12
RENEE’S POV
It was the usual crowd at the charity gala. The crowd that would attend the events their parents didn’t want to. Luckily, it was too boring and lowly for Diego to bother attending. He was more interested in some night club opening in the city. Not the sort of place I would be caught dead. I just didn’t care about that sort of thing.
I grabbed a champagne glass off a passing tray and took a sip. It was sharp tasting, not my favorite drink, but I needed to take the edge off somehow. And not just because the party was a bit intense, so unlike my art crowd where I felt much more myself. But because of everything going on around me.
I still couldn’t quite believe I had given my virginity to Wes. But it felt so freaking right at the time. I loved every moment of it. I couldn’t get enough. I honestly could have locked myself away in his bedroom and had sex with him for days and days. Wes truly unlocked a desire within me that I didn’t know was there before the guys came into my life. But it was still a little shocking, and I couldn’t believe it went that far.
I smiled secretly to myself as I took another sip of champagne. I knew for sure that I would do it again given half the chance. I would let Wes rock my world again. I would also like a reenactment of what happened with Lucky…only I wouldn’t stop things. I would let him do whatever the hell he wanted with me. Same if I saw Stark watching me in the mirror once more. I would invite him into my room and let him fuck me wild.
I scanned the room and eventually found Toby. I’d been trying my hardest not to find Toby appealing because of my history with Trey, but tonight, in his suit, at this charity gala, I couldn’t stop myself from aching for him.
I thought about my conversation with Lucky back at the art gallery, when we were talking about finding one true star. He questioned if Diego was my one true star, when maybe what he should have been asking was if I only had one true star.
Maybe, just maybe, there was a reason I was so intoxicated by all of them.
God, how would that make my father feel? I couldn’t even begin to imagine it. Not only would I be walking away from the business arrangement marriage he’d set up for me to not only choose a man that he would likely deem unworthy, even though he definitely didn’t care about Diego being a scumbag and actually being worthless, but I would also be selecting more than one man. Choosing a non-traditional marriage, a harem with wolf shifters. Yeah, I couldn’t imagine that going down well. He would definitely cut me off. But that would be far more likely to make me happy, which maybe was something I needed to consider. The fact that I had chosen a bad man for myself back when I was young and in college, didn’t mean I’d do the same now.
I slid my eyes closed for a second as I tried to imagine it. My life without my parents in it. A smaller life, one with much less money, but one with men who cared about me and had shown me more love and affection than Diego ever had in the short time I had known them. More than that, I would be able to paint. I could use the publicity from the art gallery to actually forge some kind of career for myself.
Now when I daydreamed about painting on that quiet beach somewhere, I wasn’t alone. I was with Toby, Stark, Wes, and Lucky. It was a really nice fantasy.
“Hey.” I jumped as a silky, chocolatey smooth voice whispered in to my ear. I came back to reality, to the charity gala, and my dreams rushed away. “You want to dance?”
My heart damn near skipped a beat. I turned to see Toby, who was devastatingly handsome in a tuxedo, with his hand outstretched to me.
“Um…dance?” My pulse pounded in my throat as I stared at his hand. I so badly wanted to take it, but I was a little nervous. How would he react if he knew about the thoughts that had just been surging through my mind? “I don’t know, should we?”
Toby nodded emphatically. “I definitely think so.”
I studied him for a couple of moments, wondering what was going on in his head right now. When Toby caught me coming out of the bedroom with Wes earlier today, he looked angry. Or at the very least hurt. I knew I’d affected him by sleeping with Wes, but since it came as a massive surprise to me, there was nothing I could do about it.
But now Toby was smiling at me like we were friends. No, not just friends. More than that. It had felt that way ever since we first got into the limo tonight. The air between us was sizzling as we attempted to make small talk. A part of me knew something would happen. But here? Now?
“Come on,” Toby pleaded, sending a flush through me and hitting my cheeks hard. “Let’s dance. I’m pretty sure it’s expected of us to dance tonight.”
Well, I couldn’t deny that, could I? It was such a rational argument that I couldn’t resist taking the hand Toby was offering me. As soon as his skin brushed against mine, electricity zig zagged in my stomach.
Toby led me to the dance floor with a smoothness that turned my knees to jelly. The music was slow and soft, gentle and romantic. Toby spun me around and pulled me to his chest. Immediately, I laced my fingers through his and rested my head against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat was phenomenal. It was much more captivating that the beat of the music. I barely noticed that instead of moving in time with the song, I was swaying side to side to the beat of his heart. If Toby noticed me being weird, he didn’t say a thing. He went with it, happy to do whatever I wanted.
I inhaled deeply, taking in his intoxicating masculine scent. At least he didn’t smell anything like Trey. Not that I could really recall what Trey smelled like anymore. Thinking about it now, I didn’t even think I was ever that excited about Trey as a person. It was the way that I had romanticised him in my head, the way I daydreamed the relationship to be. I probably wasn’t really even in love with him, I just thought I was.
But thank God I didn’t end up with Trey, because I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere but with Toby right now, leaning into him and feeling his strong hands on me.
Eventually, Toby pulled back just a little to look into my eyes. Honestly, as we connected like this, it was almost as if Trey never existed. Just because they were twins, didn’t make them the same person. The closer I got to Toby, the less like Trey he was.
And that was what made it damn near impossible to stop my heart from racing for him. I was falling, tumbling into love for this man…for all the men…and I couldn’t stop myself.
“My brother never deserved a woman like you,” Toby whispered, almost as if he couldn’t stop himself from saying the words. “And the same for your husband-to-be. I know I shouldn’t say anything, I know it isn’t my place. It’s wrong, really wrong, but I can’t help myself. I think you should know how much better than him you are.”
My heart leapt up into my throat. I’d been thinking similar things, and I’d heard it as well, but somehow, Toby’s words struck me hard. So hard I could hardly catch my breath. All the while, our eyes couldn’t look away from each other. The magnetic pull between us was overwhelming, and Toby’s words were definitely bringing us closer together. Physically as well as emotionally.
He reached out and brushed my cheek, drawing closer to me. The heat of his breath tickled my lips so intensely, I slid my eyes closed and pursed my lips out to him. Toby was about to kiss me, and holy shit I wanted that. I’d tried to resist Toby, but I couldn’t anymore, and I didn’t want to anymore.
I wanted him, I needed him, and I couldn’t keep fighting it.
But then, much to my surprise, the cold hit me instead. Toby was gone. He hadn’t just pulled back from kissing me, he was gone. Because I was so disoriented, it didn’t quite feel real.
I caught a glimpse of Toby leaving the dance floor and then the room. I was very much alone, and it was devastating. I almost wanted to fall to my knees and scream out that he needed to come back to me.
The only thing that stopped me was the horror as I noticed other eyes upon me too. Everyone was staring at me like I was a crazy person.
Shit, I thought desperately as I scanned the room. These people…they all knew me. And not just me, but my family as well. Diego’s family on top of that. All these people ran in the same circles and now they were going to be gossiping about me. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Diego was already aware of what had happened.
I tried to figure out how I felt about that, but I wasn’t really sure. I was equal parts numb and self-conscious, all at the same time.
I can’t be here, I realized. I can’t do this anymore.