Ask Me (Mess with Me 2)

“I bet they do,” she responds. “Mrs. Abernathy down the hall is a little freak. She had two guys coming out of her apartment last night so she can’t judge.”

“They were probably repairmen, Ari.” Mya shakes her head but she’s laughing too. She glances over at me. “Mrs. Abernathy is eighty years old at least.”

“So what? Older ladies need lovin’ too. And repairmen?” Ari gives her a knowing look. “Isn’t that how every porno starts? Ding dong! Hello, ma’am. I’m here to lay the pipe.” She pumps her hips in a lewd dance.

I’m pretty sure my mouth is dragging on the ground by now but I follow them into the apartment.

“What about you? You have a boyfriend?” Ari asks. It takes me a moment to realize she’s talking to me. Despite trying to play it cool, I’m sure the expression on my face says it all.

“Uh, no. I’m on sort of a man-hiatus right now. I think I have bad luck where relationships are concerned.”

Ari nods sagely. “I hear that. Most dudes aren’t really worth the effort anyway. Besides, you know how they say men won’t buy the cow if they get the milk for free? Well, I say why buy the pig when all you want is a little sausage?”

Mya turns to me. “I apologize for my former roommate. I tried to warn you but I think I forgot how off the rails she could be. I hope we haven’t scared you off.”

Ari doesn’t look repentant in the least as she grins at us before putting her mouthpiece back in and breathing like Darth Vader. She kind of reminds me of my best friend from high school. Outrageous and fun but if you just went with the flow, she was the most loyal friend ever.

“You definitely haven’t scared me off. Honestly, I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.”

“See? She’s fine.” Ari looks triumphant. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”

The main living area is painted a soft cream color and all the furniture looks cozy and lived in. A little dog with black and white fur snoozes on a chair in the corner. Ari points out the kitchen and then shows me the second bedroom. Everything is bright and clean and the room even comes furnished. Mya left a lot of her furniture when she got married since she didn’t need it, Ari explains.

Despite how wild our introduction was, Ariana seems like she’ll be an ideal roommate. She works at the hospital and only occasionally has night shift so I doubt she’ll keep me awake by coming in late or ultra early. The place looks clean but not so clean that I worry she’ll kick me out if I forget to wash a glass after I use it. It seems normal. Completely normal.

And for the first time since I left home, I think that things are going to be okay.

“So, what do you think?” Mya asks. “Not to put you on the spot or anything. I’m sure you had other apartments you wanted to look at.”

“I’ll take it. But there’s just one thing.” I look over at Ariana. “Do you know anyplace close by that I could apply for a waitressing position? I don’t have a car so I need something that I can walk to if possible.”

Ari nods. “Yeah. I know a place that just put a sign up last week looking for help.”

“Great. Also, I’m almost afraid to ask but if we’re going to be roommates, we might as well get it all out there. Were you expecting someone? I know you said most men aren’t worth the effort but …” I gesture to her outfit. “If this is a weird sex game you play with your temporary sausage, I can handle that. Just put a snorkel on the door if you don’t want me to come in.”

Ariana takes the snorkel off. “Oh, I like her. This is going to work out just fine.”

4

* * *

The sketches on my desk blur before my eyes. Physically I’m still sitting in my office, behind the same desk I bought five years ago after our first favorable review. But I’m not seeing the designs for our next fashion show, instead just more work that will lead to more sleepless nights.

My little adventure yesterday put me behind and I’ve been playing catchup all morning. I run my hands through my hair. The clock on the wall across from me taunts me with the early hour.

It feels like I’ve been behind this desk for an entire workday already and it’s not even close to lunchtime.

The door opens bringing in a rush of sound. Philippe walks in carrying a to-go cup of coffee and his tablet. He pauses when he sees the look on my face.

“Are they that bad?” He glances down at my desk and I realize after a moment that he means the sketches.

“No. Of course not. Our design team is the best.”

“Then why do you look so…” he pauses. “I can’t even describe the look on your face.”

He takes a seat in the chair across from me and rests his ankle casually on his knee. That’s my brother, always calm, cool and without a care in the world. It’s something I envy about him, his ability to let everything go and just enjoy the moment. He doesn’t stress over the little things the way I do.

As if he can read my thoughts, he points at me. “You’re stressed. All you do is work lately and you never want to go out. Look at us, Andre. We’re young. We’re hot. We’re rich. There should be no worries.”