Staring.
Livid.
I could see the rise and fall of his chest from where I was at the edge of the pool, his fury so dark I could barely enjoy it.
Because this wasn’t like the other times.
It wasn’t playful torment. A little game. It was real.
Actual pain that hurt to the bone.
“Oh my goodness, Holland, you did not have to do that!” A.J gasped, throwing her arms around me after I handed over her phone. “Poor thing, there’s a breeze right now. Adam—get her a towel!” she called down to my brother, who was already going off somewhere to find me a towel. And when he came back with what didn’t look like a towel, she groaned to the skies and ran off to get a “real” one.
And unsurprisingly, Adam went with her, leaving me alone with his grinning, laughing friends.
But no Iain.
I didn’t know where he was and he didn’t come back for ten minutes.
Maybe he had left. Forced himself not to care.
The thought alone hurt me almost as much as his words had before.
It doesn’t matter what you think.
He knew it would hurt me when he said it.
But he had no idea just how much.
It was hurting me so much right now that I’d do anything to forget it. To erase it from my brain.
I can’t be here right now, I realized.
So without waiting for Adam and A.J to come back, I slipped away from the group.
I just had to go.
To just get out of this place. To not have to think of those words.
It doesn’t matter what you think.
I was already scared of having them play on repeat in my head all night. Having them be the last thing I heard before I went to sleep. So when Caleb found me at the elevators, I didn’t completely ignore him like I did when I got out of the pool. I didn’t smile, but I returned his gaze as he gave me a laugh.
“Kind of hard to Irish goodbye w
hen you leave a trail of water everywhere you go,” he said before he furrowed his brow. “You okay?”
I stared blankly at him. “Yeah. I just want to get home,” I said. “Had a long day at the beach.”
“I get that,” he nodded, quiet for a few seconds. Then he gave my wet body the once over before taking off his blazer. “Any chance you need an escort?”
34
HOLLAND
I took my hair out and peeled off my wet clothes as soon as I got back to my apartment. I changed into the black silk robe I had been saving for what tonight was supposed to have been.
And I tried to scrub Iain’s words from my mind by letting Caleb touch me.