Discipline

“That’s not even it. His ex apparently took a liking to Tory so Dane made Tory stay with her for the weekend while he went to Vermont. But not before giving them a video camera.”

“I can’t.” Adriana was actually rocking back and forth at this point. She gasped for breath as if I were exhausting her. “And so making you go on vacation with Dane was Ben’s way of one-upping him? Proving that he could lend you too?”

“That’s what I figured. That he saw how much he’d gotten away with and wanted to see if he could go further with me. And that’s where I woke the hell up and drew the line — way too late, I know. We had a big blowup, I said I wanted to leave him, I slept on the couch that night and the next night when he came home from work, he proposed.” I laughed. “His idea of patching things up, I guess. Because after you arrange to lend your girlfriend to another man for a week, she’s really going to want to spend the rest of her life with you.”

I exhaled long and hard, realizing how much I’d needed to let that story out. It felt as if I’d shed something disgusting, slimy. The skin of it at least.

It was that and the fact that he’d asked for something so despicable just so he could outdo another guy. To prove his manliness. It was beyond degrading. It made me wish for the days when I thought that “degrading” was dressing up in frilly dresses for my mother and attending some woman’s luncheon despite knowing that she and her kids, whom I went to school with, referred to me as “retarded” for getting C’s in a non-AP class.

Not that I’d do anything for my mother again. I’d spent the past three years letting Ben chip away at me, my independence and my ability to exist without him. And all for her to tell me that I should let him. Simply because of his money, his ability to fund her image as some suburban socialite.

“I’m glad you’re free again,” Adriana whispered after some silence. She took my hand. “We’re going to make up for lost time, girl. From now on, you do what you want, when you want, how you want. You don’t owe anyone anything. You never did. Do what makes you happy. Break every last rule that your mother or Ben made for you.” She planted a kiss on my cheek. “Okay? It’s time for you to officially start over.”

CHAPTER 8

“Where did you get that?” Kelsey asked from her desk as I passed her door on the way to the bathroom. “And where are you going now?”

It was a poppy dress with triangle cutouts at each side of the waist and it was for a night on the town with the girls, which would start at Todos Santos since both Adriana and Em were scheduled for the night. They would be getting out sometime around 1AM and since it was closing in on 11PM, Linh and I planned on waiting at the bar until we were all ready to go elsewhere.

“I got it at that little store on Ninth Street,” I answered Kelsey. “And I’m not sure exactly where I’m going tonight. I’m just meeting the girls at Todos and then Adriana has something planned for us, I think.”

“Of course she does.” Kelsey’s voice was somewhat sullen. I heard her toss something onto her desk with a sigh, probably a pen. “Aren’t you exhausted from going out so much? You’ve been definitely going a little crazy the past few weeks.”

I had indeed let loose since the call with Mom, but there was certainly nothing “too crazy” about it. While there were nights of drinking and dancing with the girls, there was also a good amount of sleeping over at Em’s house since she lived alone and had the best groceries, pairing stroopwafels from Trader Joe’s with our red wine and watching Bravo for hours before passing out.

“I think I’m making up for lost girl time,” I laughed as I decided to go for a third coat of mascara. For you, Ben, I thought sardonically, remembering the way he’d always throw a tantrum if I wore too much eye makeup.

“Well.” Kelsey was quiet for a little. “Have fun. While I sit here and watch Netflix for the next eight hours.”

I paused while staring into the mirror. “Do you want to come?” It was a question I always asked her back when I worked at the restaurant and had yet to mee

t Ben. Whether it was something at the restaurant or the bar next door or some other event that someone from Todos was throwing or invited to, there was always somewhere to go or something to do. And every time, I invited Kelsey, but every time, her answer was the same.

“I don’t have anything to wear.”

“Yes you do. Just belt one of your tank dresses and call it a day. And if you don’t like that, you can always borrow one of my… two cool outfits,” I snorted at myself. Despite waking up with a hangover from last night, I was brighter and more chipper than ever. Something about Adriana’s words last night had lifted a weight from my shoulders and breathed life back into my body. Unfortunately, Kelsey seemed to be in a mood opposite from mine.

I heard her groan. “It’s going to be awkward when all of you find some hot dude to flirt with for the night and I’m just like, ninth wheelin’ it. Besides, I’m pretty sure people would look at you guys and then me and be like, ‘How is she even hanging out with them?’”

I stepped out of the bathroom to stare into her room, incredulous. “Kelsey! Why are you being so negative?”

“Because boys don’t like me,” she whined, her voice playful to hide the fact that she wasn’t kidding. I knew her well enough.

“Kelsey, you go to a school that’s like, ninety-five percent women and the five percent that are guys aren’t into girls. You don’t know that boys don’t like you, so just come out tonight!” My sense of rejuvenation was suddenly feeling a need to spread itself to others. “If you really want, we can have Linh come over with some of her clothes for you to try on! You guys are both around five-foot-three, right?”

“Except she’s skinny and I’m not.”

“Oh my Lord, stop. I’m calling her now.”

By midnight, I arrived at Todos Santos with Linh and Kelsey, who wore an acid wash maxi dress belonging to Linh, but with a mismatched cardigan from her own closet because she deemed her arms “too fat to be naked around a bunch of skinny minis.”

“Oh my God, you guys look so cute!” Adriana squealed when she saw us. “And Kelsey! You came!” She tugged at the long sleeve of Kelsey’s linen cardigan. “But, girl, I’m going to cut this off of you if you don’t take it off now.”

Giggling, Kelsey took the cardigan off but only to put it back on once Adriana was out of sight and Harry was in. He stood before us behind the bar, already pouring four shots.

“Gonna be a good night.” He winked.

He wasn’t lying. By 2AM, we were all having too much fun to care about going to whatever party in Williamsburg that Adriana had us on a list for. Along with a few late-staying regulars, the Todos staff danced about the bar, drinking and laughing to the point that people began knocking on the windows outside, hoping to come in despite the sign on the door being flipped to say ‘Closed.’