Discipline

“That’s interesting, but I had us winning by a run.”

I pouted with mock pity. “That’s cute.”

“Wow, alright,” Daniel laughed. “Well, how about we make a bet on it?”

I flinched, surprising myself. But I quickly recovered. “Sure. What do you want to bet?”

Daniel didn’t answer. He studied me for a moment, my eyes, my lips in a way that made me feel as if I’d just been stripped bare. “What was that?” he finally asked with a little smile.

“Hm?”

“I said the word ‘bet’ and you flinched.”

“Oh. I, um.” I made a silly face, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear as I tried to play it off. “It’s… ex-related. He was obsessed with betting. One-upping. He ruined baseball and a lot of other things for me because it started to feel like the only reason he ever cared about anything was because it might get him money or prestige.”

Daniel raised his eyebrows, the faint smile slowly sliding off his lips. “That sounds all too familiar.”

“What do you mean?”

“Cara was similar.”

“How so?”

He winced as he rubbed his stubble. “She acted differently once people in town found out that we were together. They were for some reason fascinated with us and she was for some reason possessed by the need to be who they thought we were. A perfect couple from some romantic movie. It took less than a year for the person I fell for to turn into someone completely artificial. Premeditated. Her main priority was keeping people interested in her life, like she was the star of some reality show. Suddenly, she was blowing paychecks on bags and shoes that she couldn’t afford and had never been interested in before. She had no passion for her job anymore — she just wanted to be ‘taken care of’ like the new friends who brought her out to their big lunches or events. When she ran into people, she’d put on a voice and tell them stories about these extravagant dates of ours that never happened.” There was a slight curl on his lip as his eyes clouded over. “Once we were alone, she wilted like she’d spent all her energy on impressing other people. There was no chemistry between us anymore. And definitely nothing physical. If she got affectionate, I’d hear her on the phone later, telling someone all about it. I remember just being in disbelief when she spent an entire dinner feeding me lines to tell other people if I ran into them, to keep up with the new stories she’d made up. I could hardly stand to be around her anymore.” He glanced up at me. “But then she got pregnant.”

I felt myself nearly choke on the small sip of beer that I’d taken.

“She… she’s pregnant?”

His expression grew dark in a way that made my stomach immediately turn, as if I were about to hear something tragic. “She brought up marriage because she had every intention of keeping it. I didn’t say no right away. I wanted to take more time to think about it. It was supposedly the right thing to do but it felt wrong to me that without the baby, I’d never think of making her my wife. Not anymore, at least. But within a week, Woodhill found out that we were ‘engaged’ and Cara’s friends were already planning to throw her some big party to celebrate. But there wasn’t an engagement.” His jaw clenched tight. “And there wasn’t a baby. She lied about the pregnancy to get a proposal. So that was the last straw.”

Wow. I thought about the version of the story that Kelsey had told me — that their fight had been over something trivial. About when to have a baby. That they’d be back together soon because Cara was ready, as if she were the one with all the say.

I shook my head. “What is it about Woodhill that inspires people to do these things?” I asked, almost to myself. “Everyone’s so preoccupied with perfection that they don’t realize the things they do to get there are wrong. And immoral and ugly.” Like pimping out your daughter to her abusive boyfriend, all for the sake of keeping the Woodhill lifestyle. I stared forward, head still shaking as I

thought of my mother. Watching me closely, Aaron read my mind.

“What does she do?”

You can’t tell him. He knows her. But with my heart beating fast, I told him — every last detail about my mother, my father, their money and how it tied to Ben. And Dane. I watched the cloud cast over Aaron’s blue eyes once I began speaking about the vacation. Despite a visible and growing need to perhaps pound his fist into the wall, he sat still, his elbow on the bar top, the end of his fist pressed to his lips, containing himself as he carefully listened to me.

“Are you okay?” My question was a whisper once I finally finished. I could see his chest moving up and down quickly, a vein protruding from his neck as he soaked in my story. His body was rigid as his fist opened so that he could draw his palm across his lips, along his jaw. I actually heard a whisper of “look at him” from behind us as his taut muscles swelled beneath his shirt.

“I could kill him. Both of them.”

“Aaron.”

“I’m sorry, I just…” He took in a breath. “I can’t believe that someone who was lucky enough to have such a gorgeous, intelligent woman chose to reduce her to something completely voiceless. The best part about you is this spark you have. I can’t explain it but it makes me want to listen to every word you say. You’re smart and strong and the fact that you’re as beautiful on the outside is just an added bonus.” He allowed himself a short laugh. “A big added bonus.” Taking a breath, he shook his head with disbelief. “I can’t believe anybody would be stupid enough to waste you. You deserve better than that.”

His words caught me completely off guard. It felt so damned good to hear but at the same time, they flooded me with guilt.

“But… I did let him do it.”

“Do what?”

Shame heated my cheeks. “I let him suppress every real part of me until I was his little doll, just so my mother could keep buying four hundred dollar pairs of shoes. It’s like I spent most of my life groomed to be someone’s idiot.” I blinked at my own harsh words, realizing how true they were despite the fact that they’d flown carelessly from my lips. I felt Aaron’s hand tuck a lock of hair behind my ear.

“You can’t be so harsh on yourself. It wasn’t your fault.”