Chapter twenty-eight
Donovan
Todayisfinallythe day. The last two days have been absolute torture. I’ve wanted nothing more than to run back to Kasey’s apartment and lock us in her room since I saw her a few days ago. How did I ever go weeks without seeing her beautiful face?
I asked Jackson to go home yesterday. He wasn’t thrilled with the idea. I love my brother, but what they say about fish and houseguests is true. We were together nonstop for the last couple of weeks, and my patience was wearing thin. I need to get into a routine, and having him constantly underfoot was getting to me. Even though I appreciated the time and care he took with me, especially the patience he showed me right after I got home from the hospital, it was wearing on both of us. I’ll admit spending last night here by myself was a little lonely. I was used to spending every night with Kasey when I wasn’t on the road, then Jackson during my recovery. Even Sean has been scarce these days. I really must have been a special kind of asshole for him to leave me alone.
My bullet wound has healed nicely, much faster than what the doctors would have expected. Jackson likes to take credit for it, since he was the one playing nurse, cleaning and changing the dressings. Whatever, I’ll let him have it. There is a slight twinge when I use my left arm too much, but nothing terrible. I just have to be careful of how much I move it. All in all, I feel great and I get to see Kasey today, which makes me feel even better.
There’s a knock at my door at exactly twelve. I texted her yesterday to see if she wanted Aiden to pick her up. She told me she was getting dropped off but thanked me for the offer. I get it. She isn’t ready to rely on me even for the simplest things yet. I plan on changing her mind, though. Jackson was right. I need to go after her with the same determination and confidence I had when we met. She deserves nothing less, and I won’t let her slip through my fingers again. As far as I’m concerned, this is a forever deal for me. I know what I want, and she’s it.
I answer the door and there she stands next to a man with graying hair and a keen look in his eyes. This must be Ralph. When she told me he would do the interview, I trusted her judgment. This is her area of expertise and if she thinks he’s better suited for the interview, then he is. I did look him up myself (old habits die hard) and I liked everything I read. He never came off pushy, but he’s still a hell of a writer.
I reach out to shake his hand and introduce myself.
“Donovan Hayes. Nice to meet you, Ralph. I’ve read your stuff. I’m impressed. Glad Kasey suggested you for the interview.”
“Nice to me you, Mr. Hayes. I’m honored this one here thought of me.” He smiles, nodding at Kasey.
“Ralph and I have known each other for years. In fact, I was sitting next to him when you had your first press conference.”
God, I wish I could go back to that day. Seeing Kasey for the first time threw my world for a loop, and I’ve never regretted it. A few things I would have done differently, but never being with her. That will always be the one thing in my life I know I did right.
I see the look in Kasey’s eye as she remembers that day, too. Her eyes mist over and she gently clears her throat.
“Where would you like us, Donovan?” she asks, trying to change the subject.
“How about the living room? I think we’ll be most comfortable there.”
“Sounds good to me.” Ralph comes in. I’m sure he senses the tension between Kasey and me, but he doesn’t let it show. Good man.
I lead us to my living room. Ralph sits in a chair across the coffee table, and Kasey and I take the couch. She isn’t scooted all the way to the corner, so I’ll take that as a good sign. I’m not sure how she feels about being in my apartment again, considering the last time she was here was when we were looking for her sister. She’s staring at the coffee table. I’m wondering if she’s remembering the pictures we had laid out when we were looking for Lindsey, or if she’s remembering… other things.
“Okay. Let’s get started,” Ralph tells us. He sets out an old-school tape recorder—I really like this guy’s style—and begins the interview. Here goes nothing…
About two hours later, we’re finished. That was less painful in some ways and more in others than I thought it would be. I stayed pretty detached from the situation when I wasn’t looking at Kasey, but the few times our eyes met, I saw the torment in them like she was reliving the experience in her mind. I hated seeing that. I hated even more that she wouldn’t let me be there for her the last few weeks, but I take comfort in the fact she’s here now. I hope she sees me as a safe place to land after reliving those awful events.
“Thanks, you two. I think I have everything I need. If I have any follow-up questions, I’ll let you know. I have to say, what you all went through is horrific, but it’s over. Don’t live in the past.” Ralph gives Kasey a meaningful look. They must have gotten to know each other pretty well over the last few years of Kasey being a reporter. She gives him a soft smile and offers to walk him to the door. I take that as a sign she plans to stay. At least for a little while.
When she comes back to the living room, we both sit on the couch and look at each other for longer than the few moments here and there that we’ve been sparing all afternoon. It’s killed me not to grab her and kiss the hell out of her, but I refrained. Barely.
“I guess we should talk,” she says, blowing out a long breath and rubbing her hands up and down her thighs.
“Have you given thought to what I said the other day at your apartment?” I ask her.
“That’s about all I’ve been able to think about for the last two days. I want to say I’m sorry too. I was a mess and my head was going in a million different directions when I found out something happened to my sister, but I should have known you would never hurt her. Or me. That was so wrong of me to throw at you.” Her eyes well with tears, and again, the restraint I’m showing right now by not pulling her in my arms is taking a Herculean effort.
“We both said some really fucked up things to each other. I will never forgive myself for the shit I said to you or the way I made you feel. When you told me we didn’t know each other, it gutted me. We may not have known each other for long, but I showed you parts of myself I had never allowed anyone to see. You saw them because my heart recognized your heart as its other half. I fell in love with you and lost you in such a short period of time, I’m still reeling.”
“Donovan… I have been dying inside without you.” The tears are pouring down her face now. “I was so hurt and so confused and felt so damn guilty that I failed Lindsey. I thought if I pushed everyone away and made her and only her my priority, it would ease the pain and guilt inside. It didn’t, by the way. I think all it did was drive her crazy and make me more miserable.” She slides closer to me on the couch and puts her hands on my face, cradling my cheeks. I can’t help myself and turn my face into her touch, kissing her palm.
“Donovan, I am so in love with you and so scared, but I know one thing for sure, I do not want to live a life that you're not a part of. There was really no going back for me after the first time you licked my neck.” She smiles at the memory, through the tears streaming down her face.
That’s it. I can’t take another moment of not kissing her. I lean forward and lick her neck like I did that first night, tasting her sweet skin.
“Mmm, even better than I imagined.” I repeat the same words I said to her that first night, then slam my mouth over hers, taking her gasp as an invitation to kiss her thoroughly, tongues dueling, with the taste of her tears on our lips. I break the kiss and wipe her tears away with my hands.
“I love you, Kasey. You’re it for me. That was the last time we’re ever apart again, you hear me? I will never let you run from me like that again. You’re mine and I’m yours.” I hold her hand to my heart, right under where the bullet almost took me away from her. I hope she can see the certain truth in my eyes. I mean every word I’m saying to her right now.
“I love you too. I’ll never run again.” She gives me that smile. The smile that tells me she has a smart-ass comment to add, “Besides, I know it won’t be any use. Don’t think I didn’t see Aiden outside my apartment more than once.”
Ah, there’s my girl. I kiss her again, relishing her taste. God, I’ve missed her mouth.