“You put me through every kind of hell tonight, Sash.”
“I know,” I whispered.
“It didn’t have to happen. None of this tonight had to happen.”
Fresh tears burned my eyes. “I know, Liam, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I do to you. You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve the way I deal with problems, or all the anxiety I have. You don’t deserve the burden I’ve put on you every day since you met me.”
His fury was instant. “Don’t.”
“What?”
“Don’t use that word with me.”
My breath caught in my throat, I realized what he was referring to. Burden. He hated that word, but I couldn’t think of a better one to describe myself with – especially not tonight.
“Look, Sasha. The reality is that we could easily end the bullshit,” Liam muttered, fastening the buttons of his shirt over his chest. “We could’ve gone to dinner tonight together. As a couple. I don’t know what makes you think it’ll be any easier to tell Riley the truth in a year or two. It’ll only be harder, so just do it now. There’s no sense in prolonging the inevitable.”
My jaw tightened. I hated hearing his words because they were true. It was easy to make excuses, especially with Aria’s hopeful encouragement, but the reality was that the truth would hurt no matter when I revealed it. “What about you? There’s no one in your life who you wouldn’t want to know about us? Your dad? All the girls who are in love with you?”
“If you think I have the slightest shit to give about strangers, you don’t know me as well as I thought you did.”
“They’re practically a part of your gym, Liam,” I argued. “They fund your trainees.
“They might make a couple things easier, but my gym will stay on its feet as long as A.J, Max and I are there to hold it up, you know that. You know I don’t need anyone else to keep my business running, so don’t use that as a goddamned excuse to keep yourself miserable,” Liam snarled. His words stung so viciously I wanted to shove him.
“What about your family, for God’s sake? Your dad?”
“Let him think what he thinks, Sasha! I don’t give a flying fuck.”
“Well, I do,” I argued. “And even more than that, I give a shit what my mom thinks!”
“For the last fucking time, why?” Liam shouted, the rage in his voice igniting flames under my skin.
“You know why!” I screamed. “You know, so stop trying to make me say it!”
His face was inches from mine now. I tried to push him away but he refused to let it go. “Say it. Just fucking say it, Sasha, so you can hear how goddamned ridiculous it sounds!”
“You’re just trying to torture me – ”
“Say it.”
“I don’t want to look like some serial offender, okay, Liam?” I broke down in hysterical tears. But Liam didn’t console me. He pulled back and shook his head in disgust, and it only made me sob harder.
“There’s no fucking way you can believe that, Sasha. Is that what you think this is?”
“Of course not, but in my mother’s eyes, that’s what it is, Liam. In her eyes, I have a problem, okay? I’m sick. And I know she’s wrong but you know what, it still fucking hurts me. I still want her to hold me and kiss me and just like me the way she used to. I want to feel like I have a family, and there’s no doing that if my mom thinks I jumped from sleeping with my stepfather to my stepbrother!”
“You can’t possibly fucking compare me with him!” Liam hissed. “You can’t fucking put me in the same breath as that piece of shit.”
“Liam, I am not, I’m speaking from my mother’s – ”
“He was the one who was sick, Sasha. He was the grown fucking adult who took advantage of a fifteen-year-old, and your mother knows that, but she won’t admit it because her life is a whole lot easier when she’s blameless and you’re the scapegoat, which is fucking revolting and infuriating, but the worst part of it, Sash, is that you let her treat you like this. You’re not that girl anymore. You’re a grown woman and you deserve to live for yourself. I swear you do. Just try it. Do whatever makes you happy,” Liam implored, emotion rising in his voice. “As long as you’re not hurting anyone, fuck the rest of the world – including Riley or your mother or anyone else who thinks they can live freely at your expense. Fucking try it, Sasha,” he pleaded, eyes blazing. “I swear to God, you will never go back.”
I wasn’t sure when he’d pulled me back to him, but I was clinging to his body like I’d never let go. I cried against his chest, but I barely made any sound.
“What can I fucking do? What can I do to show you, Sash?” Liam’s whisper was soft but urgent. “Tell me. I’m begging you right now, if there’s anything you think will help, I will find it. I’ll do whatever it takes to hunt it down and put it in your hands so you can have peace. I swear, Sash. Help me. Let me make you happy.”
“You make me happy.”