It took me a few seconds to get past my initial amusement to realize exactly why Cole was sending it to me though, but when I realized, I gasped sharply enough to startle someone passing my office.
“Sorry!” I called after them, though they were already gone and I really wasn’t that sorry. I was too busy dealing with a suddenly thumping heartbeat as I noticed the raggedly torn piece of folded paper left in the box. My hands snatched it fast, like it might poof and disappear if I didn’t, and when I opened it, I squinted, finding myself looking at messy handwriting I could barely make out.
Do whatever you want with this.
Cole
I stared.
At the note then the phone. And when I realized the phone was charged, I quickly peeked into the camera roll, finding scores of videos recorded from the month of June.
Sixteen years ago.
I wasn’t sure if it was a breach of privacy but Cole’s note did say to do whatever I wanted so I played the first video I clicked, a chill erupting over my skin as I heard Cole’s voice sounding younger?
??much younger—as he gave a tour of a school. His school.
I laughed as he said “this is my locker” before opening the locker and cursing in surprise as a deluge of binders and papers and empty Gatorade bottles spilled out. “Yeah, so… still as messy as ever,” he laughed, the camera shaking as he tried to pick everything up.
My heart skipped several beats as I realized that thirteen-year-old Cole hadn’t actually ignored Adam’s attempts to reach out. Why he’d never sent the videos, I didn’t know. But I was pretty sure his note was giving me tacit permission to do exactly that on his behalf—sixteen years later.
I was so thrilled I reached for my phone to text Adam only to remember as I was going into my Recents that he wasn’t there.
“Dammit, AJ,” I hissed at myself before just sitting still at my desk for awhile. Potentially a full twenty minutes. I honestly had no idea how long it was. I’d lost track of time as I got lost in my thoughts, which were only a mix of happy and sad because I was happy for Adam, and I wanted to be happy beside him.
But just because I couldn’t be didn’t mean I couldn’t take joy in this moment, because I didn’t know what this phone meant for sure, but I knew it was definitely something. A gesture.
Or a baby step.
The next few minutes were spent wondering if I should send the phone to Adam’s house or the office. Given our currently non-existent relationship, I figured it would be less invasive and potentially hurtful if I sent it to the office instead of his house. But then I wrinkled my nose wondering who his assistant was these days and if that person guarded his door well enough to keep say, Kenzie, from going in and potentially opening the package.
Even you know she probably wouldn’t do that, I told myself.
But since I was paranoid, I decided the plan was to send the package to Liza to hand deliver to Adam. For whatever reason, it gave me the most peace of mind so before I could waffle again, I picked up the phone and sent Liza a text asking if she could deliver something to Adam’s office for me.
I expected her to text back immediately with something along the lines of an enthusiastic “of course” or “sure” but instead, I watched her type for what felt like seven whole minutes before she finally sent a text back.
LIZA: Hey girl! I can’t tell you how much I miss you. And Adam. He doesn’t work here anymore. I feel weird telling you this because I would’ve guessed you knew since he’s also on the East Coast now. He switched agencies.
My heart stopped.
I processed the shock of him leaving the job he loved at Engelman only to tackle the shock of knowing he had to be in New York.
In the same damned city as me.
I couldn’t imagine he was anywhere else.
The only other agency he’d be caught dead switching to was another top-tier heavy-hitter, and the best one on the East Coast was Thorn Sports.
Seriously?
I tried to grapple with all my warring emotions.
I felt a natural relief steep in my bones just from knowing he was nearby. But at the same time, I felt incredibly hurt. And insulted. He knew I had come here to get space. To distinguish my career from his.
And all I wanted was to be a medium-sized fish in this city, but if Adam and Iain were here working together, there was no way I could avoid hearing about them constantly. They were the exact kind of best friend duo the media salivated over, and with their client list together, there would be no doing my job without having to compare to them somehow.
My heart was still pounding when I texted back Liza.