“Oh God, word problems? The worst.”
“I know. My favorite though,” he laughed, his green eyes squinting as he genuinely tried to solve my problem. We both laughed when he finally gave up. “Yeah, I’ll take the F on that one. I can’t figure it out but I’m guessing someone lied to you.”
“Bingo,” I smirked, our eyes finally locking in a gaze that wasn’t completely awkward. “A-plus.”
“Sorry I’m right.”
“That’s fine. I just… God, I’ve just been lied to way too many times and I just can’t take another one,” I murmured. “I swear the next time someone lies to me I’m gonna snap,” I joked, feigning a gasp when Mr. Teacher dropped his eyes. “Oh no. Did you lie to me too?” I teased. But my smile quivered when he let his legs down and drew his hand over his face.
“I’m sorry.”
“What?” My instinct was to laugh because I couldn’t imagine how he could’ve lied in just the past five minutes. But as the silence stretched longer by the second, I found myself frowning hard. “I don’t even know your name. What could you have lied about?”
“I, uh…” The hollows of his cheeks flexed as he tightened his jaw. “I guess it was by omission. My lie. I should’ve told you from the start that she wasn’t here anymore but I didn’t.”
I blinked and stared. “Who? Mrs. Nolan? She doesn’t work here anymore?”
His eyes flirted with looking elsewhere before he told me but then he brought himself to meet my gaze as he broke the news. “She passed last year. Her car skidded on ice.”
My heart sunk like a weight as my mouth fell wide open. My glassy eyes stared down at the four-paged letter in my hand. “Oh my God,” I whispered, my chest twisting in shock.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have led you on.”
“Why did you?” There was no anger in my voice but I had to ask.
“It was just instinct. I could tell you really wanted to see her and you had that long-ass letter written, so I figured you’d just be… happier not knowing the truth.” He shrugged. “I guess I wasn’t thinking about the possibility of you trying to find her home address or coming back another time to look for her. Figured I’d let you go home in peace.”
I sucked my bottom lip in, repeating his words in my head. I wanted you to go home in peace. I blinked away my tears for Mrs. Nolan as I looked up from my letter to him. “It wasn’t really your place to make that decision,” I said. But the moment the words left my lips I felt as if they sounded harsh.
“I recognize that now,” he admitted, eyes downcast. “It was just… human instinct, I guess.” He raked his hands through his hair. “When you like someone, you don’t want to see them hurt. Simple as that.”
“You don’t like me or know me.”
“You’re right, I don’t. But I like you enough. You seemed like a nice person from the first few seconds that you spoke to me and I didn’t have the heart to break yours. Same way I don’t have the heart to tell my mom that she doesn’t actually have the secret to cooking turkey that isn’t dry. Her turkey’s fucking awful but I’ll never let her know it. I just don’t want to be the one to ruin her happy and perfectly harmless perception of herself. No one wants to be that prick.” He paused and gave thought. “Except maybe my step-dad.” When he cracked a real smile, I managed to almost do the same.
“Fair enough,” I finally said. And to my own surprise, I meant it.
Watching me get up off the desk, his shoulders fell a bit. “Leaving now because you’re mad at me?”
“I don’t know you well enough to be mad at you. But I get why you did what you did. You were protecting me from the truth. Human instinct,” I repeated his words. “And I guess I ca
n say I appreciate it,” I added, tucking my letter back into my coat.
“I’m glad. If you want, I can make it up to you by bringing you home to meet my disaster of a stepfamily. They’re probably hammered by now. They’ll be better than anything you watch on Bravo.”
I laughed a bit. “No, better not. For your sake and mine. But I hope you have fun grading papers tonight.”
“They’re word problems, so you know I will.” Watching me head toward the door, he was silent. But once my hand touched the knob, he blurted, “Can I know your name?”
I stopped and turned around. “Taylor. Simms. Yours?”
“Ben Locklear.”
I took a last look at his face and put his name to it. “Mr. Locklear. Thanks for letting me learn something from you today,” I said. “Or at least giving me something to think about.” He nodded. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he didn’t want to see me go, but he didn’t know me well enough to say that. And I was glad because I needed to get back to the B&B to call Lori and perhaps pack my bags to go home. “Merry Christmas, Ben. It was really nice meeting you.”
“You too, Taylor. Merry Christmas,” he said. Once I was in the hallway, he called after me. “I hope you have a happy New Year, too!”
I called back. “Me too!”