Discipline

Dane glanced at his watch. “Babe, didn’t you say you were running late for work?” he asked. I stared. The blood had drained from my face and I was nearly doubled over with horror, but there Dane was, just standing there, leaning back on his heels, grinning pleasantly since this was just a game to him. Since human lives served as toys or entertainment to Ben and himself. “Anyway.” He smiled politely as he stepped aside for someone, turning back to me to give my upper arm a little rub. “I’ll let you get going. But you have a good day at work, sweetheart.”

~

I wasn’t thinking straight.

The shock that had paralyzed my body with Dane was melting, twisting itself into a wild rage. So much so that I’d blacked out the cab or subway ride over. I had no idea which means of transportation I’d taken to get to Ben’s apartment, not that I had the time to really care.

“Been awhile, Miss Decker.”

It was a wonder that the doorman didn’t stop me considering the flames in my eyes as I barreled through the front door of the condo. He smiled placidly at me, somehow oblivious to my unhinged fury.

“I’ll let Mr. Kingdon know that you’re coming up.”

Fine. I didn’t care. I wasn’t counting on any element of surprise. I managed some sort of acknowledgement before storming past the front desk and into one of the stark white elevators. Barely able to stand still inside, I felt my pulse in my teeth, my foot tapping restlessly as I waited for the red light in the elevator to go from numbers to the letter P.

Ding.

The doors finally opened to his apartment. My heart thumped at the mere sight of the anemic penthouse. The overwhelmingly white and soulless place that I’d once had the misfortune of calling home.

The sound of my footsteps on his oak floor sent a chilly ripple up my spine.

“Ben.” My voice was steady despite my lividness. My jaw tightened as I heard the sound of a barbell clanking back onto its bench press, his footsteps in his gym on the floor above me, taking their time as they made their way towards the stairs. I stood still, red hot and seething as I watched Ben finally amble down the steps, wiping sweat from his face with his workout towel before throwing it over his shoulder. Taking the buds out from his ears, he grinned at me.

“Glad you came home, babe,” he exhaled as if it were any regular day. He jogged over to kiss me, but I jerked away quickly, a look of disgust on my face.

“You need to stop this.”

“What?”

“You need to stop treating me like I’m still with you, like I’m mistaken for living my life as if we’re broken up. You need to stop acting like I am any of your business anymore, like I don’t have any say in removing myself from your life and going to live one of my own. Aaron is not

your business. He is my business and you are going to leave him alone. If you dare to spread one lie about some affair starting between us while I was in high school, I will take legal action, I won’t even hesitate.”

Ben took a step closer to me. “So all these times that you told me you weren’t fucking him, you were. The least you owed me was the truth.”

“I don’t owe you anything.”

Ben gave a short laugh. “That’s where you’re wrong, babe. You owe me everything. At this point, your whole damned family owes me more money than they could earn in a year from that fucking stupid spa.”

I took a step back. “What?”

“Oh, you didn’t know? Your mom cashed my check a couple weeks ago,” Ben said, a thrill in his voice as he closed the gap between us. “Two hundred thousand dollars for that spa of hers that’s going to bleed money from day one. Poor woman, she’s got no idea what the fuck she’s doing,” he smirked, catching me by the waist as my knees gave out. “Hey, hey. Come on. Don’t worry about her. She’s not the brightest but she knows to take at least fifty grand out from that check to cover her own ass — pay off some bills, buy a few new bags. Maybe lease another car if she’s dumb enough.”

I was on the couch now, my fingers gripping the white leather sectional that I’d spent my last night in the apartment sleeping on. My legs had given out completely at the news of the investment. I couldn’t believe it. My mother had gone ahead and done it. She’d sold her soul to Ben. Whether the spa flourished or failed, she owed everything to him.

My voice was hoarse as I stared straight ahead as he walked toward me. “Why did you do this, Ben.”

He touched my face with his sweaty palm. I jerked away but his hand found my jaw, holding it still. “I spent three years making you mine, you can’t erase that. You were damned good to me, I know, but it’s because I showed you how to be that good. I was your school, I was your work, I made you into the woman you are. So you don’t get to run around showing off the things I taught you to other guys, and definitely not that fuck of a teacher. You need to realize that you were made for me, Nina. I’m not going to waste my time looking for another one of you. No one else is gonna know how to be good to me the way that you were.” He knelt before me, his grey eyes boring into mine. “Babe, just come home to me already. I gave you a better life here than you could ever make for yourself. Don’t act like I didn’t.”

“You didn’t.” My retort came quickly, making his nostrils flare. “You made me your servant. Not even that. An object. I had not an ounce of your respect and I still don’t. I was completely empty, I was a shell of a person who devoted everything inside of her to you. And I never even felt good around you, I only tricked myself into thinking that I did because every once in awhile, I got to be surrounded by glitz and glam and because sometimes, my father would call and sound relieved for the first time in ages because Mom magically paid off a bill. But even that isn’t worth it to have every drop of life sucked out of me.” I felt the blood rush back to my feet, the floor feeling steady beneath them again as I regained sensation. “I remember now. What it’s like to be happy and confident. To feel good, to feel actual pleasure.”

Ben stood, looking down his nose at me. He wet his lip, pausing for several moments. “You’re saying I didn’t give you pleasure?”

“Not once.”

“Fuck you, that’s a lie,” he hissed. I shook my head. “So you liked it better with your teacher, huh?” he asked, his voice menacing.

I was silent. As much as I wanted to, I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to give him any more ammo. So I sat still, staring ahead, thinking about what legal action I could take against Ben since it was becoming apparent that I couldn’t save Aaron from him. Slander was a word that came to mind. That was something, wasn’t it?