“Jake – ”
“I know,” he interrupted me with frustration. “I need to stop. You’re going to be my brother’s wife. I can’t think about you or look at you or want you. I know all of that.”
His words hung in the air as I swallowed. “Yes,” I finally said. “I’m glad you know. Let me get you pajamas so you can get to bed. The guest room is down the hall from the kitchen.”
I disappeared into the bedroom and thanked God that Jake didn’t follow. But when I returned, he still stood there in the hall, thick lust visible in his green eyes. I looked down. My hair had shifted out of place from sifting through Jackson’s closet. Cursing, I moved to cover my breasts again but the ends of Jake’s lips twisted upward.
“Nothing I haven’t already seen. Or touched.”
“We’re not going to talk about that night again, Jake. In fact, we shouldn’t even think about it.”
“I’d love that but every time I pass the stairs in my apartment, I think about all the sounds that came out of your mouth when I made you come. The first time and the second time.”
My heart pounded like a hammer. “Jake, why are you doing this?” I demanded. “Are you okay with all of this? The fact that you fucked your brother’s fiancée?”
His eyes went steely. “No. I’m not okay with anything, Lara. I don’t know how to take any of the news that you told me today, especially since Jackson hasn’t said a word to match your story,” Jake answered through gritted teeth. “I have no clue what to think and it’s driving me fucking crazy because all I do know is that we had sex before I knew who you were and now I can’t stop fucking thinking about it. I can’t stop wishing to touch your body. I can’t stop wishing to be buried inside you again because you felt fucking unreal. I’ve been trying to erase the thought of you from my head but I can’t. You’re the most perfect thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. And I figured, shit, it was for the best when I woke up the next morning and you were gone. I thought I could stop this infatuation before it grew into something that would take over my mind but I can’t even do that now because here you are. Engaged to my brother.” The hollow of his cheek twitched as his jaw tightened. “I’m always going to hear about you. I’m always going to see you. And every time I see you, I’m going to have to remind myself that I can’t look at you or touch you the way I did last night and I know it’s going to drive me fucking insane.”
His words had me reeling and I told myself it wasn’t because I felt anything similar. “Jake,” I started, my breath so shaky that my teeth chattered. “Look… you’re drunk right now – ”
“Stop.”
“You’re not thinking straight, you’re – ”
“I know exactly what the fuck I’m thinking, Lara. I’m a grown man. I know when I’ve had something different. Something I’ve never had before. And I know from the look on your face that you feel the same way too, so don’t stand here and try to – ”
“Please – what do you think you know about me?” I challenged angrily. “What do you think it is that I felt that night?”
“Something more than just two stranger
s fucking on the floor,” Jake hissed at me. “I dreamt of you the whole night and thought of you the second I woke up, Lara. Look me in the eye and tell me it wasn’t the same for you.”
“It wasn’t,” I lied.
He shook his head at me, somehow knowing better. “I made you feel better than anything you’ve ever felt in your life.”
That’s not true, I told myself. That’s not true, that’s not true. That’s just not true. If I repeated it enough, I might believe it. Speechless, my chest heaved. “I’ll show you to the guest room,” I finally said, hoping we could somehow drop the entire conversation. Walking past him and down the stairs, I heard him follow, quiet until we were past Jackson, past the kitchen and headed down the hall.
“Tell me it felt different, Lara.”
I ignored him, my throat tightening. Once I was inside the guest room, I beelined for the bed, slamming Jake’s change of clothes onto the end of the mattress. I wanted to spin around and snap something at him. I wanted to shove him and tell him never to mention the other night again.
But instead I held my breath, sensing him standing right behind mine. The heat of his chest was on my back. I cursed my body as I felt something ripple up the back of my thighs. Anticipation. I had felt the same thing last night going up the stairs – before he’d grabbed me and thrust his hands between my thighs, letting me rub myself against him.
“Jake,” I breathed a warning when I felt his hands on my waist. But he ignored it. He buried his face in the curve of my neck, desire rumbling from his chest as he pressed his torso against my back. I gasped when I felt his erection jump between our bodies, my fingers curling with lust into Jackson’s T-shirt and shorts. Don’t, I told myself. But the only thoughts circling my head were about feeling Jake inside me again.
And without thinking, I bent over. Right away, Jake thrust his hips against me, rubbing his hard cock against my ass. I closed my eyes and rolled my head back, dizzy with arousal as I heard him grunt. Biting my lip, I bent further until his erection pressed flat against my pussy. “Oh God,” I breathed, grinding against him, ripples of pleasure shooting through my body. My sex throbbed so hard against him that I knew he could feel it through his jeans because he groaned, louder and louder until he suddenly ripped his body away from me.
“Fuck!” he growled, thrusting his fingers through his hair.
“Sh!” I hissed desperately, panicked as I waited for Jackson to stir. But in the sudden quiet of the room, I could still make out the sound of his snoring. I stared frantically at Jake, waiting for him to say something, waiting for eye contact so I could apologize for what I’d just done. What was I thinking? We weren’t supposed to look at or touch each other in that way again. Ever.
But instead of meeting my gaze, Jake cursed and tore off his shirt. He didn’t so much as glance my way before pushing through the bathroom door.
Upstairs in my room, after my pulse returned to normal, I lay alone in bed. Rubbing over my panties, I closed my eyes, hating myself as I imagined Jake in the shower, the lined muscles in his forearms twitching as he jerked off the hot, pulsing erection I’d given him.
Chapter Seventeen
“I’m getting the feeling you don’t like this one very much.” The calligrapher recommended to me by Sofie Winter put away the beautiful, matte wedding invitation in her hands, plucking another with her perfectly manicured fingers.