Crooning the second verse of My Funny Valentine, I look out over the crowded ballroom of the Piedmont Hotel at the elegant crowd. When Finn told me he knew the owner of the Piedmont, Ethan Marks, I’d been amazed. Their jazz night is legendary. Upscale. They only hire the best and even then Ethan has a reputation for being picky. I figured he gave me a chance because he’s friends with Finn but friendship only goes so far. It honestly never occurred to me that I would actually get this gig.
Performing here is usually the highlight of my month. Instead, I’m struggling to get through until I can go back home and curl up in my pajamas.
The crowd shifts and that’s when I see him. I momentarily stumble over the words I know so well. I blink and then he’s gone, the crowd shifting again, swallowing up the gentleman in the striking midnight blue tuxedo. I finish off the song, grateful that it’s the last of my set. Thoughts of Gabe have been distracting me all day and now I’m imagining that I see him everywhere.
Then I step off stage and he’s there.
Gabe holds out a hand to help me down the stairs and I accept it out of shock more than anything else. I smile as I pass Ethan, who nods in approval before continuing his conversation with the man he’s talking to. Keeping my eyes straight ahead, I refuse to acknowledge Gabe again. I just told him that I need space and now he shows up here? I don't believe for one minute that it's a coincidence. Damn him for how he throws me off guard!
Gabe speeds up until he’s walking by my side. I walk faster, desperate to reach the bar.
The bartender, Clary, hands over my usual drink as soon as I arrive. “Vodka tonic.”
“You are a saint.” I take a sip and then groan when Gabe leans against the bar next to me.
“I’ve never seen you sing before. You sing the same way you do everything else. With everything you have. It was incredible.”
Every part of me blooms under his attention. I hate that I’m so parched for his attention, drinking up every drop of his admiration like it’s the sustenance I’ve been waiting for.
“Why are you here, Gabe?”
“I had to see you.”
“We had a great time and I don’t regret it. You’re the one who ran out the next morning. So I repeat, why are you here?”
He grabs my arm and pulls me closer, turning his back to the other people standing at the bar. “This entire week all I could think of was you. I came to see you this morning because I thought that would be enough. Just a quick visit to stop this … obsession. But it’s not enough.”
As he speaks, he's looking at me with this savage expression that I've never seen on him before. The intensity is almost too much to take. It's as if he's trying to soothe the beast within with the object of its torment.
“Nothing will ever be enough," he whispers.
I suck in a breath as our eyes meet and something tightens in my stomach. Just like that, it's back, the same powerful awareness of him that makes me want to claw his clothes off.
His words should soothe me. It should be a relief to hear that I’m not the only one who feels this pull, this overwhelming sense of losing control of who am I when he’s near but it only makes me feel worse.
Because in all the things he’s said, how he wants me and how he’s obsessed with me, nowhere in all of that speech did he say he wants to feel this way. The way he feels is like a disease that he’s trying to shake and for me, it’s like a flame that I’m drawn to. A flame that warms me, thrills me and makes me long to get burned.
Suddenly he jerks back and pats his pocket. When he moves his hand, I can hear his phone vibrating. After several rings it stops and then immediately starts again.
"Something important?" Part of me is hoping it is so I can have a reprieve from this maddening conversation.
He withdraws it from the inner pocket of his suit jacket. After glancing at the screen briefly, he shuts it off. "Nothing is more important than this."
"What do you want from me, Gabe?”
“I want you. That’s the only thing I know.”
“You tell me we can't be together then you say we'll be friends. We have an amazing night but then you run away. I don't think you know what you want."
My head is spinning. Being with him feels like standing on the edge of a cliff. It’ll only take one strong wind to send me soaring and while I might enjoy the ride, I already know I can't survive the crash landing.
He sighs. "That was an asshole move, I admit. But something reminded me that I'm not good for you."
"So what changed?" My voice breaks and that’s the first time I see a hint of the real Gabe, my Gabe, in his face.
He cradles my face in his hands and smiles down at me gently. "I realized that I can’t stay away from you and I'm not noble enough to try anymore."
chapter eleven