hanging out with her but usually we’re with Casey and our other good friend, Mya. There haven’t been that many opportunities for me to hang out with her alone.

“What do you mean?” Ariana seems to be in considerably better shape than I am despite having more drinks.

I pout. Life really isn’t fair. The girl looks like a supermodel and apparently also has a steel liver.

My parents are Russian so by all rights, I should be the one who can drink others under the table. Instead I’m barely hanging on. The last thing I need is another embarrassing incident so I signal the bartender and point to my empty water glass. Maybe if I’d remembered that earlier I wouldn’t feel like I’m on the verge of falling off this barstool.

“You’re gorgeous. You have the whole Gigi Hadid thing going on. Why are you drinking at the bar during a wedding? I mean, I know why I’m here.”

“Why are you here? Aren’t you the one with the hot silver fox boyfriend?”

“The man who wants to keep our relationship a secret? The man who never wants to talk about the future? Is that really a boyfriend or just a man I don’t have the willpower to say no to?”

“Ahhh, I think I’m starting to understand. He won’t commit. It’s a thing. Sounds like we have opposite problems. Your guy won’t stay and I can’t figure out how to get rid of mine. Maybe we should switch lives.”

For some reason this strikes me as really funny and I snort laughing. The bartender places a glass of water in front of me and then leaves just as quickly. Smart man. I wouldn’t want to be involved in this either if it wasn’t my sorry life.

I gulp at the water, hoping it’ll clear my head. Clearly I’m even more drunk than I thought because most of it goes down the front of my dress. Ari covers her mouth but I can see her shoulders shaking.

“Don’t say it. I know I’m a hot mess.”

“No, you’re just disappointed. I’ve been there. Men are fun to play with but you can’t rely on them. You have to rely on yourself.”

“I want to rely on myself. You know, be all independent woman, hear me roar! But it never seems to work out that way. Tell me how you do it.”

She shrugs. “I just do what I want. Men get away with all kinds of bad behavior but women are expected to be perfect. So stop being perfect. Just live your life in the moment. See that hot guy over there?”

I glance over my shoulder and follow her line of sight. Then I sigh. The man standing on the other side of the room is gorgeous.

“Wow. Yeah, he is hot.”

She winks. “You should ask for his number.”

I gape. “What? I can’t do that. I h-have a boyfriend.”

“Do you? Because I’m pretty sure you just said that dude doesn’t want to be locked down.”

Shocked into silence, I turn my water glass around in my hands. “Well, what about you? You’re trying to get rid of a guy so what are you doing wrong?”

“I don’t know. That’s just it. None of my usual crazy is working. I’ve done some of the most batshit stuff to this guy and he just… rolls with it.” She looks annoyed.

“You should cook for him. Ask him about his day. Kiss him like you missed him. That should send him running. It works for me.”

Her eyes light up. “That’s it. We don’t switch lives. We switch methods. I’ll do things the Anya way. You do things the Ariana way. We both get what we want.”

I blink several times. “Just start acting differently?”

“Nothing else has worked. So what have we got to lose?”

It’s a tempting fantasy, that I can just transform into this confident, badass chick who demands what she wants but that’s all it is. A fantasy. Real life doesn’t work that way. I’ve always avoided drama and game-playing in my relationships and there’s no way I’m changing that now.

“I’m going to talk to Law. We’re adults, right? We should be able to have a calm, rational discussion about what we each need from our relationship.” A text message lights up the screen of my phone.

JLAW: Where are you?