“I think that would be nice! I would love that.”
I grinned wide at the genuine enthusiasm I heard in my dad’s voice. After another minute of conversation, we hung up awkwardly as usual, but with laughter in our voices so I considered it very much a win.
I was still sitting with a smile on my face when the front door of the townhouse swung open. I sat up straight on the steps, getting ready for some snark in case it was Rachel. But it wasn’t.
It was Lukas and I knew the second I laid eyes on him that something was wrong.
“Hey,” I frowned, standing up. Light and breezy a second before, my heart felt suddenly heavy as Lukas walked straight into my arms.
“Tired,” he muttered.
“And?” Standing a step above him, I hugged his head to my chest. “I can tell something’s wrong, Lukas. Can you tell me what?” I asked. He heaved a sigh.
“Let’s go upstairs.”
We went into his apartment and once the door closed behind us, I asked him again. “Please tell me something, Lukas,” I pleaded gently.
“Cam broke into my office today.”
My jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”
“Yes but it’s fine. No one got hurt,” Lukas said, tipping his head to the side as he loosened his tie.
“You look exhausted.”
“I am.” He tossed his tie onto the couch. Turning to me, he cupped my elbows. “Listen, if you see a guy around here, six feet, kind of sandy blonde hair and a funny shaped face, that’s Cam,” he said. “If you so much as see him even on this block, you call me.”
“Why, is he going to hurt me?” I asked incredulously. “Why would he care about me?”
Lukas shook his head. “I don’t know. Because he’ll do anything to get under my skin and he already fucked with Tess so now he’s looking for other options.”
My eyes fluttered. “What did he do to Tess?”
“I don’t think I can explain all that right now.”
“Well, try,” I pressed, surprising myself – and him too, apparently, because he looked up at me confused. “Sorry. I just…” I let go of a sigh. “I don’t think I can keep pretending anymore.”
“Pretending what?”
“That I’m totally fine with being left in the dark,” I said. “You ask me questions, I answer. I ask you questions, you dodge them. From the start, you’ve made me open up to you. You made me confess every little thing about my life to you but when I try to get to know you beyond the little fantasy bubble we’re in, the wall goes up. And I’m not your girlfriend, I know that, so I shouldn’t care. But I do. I care about you.”
Standing in the middle of the living room, I looked at him, feeling like this had to be the point where I should stop talking. I could easily get away with “I care about you” but not the rest of what I had to say. But my lips were itching to blurt it all out and my heart was aching to get it off my chest.
“I like you a lot, Lukas.” Shit. There it is. “More than I know what to do with,” I admitted with a laugh that was both bitter and sheepish. “And honestly, I’m disturbed by the fact that I’ve had the most success in my career while seeing you because it proves my last three years wrong. It means I don’t have to be only work or only play – I can have it all if I want to. I could’ve been doing that this whole time but now that I’ve had you, I don’t think I want anyone else and it sucks because you’re clearly not interested beyond a certain point,” I said, losing my breath. “You roped me in, you chased me and you got me basically hooked on you. But you’re keeping me at a distance because while I’m sure you like me, you like me best for one thing, and that’s sex.”
“That’s not true,” Lukas said without missing a beat.
“No?” I crossed my arms. “Prove it.”
His stare challenged mine. “Come away with me tomorrow. I’ll tell you everything you want to know and I won’t fuck you unless you tell me to.”
My eyes fluttered in surprise. “You’re going away, too? Where?”
“I don’t know yet. I just need to get out.”
“Because of the anniversary?”
Lukas stared. “How do you know about that?”