Ask Him (Mess with Me 1.50)

Resolved to enjoy my short time left here, I push the dark thoughts aside and start walking. Most of my days are spent behind a desk now, reviewing budgets and plans as my extensive staff carry out my wishes. Nothing like when I first started, when I was involved in every design. I look down at my hands, smooth and unblemished. Such a change from the days when I had cuts and sores from pins and long nights of cutting fabrics.

Fashion design is a cutthroat business and no one makes it without having skin, and blood, in the game. But I had more than most, knowing that my background and family were all initially against me. Pampered sons in the Lavin family go into respectable fields such as law or medicine. Not something as frivolous as fashion. There were many long days and nights when I wondered if all the work would be worth it. If I’d ever get to prove them all wrong.

The fact that I did should give me comfort. Vindication, even. Somehow it doesn’t matter as much as I once thought it would.

“Andre! There you are.” My mother’s voice floats from behind me, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Buon giorno, Mamma. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” We exchange kisses and I lead her back to the house. My mother has never been fond of the olive groves and standing in the sun.

“I tried, mio figlio. But no one on your staff seemed to know where you were. Or at least they wouldn’t tell me.”

Her words make me want to s

mile but I suppress it. My staff is loyal and would never reveal my location, not even to my mother. Especially to my mother. I’m just shocked that my assistant didn’t call to warn me. Kate is incredibly efficient and knows I don’t enjoy surprises.

“Apologies. I decided to take a holiday before Fashion Week starts and enjoy the last days of summer. I expect the new line will draw a lot of interest. We’ll be very busy soon.”

She squeezes my arm. “I never understood why your father loved this place so. He almost didn’t make it away from here. Perhaps it reminded him of his youth. But after the excitement of the city, I would have thought it would be a disappointment.”

I don’t tell her that the simplicity of this life was probably exactly why my father loved it here. The frenetic pace of Milan and the constant driving need to see and be seen has always been more my mother’s thing.

“Are you hungry? I can have Chiara make us something.” Although I don’t get here often, I employ a housekeeper from the village to look after the place and cook when I’m in residence.

Mamma is shaking her head before I finish the sentence. “Not today. I must get back to the city. Anna Maria is having us for dinner. I suppose I’ll have to give her your regrets?”

“Please do. I’m sure I’ll see her soon. She’s always on the fashion circuit.”

Anna Maria is my mother’s best friend and one of the reigning dames of their exclusive social circle. She’ll be front row at Milan Fashion Week and in New York as well, no doubt.

“Of course.” Mamma kisses my cheek as we reach the back door to the small villa. She shades her eyes with one hand as she turns to me. “Promise me you won’t stay too long. I worry about you out here all alone.”

“I promise. I’ll be back in the States before long anyway. We have meetings.”

She pats my shoulder gently before turning to go. I can’t even be annoyed by her meddling since she’s not the only one who has expressed concern about my sudden vacation.

Plenty of my friends wonder why I don’t stay more at my place in Milan or if I wish to remain on the Amalfi Coast, at least upgrade to one of the villas with a better view. Now that I’ve “made it” I can hobnob with Europe’s most wealthy and the Hollywood elite. They don’t understand that I don’t care about any of that. Not the way I used to.

But it’s time I get back to reality.

As I walk through the same home that is virtually unchanged from my childhood, I stop to look at a photograph on the wall. It’s a picture of me and my younger brother, Philippe, with our father. Papa is holding Philippe and I’m at his side, looking up at him with adoration. My father came from simple beginnings and taught us the things that really matter in life can’t be bought. As busy as he was, I never doubted that he considered his family the most important thing in his life.

As I look at the picture, I’m startled by the longing to have that someday. A child of my own. Family. People to care about me as more than just a source of income or an autograph.

Papa once told me that when I found the right person to spend my life with, I’d feel as though I’d found the missing puzzle piece to my heart.

I’m ready to find that piece.

3

Several weeks later, my time in the olive groves is all but forgotten. As soon as I returned to the office, I was inundated by the usual million and one things that require my attention.

Budgets that need to be reviewed. Of course.

Models to be approved for the runway show. Right.

Finding time to be witty, charming and debonair on social media. Certainly.

My life leaves little time for such inconsequential details as eating, breathing or sleeping. I’m expected to be Andre Lavin twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.