It was clear there was no space for her in his world. He’d made that obvious enough when he’d refused to introduce her to his parents. And now his family had imploded, there was no hope at all. As much as it hurt to accept that, she would have to. Even if she’d fallen in love with him.
He’d liked her enough to help her with her play, but not enough to call her his girlfriend. She’d been a convenient distraction, especially at night. What else had there been for him to do apart from that? He’d been hiding away for a few weeks, taking a break from the Hollywood rat race. If Cesca hadn’t been here, it would have been somebody else.
She could feel her heart starting to pound against her chest, a drumbeat of misery. She bit her lip in an attempt not to cry. Standing there, on the other side of the door to him, she realised it wasn’t simply two inches of oak that was coming between them.
It was life. His life. And it didn’t include her.
*
‘Maybe I can come and live with you, then,’ Izzy said, wiping her tears away with a curled fist. ‘Because I’m not living with that bastard any more.’
‘Izz, you don’t have a choice. Anyway, you’re off to university soon. You’ll only have to go home for the holidays.’
Sam looked down at his sister, taking in her watery eyes and red cheeks. The tears had turned her irises a cerulean blue, so like her father’s it was uncanny.
‘I won’t let you ignore us any more, Sam,’ she told him. He tried not to smile at her stubbornness. Her eyes might have been like Foster’s but her attitude was all Lucia’s.
‘I wasn’t planning on ignoring you. And now that everything’s out in the open, I won’t have an excuse, will I?’
‘So I can come and stay with you?’
Sam sighed. He was such a sucker. ‘Or I’ll come and visit you, OK?’
‘I thought you hated London.’
‘I don’t hate it, I just wasn’t that happy there. But I’m older now. If I have a break between movies I’ll come over. I’ll never live there, but I can visit if you like.’
Izzy sniffed. ‘That sounds lovely. I just want us to be all together. You me and Sienna, like we used to be.’
Sam smiled into her hair. ‘That sounds good to me.’ Though he’d never forgive his stepfather for revealing his secret in such a way, Sam couldn’t help but think there were some silver linings to his intoxication.
‘You know, Izz, it’s really late. You should go and get some sleep. We can talk about this some more in the morning.’
She squeezed his shoulders, as if afraid to let go. ‘I don’t want to be alone. Can I sleep here tonight?’
‘With me?’ Sam asked, surprised. ‘Um . . . I guess.’
‘Not that I can sleep anyway,’ she told him. ‘But I promise not to disturb you too much.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘You’ve always been disturbing.’
Izzy hit him, though her heart wasn’t really in it. ‘Stop it. I already hate one Carlton man, don’t make me angry at you, too.’
Sam softened. ‘I’d never make you angry at me, at least not again. Try to get some rest, OK?’
She was still clinging on to him. ‘Don’t leave me.’
Taking a deep breath, Sam lay down on the mattress, letting his little sister curl into him. Her face was wet against his arm. From the corner of his eye he could see the door, still closed.
He swallowed, though his mouth was dry. As much as he wanted to go to Cesca, there was no way he could leave his sister like this. No way he could take her with him, either. He was stuck, having to choose his family above the girl he’d messed around.
Izzy finally fell asleep a few hours later, her face screwed up as if in concentration as she dozed. Sam gently disentangled himself from her hold, freezing as she muttered quietly, before he slowly rolled across the bed and onto the floor. He waited for a moment, staring at her slumbering form. It was only when her breathing became rhythmic and her body relaxed that he finally allowed himself to walk out into the hallway.
Cesca’s door was ajar when he got there, the pale light of the early dawn escaping through the crack. Sam frowned, grabbing the edge of the oak to slip inside her bedroom, not wanting to wake her if she’d managed to fall asleep.
It was the emptiness that struck him as he pulled the door closed behind him. The emptiness and the silence. As he looked around, he realised exactly what had happened.
She was gone, and so were her things. Even the bed had been stripped, leaving a bare mattress and duvet where sheets and covers had previously been. And though the room still smelled like her, that was the only part of Cesca that remained.