9
RENEE’S POV
What are they doing right now?I wondered as I stirred my tea a little bit longer than I really needed to. The gym? Did Wes say that they were going to the gym?
Not that it mattered what the RedEye guys were doing. It made absolutely no difference to me whether they were in the house, at the gym, or running free through Central Park as wolves. Right now, I was considered safe enough to be alone, without anyone looking over my shoulder, because it was my weekly breakfast alone with my father.
This was something we used to do a lot when I was a kid, and I absolutely loved it. I adored getting one-on-one time with my father, which was often hard for me to get when my siblings were in the house, so it meant the world to me.
But then he got busy. His business started to take up an increasing amount of his attention and I started to want to spend more time with my friends than my family because of the age I was at. We kind of drifted apart in that way. Even more so when I went to college.
It was actually one of my stipulations when it came to working with my father. I only wanted to work for the oil company if we could get closer once more. The weekly breakfast meetings, even if they didn’t always happen every single week, were something I looked forward to. I always had a really good time.
I was never distracted like this, I never let my head go elsewhere. But today was different. In fact, I had been different ever since I met the guys from RedEye Security. I should have known the wolf shifters were going to be dangerous the moment I first laid eyes on them. I was instantly struck; I just didn’t really know why at the time. I didn’t know they were going to upend my life completely.
I liked being around all of them. Together, or one by one. Stark’s dark side underneath the seriousness that I had only just been given a small glimpse of, but that I wanted a whole lot more. Toby and the way he took me back to my happy place, but in a brand new way. Wes with his sweet empathic nature, and the way he just seemed to see me. Lucky as well. I hadn't had a chance to talk to Lucky since that night, but I’d done nothing but think of it.
Maybe I did deserve pleasure and joy in life. But how could I get it?
I eyed my father curiously, wondering if he would be willing to hear me out. We’d always had a close relationship in the past, but this whole wedding debacle was getting in the way of that. Perhaps if I was the one to bring it up, we could have an open and honest conversation…although not too honest. I wasn’t about to tell him the truth about the guys. That would be way too much for Dad to handle.
“So, what do you think about the Dubai blueprints?” he asked me with a content smile on his face. “This will be our first expansion since merging with the Vanderbilts, so it’s a very exciting one. I can’t wait to get the headquarters up and running.”
I swallowed back the thick ball of guilt that lodged itself in my throat. I didn’t want to get sidetracked from the things I needed to say. But I guess I lost my nerve anyway because I ended up talking about Dubai.
“Does this mean you’ll want some more of my paintings?”
That was the one thing I really liked about working for the oil company. It was the one allowance my father granted me. He let me decorate all the head office buildings with my work, so I could at least be a little bit creative.
“Oh, no.” Dad laughed as if this idea was absolutely ridiculous. “There’s not a chance. I don’t want to put any more pressure on you at the moment. Not when you’re so incredibly busy with wedding planning. I know that’s taking up a lot of your time.”
“Not really,” I blurted out in annoyance. What was the point in talking about Dubai with me at our breakfast if I wasn’t going to be able to paint anything for it? “Mrs. Vanderbilt, Mom, and Rebecca pretty much have everything under control.”
“You can’t let them take the reins,” he said warningly. “This is your wedding. You need to make sure you have everything you want. Don’t let them railroad you.”
Everything I wanted? Aside from the right groom. Aside from love, aside from a freaking happily ever after. I didn’t give a shit about the wedding details, but I did care about the life I would have after getting married.
I already knew painting wasn’t going to feature in my life as much once I was married, but hearing my father say this as if I would never have time to paint again really bothered me. It wasn’t what I planned to confront him on, but I needed to say something.
“Dad, I still have the application for the National School of Fine Arts in Paris sitting in my bedroom,” I reminded him. “Have you forgotten about it? Because you know that was always my dream. I have been working with you at the company to eventually go there. I thought we had an agreement.”
Dad scoffed as if this was ridiculous. “Oh, Renee, that’s a childish dream. You’re working at the company to get some real life experience. To push all these silly childish notions out of your brain. Don’t bring it up now of all times.”
“Now? Why can’t I talk to you about it now?” I demanded.
“Because you’re getting married soon, that’s why.” Dad rolled his eyes, exasperated with me. This wasn’t a look I got from him often, but it always stung like hell. “You need to be focused on that. Then when you get married, you’ll have the life of a wife to think about. A mother as well. Of course, you’re going to have children very soon.”
My heart sunk, just as it did every single time I thought about the idea of being a wife and a mother with Diego by my side the whole way.
“Why are you looking like that?” Dad snapped, much more curt this time.
“Like what?” I looked up to meet his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Like you’re a young, spoiled girl who wants to get her own way.” I was taken aback by how nasty this comment felt. “You know art school is a thing kids do. You can’t run off to Europe now. You’re an adult. You have responsibilities.”
“But many adults are artists, and you promised.” I knew I sounded a little childish, but I couldn’t make myself stop. The frustration might as well have been exploding out of me. “I have jumped through all the hoops you set out for me—”
“Stop it.” Dad banged his fists down on the table. I reared back because I’d never seen this side of him directed at me before. Other people, sure, but he was never like this with me. “Stop this now. I don’t want to hear it anymore. You have agreed to this marriage, you have been enthusiastic about it. The announcements have been made; the plans are in place. I don’t want to hear this doubt now. It’s stupid.”
“My feelings are stupid?” I clutched my chest in horror and shock. “So, it’s too late for me to make any changes? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? Paris is simply out of the question now, and so is art because I have to marry Diego Vanderbilt?”
Dad’s face remained blank. My impassioned emotional speech didn’t affect him at all. Had he always been this cold?
“This wedding is much bigger than you, Renee, and you know it.”
Now it was my turn to scoff. “So, you expect me to be miserable forever because you want to have some merger with Mr. Vanderbilt? I have to be married to Diego?”
“Hey, you could do a lot worse than Diego. He has a great education and a good future ahead of him with his father’s business,” Dad insisted. “We’re forming an empire, and that will work in your favor. You need to try to see the bigger picture. You need to see that I’m here doing this for you and your future.”