Discipline

“Why not?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, I just haven’t.”

”There isn’t anything wrong with it, especially when it’s just friends or you and your man. Like, I know I’m a loudmouth but my rule is that as long as you’re not in public or talking so loud that you’re forcing your sex life on people who don’t want to hear it, go for it. Talk about sex. Find out what you like. Positions, length, girth, lubes, porn, costumes. Toys.” She arched an eyebrow at me. “Roleplay. Student-teacher fantasies.”

I bit my both lips back. “Mm, yeah, definitely had some of those.”

“Perfect. Tell me about it.”

“Ade, no! They’re for my head only.”

“Well, give me a summary so I know you aren’t still weird about saying the word ‘finger.’”

I groaned. “Fine. It involves having hot, sweaty sex on his desk in his classroom. Shades down but door unlocked. Happy?”

“Oh, door unlocked? Delighted,” Adriana giggled. She then shook her head and clucked her tongue. “Kind of unfair that Kelsey cockblocked you just because she needed a shoulder to cry on. Barely anything happened to make her upset. But I guess she’s one of those drunks.”

Apparently, she was — either deliriously happy or miserably depressed. According to the girls, she had become the latter last night around the time that I left. It was when the cute line cook turned his attention to soccer highlights on Marco’s phone and perhaps to regain his attention, Kelsey joined Adriana in a dance on the bar top. Judging from her tears when I returned to the restaurant, I would have thought that she’d done something mortifying like fall on her ass in the middle of a twerk attempt. But apparently, all it took for her to lock herself in a bathroom for fifteen minutes was a lack of attention paid to her dancing.

“Em clapped for her,” Adriana said, shrugging as we headed down to the lockers, where we kept our bags.

“Don’t worry about it. Kelsey’ll be fine,” I said, though I wasn’t quite sure if that was true. I’d woken up this morning to see her looking hungover and dejected while packing a weekend bag, having decided to go home to Woodhill for a couple days.

“True. She’s a big girl. You shouldn’t have to worry about her too much. Especially not with a hot date tonight.”

After locking the door behind Kelsey, I’d checked my phone to see a text from Daniel. He had stayed in the city last night with Mike. And I’d be seeing him in less than a half hour. Simply anticipating his presence made my blood rush with excitement.

“Damn, girl. Get ‘im,” Adriana said, checking me out from head to toe once I changed into my outfit for the night — a sim

ple jersey tank dress that ended mid-thigh, mint-colored and stretchy so that it hugged my body in all the right places. It was perfectly summery for the late July weather. Adriana nodded with approval as I gave my hair a few flips before fanning it over my shoulders. “He’s going to have trouble tonight,” she said.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see.”

I had a feeling I knew, but I fully understood the moment Daniel spotted me at our meeting place — a cozy, thirty-seat restaurant deep in the West Village. It was breezy so I’d put a cropped white jacket on over the dress, but Daniel’s brows still lifted when he saw me coming toward him in my nude crisscross espadrilles with the tie around the ankle. I couldn’t help delighting at his expression.

“That’s not right,” he said, his laugh muffled as he bit his fist.

“What?”

“Nothing, this is just… going to be hard.”

I smiled, confused but charmed. “Why?”

Daniel stood there simply shaking his head for a second. “You look unbelievably sexy right now. But I made myself a promise before coming here.” When I cocked my head curiously, he bit his grin back, somewhat wincing at himself. “I can’t touch you tonight, Nina. I have to make this a proper date.”

I raised my eyebrows, probably unable to hide the surprise on my face. And the disappointment. Bringing my hand to my mouth, I chewed on the tip of my nail, realizing that I’d gone into the night with every intention of sleeping with Daniel. It was quite easily the first time that I’d ever thought about jumping into bed with someone on the very first date. In high school, I’d had two boyfriends, the second of whom I’d actually slept with and lost my virginity to. It had taken four months of dating for me to even consider it, and five-and-a-half months for it to actually happen.

During college, especially while partying alongside Adriana, I’d fooled around with a couple guys but I hadn’t come close to sleeping with anyone.

And then there was Ben. We’d gone out seven times before ever going back to his apartment after dinner.

But Daniel — I hadn’t been on a single date with him and I was already desperate to feel my body between his and my sheets. Even after realizing how it was entirely too soon for that to happen, my feelings remained. I couldn’t help it. I wanted him. Badly. Every inch of my body ached to feel his press against mine. The fact that he’d resolved not to lay a finger on me had me feeling already tortured.

Silent as I wet my lips, I watched Daniel give himself a long gaze at me, his own torture sloping in his eyebrows.

“I’ve never been more physically attracted to anyone as I am to you, Nina. I’ve never had anyone test my discipline the way you do. But as much as you make me want to be that guy who skips the whole night to take the girl straight to his place, I’m not. Or rather, I don’t want to let myself be.”