Want Me (Mess with Me 4)

She’s moaning my name over and over again and all I can think about is how good it feels when her hands fist in my hair. My mouth latches on to her earlobe and that sends her over, her legs wrapping around my waist like she can’t get close enough. There’s no way I can resist the rapid pulses of her body around mine and I let go, riding out the blissful waves of pleasure until we’re both left panting and exhausted.

“Holy shit,” Anya breathes.

It makes me laugh but it’s also exactly what I was thinking. How did we go from talking about everything that happened today to screwing each other’s brains out?

As soon as I pull away from her, I’m instantly cold but I also know I probably need to leave. My underwear and slacks are next to my foot but I have to search for a minute before I find my shirt crumpled at the end of the bed. I wince at how several of the buttons are hanging loosely. I button them as best I can. I’m sure the dry cleaners can fix it.

When I look up, Anya is watching me.

“Thank you, Law.”

I swipe a hand through my sweaty hair. “You don’t have to thank me.”

She points at my dick. “Should I thank him?”

Her irreverence smoothes over the awkwardness I’m feeling and as usual, I’m left smiling.

“I should probably go.”

Her hand reaches toward me. “Can you… stay? For a little while.”

Unable to deny her anything, I lie back down.

“I was really scared today,” she says finally.

“Your dad is going to be just fine. The doctors said he was lucky, remember?”

“He’s fine. Today. But what about tomorrow? Or the day after that? Maybe I’ve just been in denial but it really hit me tonight that one day he won’t be okay.” She turns into my embrace and buries her head against my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

She lets out a long shuddering sigh. “What would he do if my mom wasn’t there? When he gets confused, she’s always there to pull him back to the here and now. What will I do when I’m his age banging around an apartment by myself?”

The idea of her being older and alone is so foreign and shocking that I go still. Anya continues speaking, so softly I’m not even sure she realizes what she’s saying.

“What will my life be like if I don’t have a love strong enough to pull me back? Or someone to talk to the doctors for me and make sure that I’m being taken care of?”

“That’s not going to be you, Anya.” Just the thought of it is painful.

Her fingers dig into my arms. “I know you think marriage is just a piece of paper. But that paper has the power to declare who is family and who isn’t.”

If she was crying, I could work with that. Tears are my kryptonite but at least I know what they mean.

But it’s the quiet certainty in her voice, like she has foreseen her fate and already accepted it, that strikes me through the heart. Because I know in that moment that I want to be a part of her future. I want to be the one holding her hand.

Even if things get hard.

Even if she doesn’t remember me.

I’ll always want to hold her hand so she’ll never feel alone.

For long moments, we stay just like that, her in my arms with my hand tracing a gentle circle on her back. Her breaths are slow and even. When I’m pretty sure she’s asleep, I

carefully ease back. She wanted me to stay because she was scared and alone but she probably won’t be too thrilled to find me here in the morning.

It’s the last thing I want to do but I force myself to stand up. After I put my shoes back on, I allow myself the quiet pleasure of watching her sleep for a few minutes before I turn around and tiptoe to the door.

“Law?”